Will shark attacks change Howard Stern's views on surfing?

   AP Photo/Lori Shepler

Last week, Howard Stern made the surprising announcement on The Howard Stern Show that he deeply regrets that he never took up surfing.  Howard Stern, who is wildly neurotic about his looks, spoke on Wednesday’s show about his inability to get rid of his jiggling belly despite running for miles almost every day and eating a healthy diet.  Howard Stern mused that if he had become a surfer, he could have been fit for life as well as being more meditative and relaxed.  In what seemed to be one of the more serious and self-reflective moments of The Howard Stern Show last week, the King of All Media silenced his co-hosts briefly with his self-professed regret about never having “ridden the waves.”

One problem Howie.  What about shark attacks?

Of course, next week Howard Stern might change his tune.  This weekend has brought news of a series of shark sightings in Malibu, California and the airing of a documentary of the 1916 shark attacks at the Jersey Shore.  Howard Stern, who once refused to jump in his pool to save his bulldog Bianca without first taking off his shoes and socks, is not known for his tenacity against forces of nature such as shark attacks.  

Hopefully, if Howard Stern does finally decide to sow his surfing oats, Beth O will be beachside in full evening wear ready to bail him out at the sign of the first man-hungry shark.