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Billions for projects stimulate more questions than jobs

Below is a list of 102 projects to be funded by the stimulus package. There will be a lot more questions created by this stimulus package than there will be jobs. It's such an embarrassment of riches (for someone else) that it's hard to know where to start.

The first question is, why is any of this money going to private businesses?

Second, why is any money going to foreign suppliers or for research in foreign countries?

Why is tax money going to Harvard (#1) for a robot bee research project? Harvard has been collecting endowments and earning interest since 1636: as of fiscal year 2005, its endowment was valued at $25.9 billion.

About the various drug study tests:

  • (#90) What percentage of the drugs purchased for drug studies do you think will be consumed or resold by the researchers?
  • (#3) If illegal drugs are really dangerous and addictive, why would ethical researchers give them to human research subjects?
  • (#96) Don't we already know that mice become disoriented when they drink alcohol?

If they build the underpass for deer on a road in Wyoming (instead of an overpass for the cars), don't they need to hire crossing guards for each side of the road to make sure the deer use it instead of crossing the road as usual? Will they study why deer cross the road in the first place? (#15)

Is there anyone who doesn't already know why young men don't like to wear condoms? (#8)

Ohio has three projects in this list:

  • (#86) New jumbo recycling bins with microchips embedded inside to track participation in Ohio ($500,000)
  • (#56) Researching the impact of air pollution combined with a high-fat diet on obesity development in Ohio ($225,000)
  • (#21) Road signs touting stimulus funds at work in Ohio ($1 million)

(#86) If we get recycling bins with microchips, will there be penalties from the Green Police for non-use, or is this pure research?

(#56) How about combining air pollution with low-fat diets, and clean air with high-fat diets?

(#21) Will they give every Ohio citizen a can of spray paint for the million dollars worth of road signs about your money at work?

Why doesn't someone research these questions: Where do you think this money comes from? How stupid do they think we are?

Which is your favorite? How many permanent jobs do you think will be created? It's not that some of these projects aren't nice things to have or to do, but if you met 102 people this week asking you directly for a voluntary donation for each of these projects, how much would you give out of your own pocket, to whom? How much do you think will come out of your pocket to pay for all this in coming years, not to mention the other projects that aren't mentioned?

The 102 worst ways the government is spending your tax dollars:

