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Many people wonder what true infidelity is in a relationship. At what stage is the person being unfaithful. If you are not married, is it okay to have affairs with others?
The definition of infidelity in the dictionary is: "marital unfaithfulness or an instant of it." Interesting though that there is another definition which is "lack of belief in a religion." For some, marriage is bonded by religion and many people belief that being unfaithful is an act against God.
I think of it as a broken promise. If you promise to someone that you will not sleep with someone else and then do so anyway, I believe that consitutes as infidelity. The agreement can be made within or outside of marriage.
The important element in this is that both parties agree to be faithful. In early stages of relationship, some people assume the other person is not having sex with anyone else because they are having sex. This is a big mistake. Many hearts have been broken with this assumption.
The best thing to do is have open communication to whomever you are dating, especially when it is sexual, as to your expectations of the relationship. Some may argue that it is too soon to have the talk. If you are having sex, you should talk.
Many people struggle with the choice of leaving their partner when infidelity occurs in the relationship. There is never a clear-cut answer. Getting coaching or therapy around this subject can open up the dialogue so that you can make a better decision as to the future of your bond. Sometimes, when a promise has been broken, the damage is irreparable.
Comments
Interesting post - wish there was a little more meat in it.
Infidelity is not being honest with your partner(s). I use this definition as not every relationship is monogomous. Polyamorous relationships accept being in love with multiple people, swingers allow multiple partners, open relationships are not closed to just 2 people, etc. If you are not honest with the people you are in a relationship with, and break the rules that you have set, then you are cheating.
this topic should be stratified not only by age , but also by life status---if you are a widower, over the age of 60, you are certainly not into planning a family where infidelity can destroy not only the relationship , but also the family. I do believe in full disclosure to each other , and would go so far as to feign having multiple partners , even if you are monagamous. All of this , of course, goes out the window if you have promised to be faithful and you are creating a committed relationship.
cheating= boredom. people have attention problems... Some people are able to divide their love and attention but I have tested theories and I know I could not... it gets gross real fast. Thats why I would not stay with a partner who cheated. They don't know what they want or who they are.
Infidelity hurts, and there are many reasons for it; middle-aged men tend to experience reduction in erection, so they mistakenly believe that a younger woman will provide the stimulus for erection; they are wrong. To decide to stay with the infidel is hard; I am living that now; it is killing him that he hurt me like he did, but his reason for doing so was related only to him, not to me, and his inability; he found that I am not the cause of his problem, and is trying hard to repair the damage done; is he a keeper? You bet, but it's hard to get over.
My husband was caught in another state having dinner with his "girlfriend." This has been the hardest hurdle that I have had to go over in my entire life. Forgiving is hard, but forgetting is next to impossible.
Cheating means more than a broken promise. Cheating is a result of a lack of open, honest communication.
My husband cheated on me.
After the pain subsided, we had a choice to make...stay or go. If we chose to stay together, it would require us to dig DEEP into why the cheating happened (so it wouldn't repeat). This increase in communication was miraculous.
If more couples would REALLY talk about everything (even the uncomfortable stuff) they could prevent the person from stepping out. Stepping out is a cheater's solution to a problem. THAT problem is the issue, not the cheating. Cheating is betrayal, for sure, but it is also a cry for help...a person who cheats thinks that they can solve their ISSUE with another person other than their spouse.
Chris
makeyourwifehot.com
Infidelity is simply: doing anything that you would NOT do with your spouse present.
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