Sitting in a tighter than usual row 30 on my flight from San Francisco to Florida to visit my dad, I am attempting to punch out this column without having my seatmates dump their beverages into my laptop. Faster typing combined with fine honed peripheral vision is going to be my strategy to write the follow-up to my last article on preparing the house for the in-law visit. I’m also hoping for no turbulence, or this master plan is going to implode.
Even with a perfect home set-up, there are other tips that I have learned from my research and my readers, one of which I am using on this trip. I waved goodbye to my husband and dogs and set off alone to visit my dad. Even though he has room, I prefer to stay in a nearby hotel. Although it is obvious that my dad is not my in-law, I am still drawn away from his guest room. I like my privacy and my down time and having a hotel room to go back to gives me both.
The secret to making this work for my dad and not having it look like I am insulting his hospitality is simple. He knows me well enough to know that his daughter likes her space. Now, if he was my in-law, the way I would have handled my hotel visit was to let him know me. If the discussion about lodging takes place early in a relationship, then there is less of a chance that feelings will be hurt.
Which brings me to my upcoming visit to my son and daughter-in-law’s home, also on the East Coast. My husband and I are going to be first-time grandparents next month and are excitedly awaiting the birth of our grandson. Another tip I gleaned from my book research was to wait for the new parents to be ready for the visitors. Even though we will be staying at a hotel, descending on the new family on day one of this important time in their lives is not going to happen. We will patiently stand-by and when the threesome is settled into their lives again, we will hop the first plane out of California.
If you are a mother-in-law, some other important tips to remember when you visit your son and daughter-in-law include:
- Play by their house rules. Learn how they live and respect their lifestyle.
- Ask before you help with housekeeping, dinner or decorating.
- Be flexible and understand that your schedule and theirs may not always mesh. Dinner may show up at 10:00 p.m., so roll with it. It’s a visit, not the rest of your life.
And now the beverage cart is rolling up and that either means I better stop typing or I am testing my luck with my keyboard. I like my MacBook Air too much to play Russian roulette.
Talk to you soon.
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