Artie Lange fans are hoping that Artie Lange is in capable hands of
some legitimate substance abuse counselors--for once. (AP Photo/Charles Sykes)
Is Artie Lange finally in rehab?
Howard Stern Show fans are bracing themselves for another Artie Lange cliffhanger over the holiday break. Howard Stern Show sidekick Artie Lange has been absent from the Howard Stern Show all week on Sirius XM management's orders, and recently cancelled a scheduled stand-up performance for Thursday night. The series of missed shows and appearances has a lot of Artie Lange fans hoping against hope that the "Baby Gorilla" is finally getting some serious help for his heroin addiction.
The Howard Stern Show fan sites SternShowBlog, SaveBabyGorilla and SternFanNetwork are all buzzing with discussions of whether or not Artie Lange is finally in an inpatient rehabilitation facility. If so, that could mean that Artie Lange won't return to the air for quite some time--if at all.
Others are speculating that Artie Lange is getting canned by Sirius XM for his erratic behavior and sporadic work attendance. Comedians like Nick DiPaolo and Jim Florentine have been picking up gigs in Artie Lange's place and some Howard Stern Show fans are wondering if Sirius XM is already auditioning new comedians for Artie Lange's spot.
Howard Stern and the Howard Stern Show cast have their lips sealed tighter than a vaginal rejuvenation on the Artie Lange issue. On Monday morning's Howard Stern Show broadcast, Howard Stern said: "“I don’t want to offend Artie. I like it when Artie tells the story”.
What story? A story about Artie Lange crawling back under the covers for an unspecified amount of time to bury himself in a sarlac pit of despair? Artie Lange fans are hoping that's not the case.
It was one year ago, right around New Year's, when Artie Lange called in to the Howard Stern Show from a "rehab" in Florida where he was supposedly being cured of his heroin addiction through a series of wheatgrass colonics and positive visualization sessions. That didn't work out so well. By April, Artie Lange was using heroin again, and many fans and Howard Stern Show co-hosts claimed that Artie Lange wasn't the slightest bit interested in kicking the habit.
Some Howard Stern Show fans, though, say that it's time to kick Artie Lange to the curb. In Artie Lange's absence over the past week, the hefty comedian has remained one of the main topics of discussion and many fans have told Howard Stern that he's a sucker for sticking with the beleaguered addict for so long.
On Tuesday's Howard Stern Show, Howard Stern responded to Artie Lange's critiques by saying: “The show is better with Artie. He’s a great guy and he’s someone I’ll always fight for."
Weigh in with your thoughts on Artie Lange's whereabouts below and then vote in the poll!
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Comments
Anyone want to explain the word 'sarlac?' Was this a typo? Dictionary.com says it's a Mongolian word for "yak," but Ms. Brown used it as an adjective -- which makes no sense.
:-)
Third culture kids examiner
Seattle stay-at-home moms examiner
Its sounds like from listening to Howard that he's ready to let Artie go. Its too bad because Artie was the only one left in the studio that still says shocking things. Howard doesnt say anything riske anymore for fear of being sued and losing all of his money....
Bring Jackie back. I miss his laugh.
Artie will be back in three weeks proclaiming how he now sees things clearly and that he's never felt better. He will also announce his engagement to his therapist.
Howard is too much of a pussy to criticize Artie -- much to the show's detriment. Please Howard bring back punching bag Jackie.
Artie's act has gotten old and only distracts from the show. If Artie is not busy kissing Howard’s ass he is telling the audience how f***ed up he is or what a loser he is. I know he is sick and needs significant help and ongoing treatment. He is stale and that does not make for good radio. What a great opportunity to bring Jackie back. He was not a kiss ass (that got him in trouble) and was ALWAYS funny. Jackie is just the infusion of comedy the show needs.
id bang lisa g
pete i would too
Eddie Wells:
The Sarlac Pit is from Star Wars: Return of the Jedi. The Sarlac is a large-mouthed monster that lives in a pit on Tatooine. The whole pit is just the Sarlac's mouth, and anyone who falls in cannot escape. They are digested by the Sarlac over the course of 1000 years.
I'M TIRED OF THE TIME WASTED ON THAT JUNKIE,HE USED TO BE FUNNY BUT NO LONGER CAN I TAKE HIS "I'M KING OF THE WORLD, AND I'M ON THE HOWARD STERN SHOW, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? CRAP. I WORK HARD AND THEY ROUTENLY FIRE GOOD WORKERS FOR ATTENDENCE, MY BLOOD BOILS WHEN I SEE THE CRAP HE GETS AWAY WITH, BRNJIE, GARY, FRED, ROBIN WOULD HAVE HIT THE ROAD LONG AGO HAD THEY PULLED THAT CRAP, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, SIRIUS KEEPS HIM..I'LL READ ABOUT THE SHOW FOR FREE. NOT AN IDOL THREAT I PROMISE!
