Let’s start with the premise that you want it to work. This holiday is going to be the one that you look back on and smile. Big leap for some, but many others have figured out how to make holiday celebrations successful and enjoyable for everyone involved.
I saved some tips that I read from Today Show contributor and psychiatrist, Dr. Gail Saltz, that I thought were valuable. She said:
Pick off-peak times to travel and celebrate. Traveling at peak times — whether it’s your journey or your in-laws’ — will cause lots of tension and subsequent crankiness in everyone. You are really just setting yourself up for disaster. So, pick off-days to travel and be together, even if it means not celebrating the holiday with them, but instead the day after. The added relaxation you feel will be more important in the long run.
Less is more. Come to a consensus on the number of days you think you can all be under the same roof — and stick to it. It’s better to end up wanting more time than to feel like you want to throw your guests out, or vice versa.
Be assertive. Even if you are not the oldest member of your extended family, you are still an adult, and should be treated as such. If something is going on that you really are uncomfortable with, then remain firm in your rules. Kids may need the structure of their usual schedules — especially when traveling.
Pick your battles. When it comes to health, safety and basic family values, you really need to hold your ground. However, other family relationships really are important, so try to compromise on some matters. Let your relatives do some things their way to show them you respect them, too.
Work out disagreements ahead of time. If trouble is brewing before the holiday, try to resolve the problem over the phone before the get-together to avoid a blowup for all to see.
Recognize the value in all your family relationships. Try to be attentive to all your family relationships in between holidays, so that hurt and resentment don’t build up in between visits. That way, holiday gatherings will not be burdened with excessive expectations, and everyone can truly relax.”
There are only six suggestions in this list. How about giving some, preferably all, of them a try this week.
Happy Passover and talk to you soon.
Comments