After Monday’s column, I received lots of stories and tips about planning the rehearsal dinner/event and keeping the major players from imploding or exploding. I am going to share some of them with you.
This month’s married bride, Allison said:
“I just got married in March and I couldn't be happier to tell you about the planning process. The planning was exciting, stressful, daunting and overall FUN, because my husband and I chose to make it that way.
My husband and I paid for the entire wedding, except for the rehearsal dinner. We wanted the process to be as stress free as possible, so when it came to the rehearsal dinner, we knew we needed to be flexible and start earlier. My husband and I were engaged in September and started planning the dinner the very next month for our March wedding. We were proactive about choosing a restaurant, picking the invitees and so on.
My tip for maintaining a loving relationship with my in-laws during the planning process was to remind myself that they were just as excited as me, my fiancé, my mom, my dad, my brother, my sister and well, everyone. They were going to be a part of my family and I was going to be a part of theirs, so they deserved to be a part of the process.
Understanding, patience and lots of talking with your future husband goes a really long way. I would say, don't take it out on the future in-laws, grudges last a long time and family feuds can be created out of bad tempers and bridezilla moments.
I kept a smile on my face, reminded myself why I was really putting on the wedding and vented to people who understood when the planning got dicey. Just think, the in-laws might dislike the bride’s ideas just as much as she dislikes theirs…family is family — you don't get to pick them, but you do love them just the same.”
Next month’s bride--to-be, Crystal, said:
“I planned just about every aspect of the wedding. My fiancé and I chose our rehearsal dinner location and my future in-laws are paying for it. I've been working with my future mother-in-law and the restaurant, and it's been a great experience for all parties involved. We've been planning the rehearsal for 11 months now.
Honesty has made the planning process between me my future mother-in-law, the restaurant and me work. My future mother-in-law wanted to make sure my fiancé and I had what we wanted, but she had her own opinions as well. We were up front about everything and were able to figure all the details out. With about 3 weeks to go, it's something that I am definitely looking forward to enjoying.”
Autumn’s bride-to-be, Samantha, said:
“I’ve just begun planning a rehearsal dinner and the wedding date is in October. My future mother-in-law is paying for the rehearsal dinner, but my fiancé & I are definitely helping with the planning. My fiancé’s mother asked that we give her ideas for places where we’d like to hold it.
We found one that we really like and are meeting with my fiancé’s mom at the restaurant to discuss options later this month. While his mother and I are not particularly close, we’ve managed (and I hope will continue to manage) to maintain a good relationship throughout this process by respecting one another. I think she respects that it’s our special day(s), and I respect the fact that she’s paying for the dinner and therefore should have a say in where and how it’s done. I think it’s all about picking your battles—the rehearsal dinner is about spending time with the folks who’ve worked hard to help you put the wedding together and thanking them for their time and efforts. I guess it’s all about compromise.”
The mother of recently married and soon to be married grooms, Maurrie, said:
“I am the mother of the groom, with a wedding planned for August. I am actually the mother of two grooms, my other son was married in February, and we planned for his rehearsal dinner as well.
We are paying for the event in August, just as we paid for the other son’s dinner. We actually told both couples when they began planning the whole wedding thing, that we would contribute an amount to the wedding costs, give them money towards a honeymoon and pay for their rehearsal dinners. Both sets of brides and grooms have been involved in the planning as we select a venue, menu and decide whom to invite.
My (future) daughters-in-law are relaxed and easy going about the whole process. No bridezillas in our family, which makes the process pretty stress free. The wedding in February was in Oregon, and we live in Minnesota. I did talk to that bride’s mother about the place we chose and relied on her recommendation but the couple actually picked it out. I selected the menu and my husband and I were able to visit the restaurant and meet with the planners when we visited them in July and October. The August wedding will be here in Minnesota, which makes the planning a bit easier.
Although we are paying, it is a party for the couple and my goal is to make them happy and plan a nice evening for them and all the out of town guests.”
The event planners, Allie and Jill, said:
“It's important to keep the everyone involved and connected. If you don't have time to call everyone each time something exciting happens, the couple might want to start there own website, with pictures and updates. Maybe even a personalized newsletter. It helps the bride and groom keep everyone informed and helps the guests and families on track for the big day. You can also do this by reaching out to them and inviting them to see the venue, try the cake, etc.
The wedding planning process is the best time to bring the families together and get to know each other. Like we always say, you marry the family!”
Everything Events
www.everythingeventsco.com
Remember readers, communication is key, so keep the lines open.
Talk to you soon.
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