ONPOINTHYDROPONICS.COM
GREAT DEALS
If Artie does not come back. I will cancel my subscripion
artie looks just like the mucinex mucus guy.
Once we get government-run healthcare in place, Artie will be successfully treated!
I think the decision of coming back or not has already been made by Artie. He has complained time after time about the horrible hours he has to put up with, and not being able to party late into the night. I mean who can blame him, but shouldn't a multi-million $$ paycheck compensate for this? I guess money is not everything. I think next to Howard, Artie is one of the funniest, edgiest guys on the planet, but if work interferes with his lifestyle then it's time to for him move on. I think management, and the entire Stern show staff is a bit fed up with the lies, empty promises, and half hearted attempts at sobriety. So sleep-in Artie, and one day when one of your venues is half full, remember to kick yourself in the ass. I sincerely hope you get better.
I think the decision of coming back or not has already been made by Artie. He has complained time after time about the horrible hours he has to put up with, and not being able to party late into the night. I mean who can blame him, but shouldn't a multi-million $$ paycheck compensate for this? I guess money is not everything. I think next to Howard, Artie is one of the funniest, edgiest guys on the planet, but if work interferes with his lifestyle then it's time to for him move on. I think management, and the entire Stern show staff is a bit fed up with the lies, empty promises, and half hearted attempts at sobriety. So sleep-in Artie, and one day when one of your venues is half full, remember to kick yourself in the ass. I sincerely hope you get better.
Eddie Wells:
The Sarlac Pit is from Star Wars: Return of the Jedi. The Sarlac is a large-mouthed monster that lives in a pit on Tatooine. The whole pit is just the Sarlac's mouth, and anyone who falls in cannot escape. They are digested by the Sarlac over the course of 1000 years.
Bring back Jackie!!
"Artie is an addict"--Robin Quivers
Artie is funny as hell and the show would feel it if he were gone for good...Jackie was good, but more because of Howard and Fred always goofing on him...other then that he's the most unfunny comic I've ever heard. I mean, come on, hes still telling jokes I heard in the 3rd grade 25 years ago!
Artie has long overstayed his welcome on the show. The only thing he's successfully done is drag down the show and nearly ruin it's legacy. Please let the fans be done with his antics.
He won't be returning to Sirius. Inside information from tonight's holiday party confirmed everyone's suspicions. Artie was released from his final years contract on Dec. 15th. You will all be informed of the decision to part ways on Jan. 11th. Happy Holidays.
I SO hope that your information is accurate, Insider. To no longer have to listen to that fat overrated slob would be the best Xmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza and New Years' present all rolled into one ever!!
The show comes back Jan. 4th dingleberry, not the 11th. Nice try though.
I will renew my subscription if he does not come back.
I grew up in a home with a junkie, that person almost ruined my life until I was old enough to get out of that house of hell. My brothers addiction sent both my parent to an early grave 60 and 62. The years of pure HELL, addicts don't care about anyone but themselves and their drugs, it's only until they hit ROCK BOTTOM as was the case with my brother 11 yrs in prison for him when then snap out or get worse the problem is saying sorry it's enough, The wounds have heeled but the scaring remains forever. F-Ardie let him figure it out the hard way, he needs to lose it all, so he'll weak up. BTW, today my brother is back on drugs after 13 yrs clean. I love him and hate him at the same time. I'm 53 and in thearpy the last 20+ yrs. NO DRUGS FOR ME.
"stonermoog says:
artie looks just like the mucinex mucus guy."
best.comment.ever.
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Get well Art!
Come back, Artie!!!!!!
And we'd all better hope so.
If Artie is history, so is the Stern Show. Howard won't extend his contract and we will be hearing a lot of "Best of" in 2010.
What are you talking about Sour Pants? The show will only improve once that big baby Artie is gone for good. Why would whether the cry-baby returns or not have anything to do with Howard re-signing or not? What a terrible insult to Howard saying that if Blubber Face doesn't return, it's the end of the Stern show. While Robin, Fred, and Gary are great, they too are all replaceable. The only irreplaceable one is Howard. As for comedians, they are a dime a dozen ; hopefully when Howard finally replaces the fat blob, he will replace him with a FUNNY comedian this time. Alternating the words "f*ck, f*g, n*gger, c*nt", etc." every second sentence does not equal funny, yet that's what Blobbo's act has boiled down to ever since the gang moved over to Sirius.