102: Protecting a Michigan insect collection from other insects ($187,632)
101: Highway beautified by fish art in Washington ($10,000)
100: University studying hookup behavior of female college coeds in New York ($219,000)
99: Police department getting 92 blackberries for supervisors in Rhode Island ($95,000)
98: Upgrades to seldom-used river cruise boat in Oklahoma ($1.8 million)
97: Precast concrete toilet buildings for Mark Twain National Forest in Montana ($462,000)
96: University studying whether mice become disoriented when they consume alcohol in Florida ($8,408)
95: Foreign bus wheel polishers for California ($259,000)
94: Recovering crab pots lost at sea in Oregon ($700,000)
93: Developing a program to develop "machine-generated humor" in Illinois ($712,883)
92: Colorado museum where stimulus was signed (and already has $90 million in the bank) gets geothermal stimulus grant ($2.6 million)
91: Grant to the Maine Indian Basketmakers Alliance to support the traditional arts apprenticeship program, gathering and festival ($30,000)
90: Studying methamphetamines and the female rat sex drive in Maryland ($30,000)
89: Studying mating decisions of cactus bugs in Florida ($325,394)
88: Studying why deleting a gene can create sex reversal in people, but not in mice in Minnesota ($190,000)
87: College hires director for a project on genetic control of sensory hair cell membrane channels in zebrafish in California ($327,337)
86: New jumbo recycling bins with microchips embedded inside to track participation in Ohio ($500,000)
85: Oregon Federal Building's "green" renovation at nearly the price of a brand new building ($133 million)
84: Massachusetts middle school getting money to build a solar array on its roof ($150,000)
83: Road widening that could have been millions of dollars cheaper if Lousiana hadn't opted to replace a bridge that may not have needed replacing ($60 million)
82: Cleanup effort of a Washington nuclear waste site that already got $12 billion from the DOE ($1.9 billion)
81: Six woodlands water taxis getting a new home in Texas ($750,000)
80: Maryland group gets money to develop "real life" stories that underscore job and infrastructure-related research findings ($363,760)
79: Studying social networks like Facebook in North Carolina ($498,000)
78:18 North Carolina teacher coaches to heighten math and reading performance ($4.4 million)
77: Retrofitting light switches with motion sensors for one company in Arizona ($800,000)
76: Removing graffiti along 100 miles of flood-control ditches in California ($837,000)
75: Bicycle lanes, shared lane signs and bike racks in Pennsylvania ($105,000)
74: Privately-owned steakhouse rehabilitating its restaurant space in Missouri ($75,000)
73: National dinner cruise boat company in Illinois outfitting vessels with surveillance systems to protect against terrorists ($1 million)
72: Producing and transporting peanuts and peanut butter in North Carolina ($900,000)
71: Refurnishing and delivering picnic tables in Iowa ($30,000)
70: Digital television converter box coupon program in D.C. ($650 million)
69: Elevating and relocating 3,000 feet of track for the Napa Valley Wine Train in California ($54 million)
68: Hosting events for Earth Day, the summer solstice etc. in Minnesota ($50,000)
67: Expanding ocean aquaculture in Hawaii ($99,960)
66: Raising railroad tracks 18 inches in Oregon because the residents of one small town were tired of taking a detour around them ($4.2 million)
65: Professors and employees of Iowa state universities voluntarily taking early retirement ($43 million)
64: Minnesota theatre named after Che Guevara putting on "socially conscious" puppet shows ($25,000)
63: Replacing a basketball court lighting system with a more energy efficient one in Arizona ($20,000)
62: Repainting and adding a security camera to one bridge in Oregon ($3.5 million)
61: Missouri bridge project that already was full-funded with state money ($8 million)
60: New hospital parking garage in New York that will employ less people ($19.5 million)
59: University in North Carolina studying why adults with ADHD smoke more ($400,000)
58: Low-income housing residents in one Minnesota city receiving free laptops, WiFi and iPod Touches to "educate" them in technology ($5 million)
57: University in California sending students to Africa to study why Africans vote they the way they do in their elections ($200,000)
56: Researching the impact of air pollution combined with a high-fat diet on obesity development in Ohio ($225,000)
55: Studying how male and female birds care for their offspring and how it compares to how humans care for their children in Oklahoma ($90,000)
54: University in Pennsylvania researching fossils in Argentina (over $1 million)
53: University in Tennessee studying how black holes form (over $1 million)
52: University in Oklahoma sending 3 researchers to Alaska to study grandparents and how they pass on knowledge to younger generations ($1.5 million)
51: Grant application from a Pennsylvania university for a researcher named in the Climate-gate scandal (Rep. Darrell Issa is calling on the president to freeze the grant) ($500,000)
50: Studying the impact of global warming on wildflowers in a Colorado ghost town ($500,000)
49: Bridge built over railroad crossing so 168 Nebraska town residents don't have to wait for the trains to pass ($7 million)
48: Renovating an old hotel into a visitors center in Kentucky ($300,000)
47: Removing overgrown weeds in a Rhode Island park ($250,000)
46: Renovating 5 seldom-used ports of entry on the U.S.-Canada border in Montana ($77 million)
45: Testing how to control private home appliances in Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts from an off-site computer ($800,000)
44: Repainting a rarely-used bridge in North Carolina ($3.1 million)
43: Renovating a desolate Wisconsin bridge that averages 10 cars a day ($426,000)
42: 4 new buses for New Hampshire ($2 million)
41: Repaving a 1-mile stretch of Atlanta road that had parts of it already repaved in 2007 ($490,000)
40: Florida beauty school tuition ($2.3 million)
39: Extending a bike path to the Minnesota Twins stadium ($500,000)
38: Beautification of Los Angeles' Sunset Boulevard ($1.1 million)
37: Colorado Dragon Boat Festival ($10,000)
36: Developing the next generation of supersonic corporate jets in Maryland that could cost $80 million dollars each ($4.7 million)
35: New spring training facilities for the Arizona Diamondbacks and Colorado Rockies ($30 million)
34: Demolishing 35 old laboratories in New Mexico ($212 million)
33: Putting free WiFi, Internet kiosks and interactive history lessons in 2 Texas rest stops ($13.8 million)
32: Replacing a single boat motor on a government boat in D.C. ($10,500)
31: Developing the next generation of football gloves in Pennsylvania ($150,000)
30: Pedestrian bridge to nowhere in West Virginia ($80,000)
29: Replacing all signage on 5 miles of road in Rhode Island ($4,403,205)
28: Installing a geothermal energy system to heat the "incredible shrinking mall" in Tennessee ($5 million)
27: University in Minnesota studying how to get the homeless to stop smoking ($230,000)
26: Large woody habitat rehabilitation project in Wisconsin ($16,800)
25: Replacing escalators in the parking garage of one D.C. metro station ($4.3 million)
24: Building an airstrip in a community most Alaskans have never even heard of ($14,707,949)
23: Bike and pedestrian paths connecting Camden, N.J. to Philadelphia, Penn. when there's already a bridge that connects them ($23 million)
22: Sending 10 university undergrads each year from North Carolina to Costa Rica to study the rainforests ($564,000)
21: Road signs touting stimulus funds at work in Ohio ($1 million)
20: Researching how paying attention improves performance of difficult tasks in Connecticut ($850,000)
19: Kentucky Transportation Department awarding contracts to companies associated with a road contractor accused of bribing the previous state transportation secretary ($24 million)
18: Amtrak losing $32 per passenger nationally but rewarded with windfall ($1.3 billion)
17: Widening an Arizona interstate even though the company that won the contract has a history of tax fraud and pollution ($21.8 million)
16: Replace existing dumbwaiters in New York ($351,807)
15: Deer underpass in Wyoming ($1,239,693)
14: Arizona universities examining the division of labor in ant colonies (combined $950,000)
13: Fire station without firefighters in Nevada ($2 million)
12: "Clown" theatrical production in Pennsylvania ($25,000)
11: Maryland town gets money but doesn't know what to do with it ($25,000)
10: Investing in nation-wide wind power (but majority of money has gone to foreign companies) ($2 billion)
9: Resurfacing a tennis court in Montana ($50,000)
8: University in Indiana studying why young men do not like to wear condoms ($221,355)
7: Funds for Massachusetts roadway construction to companies that have defrauded taxpayers, polluted the environment and have paid tens of thousands of dollars in fines for violating workplace safety laws (millions)
6: Sending 11 students and 4 teachers from an Arkansas university to the U.N. climate change convention in Copenhagen, using almost 54,000 lbs of carbon dioxide from air travel alone ($50,000)
5: Storytelling festival in Utah ($15,000)
4: Door mats to the Department of the Army in Texas ($14,675)
3: University in New York researching young adults who drink malt liquor and smoke pot ($389,357)
2: Solar panels for climbing gym in Colorado ($157,800)
1: Grant for one Massachusetts university for "robobees" (miniature flying robot bees) ($2 million)
GRAND TOTAL: $4,891,645,229

From www.foxnews.com/hannity.

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Cincinnati Independent Examiner

Rhonda Keith is a writer, editor, and teacher whose weekly newsletter, Parvum Opus, has covered language (rhetoric, grammar, logic), education,...

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