Dear Sexpertly Yours TaMara!
My husband wants to try dominatrix and/or wife swapping. I want to keep him happy and I am a little curious. However, my fears is..what if he likes it more than me or vice versa. I am glad that he came to me to ask instead of just doing it. Should I go along with it or not? Please help!
Sincerely,
Bondage Babe
Dear Bondage Babe!
I greet you in love and beauty! First and foremost, I commend and uphold you for reaching out to us for assistance. It's a huge step to expose your vulnerabilities and you were able to do so, so thank you!
Now to answer your question.....
I think that you and your husband has overcome the very most important step in a relationship especially when it comes to sexual desires; and that is communication. It is great that you two are able to communicate about your sexual wants, needs, fantasies and desires!
Now in terms of dominance, have you considered role playing his Dominatrix "Mistress"? However before engaging in any "play," you want to educate yourself about the all facets of dominance. This could be a starting point for you to explore and expand your sexual repertoire. There are places that offer classes and/or you can contact a professional Mistress to gain some insight and pick up some tips. Also, you can check out this article I wrote about Being a Dominatrix. Finally, before you get starting, you'd might like to consider is checking out a BDSM club with your husband. Try it out and see if it is something that the two of you are really and truly interested in and from there take it to the next level of dominance. Here are two great articles to check out: "Role Play: The Dominatrix" and "BDSM: Pain, Power & Pleasure."
Now in terms of wife swapping, in order to engage in wife swapping, swinging, etc. you and your husband must be in a place of total security, trust and confidence in yourselves and your relationship. There definitely needs to be a conversation behind the reasons for this decision. There should be a clear understanding and definite boundaries in place before moving forward. Don't be afraid to ask the tough questions, especially about feelings, emotional connections and sexual connections to others. Also, what are you hoping to gain from this experience, is this a one time thing or will it be on-going are some additional questions that you both want to address. Should you decide to move forward, there should also be a conversation after the experience to process the experience and feelings as a results. Most importantly, be sure to use protection!! also, look at your "new" partner genitals very closely because condoms do not cover every sexually transmitted infection.
Finally, the decision to act on your desires must be made in conjunction with your husband. Meaning both of you must consent and must be totally comfortable with the decision.
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