I love Artie. The show is better with him. Get better, or worse . . . but get back to work.
If Artie truly is gone and they are interviewing for a replacement I will officially submmit the one and only Jim Breuer as said replacement. That guy is an absolute riot on the Stern show, always has great stories, and is an incredible impressionist. Lange is a one-dimensional character and, if it's even possible, he's become a fraction of a one-dimensional character in the past year or so. I think Breuer would be all over the opportunity if it was presented to him
My xmas wish for Artie: I hope one day very soon you realize how fortunate you are and what a blessed life you have - a life only other's can imagine or dream of having....there are so many people sadly dieing of illnessess they cannot control....unlike you Artie, you can control it - all you need to do is grow up and take charge of your life - there so many others able to keep themselves together through much worse tragedy....just stop it, really!
Just amazes me how one guy can have so many problems.
He's not now nor has he ever been even remotely funny. He's a total loser and has destroyed the HSS with some help from Beth Horsetrosky.
I LOVE Artie and you all know that the drama he brings makes the show even funnier. To people who slam him for having problems or not appreciating his life, I can attest that losing your father as a child causes the type of pain that when not dealt with (because THAT is re-living it by the way) will cause people to self medicate with things like OPIATES and BOOZE. No excuse at all but perhaps instead of being so one sided, you should understand that his pain makes him funny but it also makes him complicated and you have NO IDEA that money makes things easier. For me as a junkie, MONEY made it WORSE so use your brain for something other than ripping on people PLEASE!
Artie is a screw up and not very funny as a stand up comedian, but he's great on the Stern Show. Hope you get your life together.
Hey, moSTERNwithARTIE:
1) Artie was a screwed-up loser long before his father died.
2) Artie was not a child when his father died.
3) Lots of kids grow up without one, or even sometimes two, parents, but they don't necessarily end up as non-disciplined, narcissistic a-holes.
4) Artie has a selfish sense of entitlement which has led to his out of control lifestyle.
5) Artie can be mildly humorous occasionally, but more often than not, he only drags the show down.
6) Artie fits in more self-promoting plugs than Jackie ever did. Howard is a wus for letting him get away with it.
Artie is not funny. Period.
artiefannetwork DOT com
Nayyyyyyyyyyyy!!!
After listening to the History of Howard Stern Act 3, I think the show was better pre Artie.
Ummmmm ahhhhh cough ... That's about the only thing artie can bring to the stern show. Every time he opens his mouth "ummm ahhhh " dude wrecked the Howard stern show for years. Hope they fired his ass. Everyone is tired of hearing excuse of excuse. Bring back Jackie or hire someone who can bring something fresh to the table.
The show was better pre Artie because Stern was better pre Artie. Artie with Stern back then with Billy West would have been incredible.
The show is horrible with Robin trying to pick up where Artie left off. I've been listening for 17 years listening, recording , listening.. I love it. But with Robin so exposed it's really a shame. It positively has jumped the shark now.. But I will continue to listen because I love listening to Howard's jabber.
I'm positive I would love the show again with any of a number of comedians.. Nick DiPaulo, Robert Schimmel, NOrm McDonald (he'd do it), Colin Quinn.. Howard and the rest of them know this too I bet. Artie Lange as funny as he is fat.. and as fat as he is stupid.
I think Artie Lange has definitely been fired from the show. During Artie's previous absences from the show, Howard the Egomaniac took the opportunity to play up the absence and work it into the show. This time around though, Howard is carefully distancing himself from Artie, almost as if he is trying not to say anything slanderous or cast dispersions about Artie that may alter his future employment and thus open up a lwsuit against Howard in the future. Also, Howard mentioned on the air that Artie and his problems were getting way too much attention and that they were trying to distance themselves from that line of conversation. We all know that Howard is an egomaniac, and that the spotlight must always be on him. I think he was a little jealous of the attention Artie was getting. None of this is to say that Artie's problems haven't been getting in the way of the show. His Uh's and ah's can be downright infuriating, but I think Artie's days on the Stern show are over.
i don't listen on days artie's not there. i hope he comes back soon!
I have been listening to the show everyday since it came to Los Angeles back in 1991. For a while this year, Artie was way too much and way too negative, but the last few months he seemed to get it together and was hilarious at times. Act 3 is great, brings back a ton of memories. Act 1 and 2 were awesome. Great job on the History of Howard Stern, I would have paid for those cds. Bababooey and F-Jackie
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