In the 48 hours since my last article on rehearsal dinners was published, I’m pleased to announce that it is sitting in the first position on Google out of about 150,000 articles on the subject of rehearsal dinners and in-laws. I am thrilled that you are reading the tips from my “women in the know” on how to plan this important event and how to do it while getting along with the in-laws.
Now, I am excited to share some more tips from the expert, Kathy Goodman of Well Rehearsed, http://www.wellrehearsed.com/, the leader in this field.
Here’s what Kathy has to say:
“When I first meet with brides, grooms and their parents, I typically start the conversation with asking them to describe the past rehearsal dinners that they have attended. The responses tend to follow the same pattern. There was a dinner, although they usually don’t remember what they ate. There were some beautiful toasts, though they usually don’t remember what was said, and the event was the night before the wedding. So in a nutshell, they do not remember too much.
Now if I ask the same question to married couples about their own rehearsal dinner, their responses tend to be similar BUT often what they do say is that the rehearsal dinner was one of the best parts of the wedding weekend. Why? Because their closest friends and family were at the dinner and they had time to sit down and enjoy the company of their loved ones.
So, why don’t rehearsal dinners get the attention that they deserve? The dinner is often an after-thought and planning begins too close to the wedding date. This is the time, however, when some of the best memories of the wedding can be made. I encourage a couple and the host of the event to think outside of that box of merely throwing a dinner party. Make it a special event that adds purpose to this important time and kicks-off the wedding celebration the next day.”
So what does this mean when it comes to the planning and maintaining harmony between family members?
• Talk about the rehearsal dinner and don’t save it until the last minute. Have a conversation with your fiancé and your families and understand and set expectations.
• Communicate throughout the process. Who is planning the event and who is giving input? Planning a celebration that joins two families together is a team effort.
• Think about the entire wedding celebration from your GUESTS’ perspective. They are probably anticipating a quick hello at the wedding reception. They have traveled to help you celebrate and would love to maximize their time with you.
• Don’t take the rehearsal dinner at face value. How can you transform the dinner into an evening that the bride, groom and guests will remember?
Think of it this way,
This is the first event that kicks off your wedding celebration weekend.
This is the time when your closest friends and family come together. Families may be meeting for the first time, you may be meeting some extended family for the first time, there are out-of-town guests and your bridal parties are getting to know each other. This is so important because it helps everyone bond and have a fantastic time the next day.
This is an event where you are hosting the most important people in your lives and saying “thank you for coming.” So many people have put time and energy in helping you create the perfect wedding day that this is really the time to say thank you through a well thought-out rehearsal dinner.
The rehearsal dinner extends your wedding celebration.
The rehearsal dinner is an extension of the quality time you get to spend with your friends and family. The wedding day will definitely be a full day of activities and celebration. On your wedding day, time “speeds up” and in a blink of an eye it’s over.
Your reception is typically five to six hours of that day. So think of your rehearsal dinner as adding 50% more time – QUALITY TIME – to spend with the people you love the most. It’s an event where nerves haven’t hit and you can really enjoy and soak up the evening.
This is the event that you can be creative and tell your story as a couple.
On your wedding day, you are celebrating your commitment to each other and your future together as a married couple. The rehearsal dinner is the time to remember your past, where you came from individually and how you became a couple.
Your family and friends will help you remember. There will be heartfelt toasts and maybe some roasts… but it’s a night that you can really tell your story as couple.
So, readers, like Kathy says, turn your rehearsal dinner into an event and celebrate the memories of the WHOLE FAMILY.
Talk to you soon.
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