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One of the many goals parents have when raising children is to encourage independence. Self-motivation, inner strength, and self-awareness are valuable commodities when pursuing happiness in life. But how can homeschooling possibly foster these traits when children are being removed from traditional social situations, such as classrooms and recess?
Perhaps counterintuitively, the structure of homeschooling, whether a classical education, unschooling, or something in between, creates a dynamic which fosters independence from an early age. Parents are intimately involved in their children’s education, but they also learn that they cannot do everything for their children. Children soon take over greater and greater responsibility for their own education. This cannot happen in traditional school, simply by virtue of having 20 to 35 students in a classroom with one main teacher. The chaos would be unmanageable.
Typically in homeschooling, the younger the child, the more directly involved the parent. The parent will sit down for basic teaching, whether practicing counting, writing, reading, or drawing. But even at this level, parents quickly learn (if they don’t already know), the value of free play. Children discover endless amounts about their world from play, and play is what elicits the most questions in a child’s learning. What is that white butterfly called? Why do rollie pollies roll up? How can I build an airplane with my Legos (link intentionally not provided, as figuring out to build an airplane is the fun and purpose of the exercise)?
Children also learn about their world from participating in the family. Questions arise, such as how does a vacuum work to why does yeast make bread rise. But more important is that children learn how to be part of the family unit, as well as how to take care of the daily chores of life. This does not mean that homeschool kids approach household tasks with any more joy than any other children, but they do learn as part of their day what needs doing and how to do it. In many homeschool families, making meals becomes a family affair with everyone participating on some level. Household chores are delegated among all family members, as there is no other way for them to get done (homeschooling takes a lot of time).
As children get older, they are expected to take on great responsibility for their education. Families often have conferences to find out what direction each child wants to pursue, and discuss how that can happen. This is not to say the children completely control the process to the point of doing nothing if they want. Instead, the meetings serve to guide the children toward thinking in concrete terms of their interests. A child who says she wants to play more video games may be encouraged to think on what about the video games she enjoys. The graphics? The gaming? The computer? Then, through discussion, a more solid plan of education will be developed. Art and graphic design? Software development? Creative writing? Computer design? A parent will then proceed to help the child figure out where to learn about the chosen line. Text books? Library books? Unit study? Speaking to experts? Submitting work to professionals? Seek out a local class on the subject? Soon, the parent goes from the role of teacher to guidance counselor. The child goes from student to teacher. This transition allows the child to experience one of life’s most valuable lessons: How to learn.
Traditional school cannot compete with this. In order to score well on exams, students must be taught what will be tested, not what captures their interest. Students must all learn according to a state-mandated curriculum developed with age-based assumptions in mind, not as their minds and emotions are ready to handle the information presented. Students must play at a designated time, in an increasingly unstimulating area (blacktop? no grass? few, if any, balls, jump ropes, or other outside toys?), not when they are ready to play or for how long they want to play, with loads of items to jumpstart their imaginations (sticks? dirt? balls? shovels and pails?).
Even the little things in life, such as using the toilet when needed, as opposed to when told, create independence in a child.
Parents and educators need to look at the life for which they are preparing children. As an adult, when was the last time they were asked if they were reading at an age-appropriate level? Or at what age they learned to tie their shoe? Or told when they could use the bathroom (some jobs, due to safety concerns, do schedule bathroom breaks, but these are the exception)?
Of course, parents of traditionally schooled children can also encourage independence. The difference is the children are in school for 32 to 40 hours a week. Add to that time getting ready for school, coming home, homework, and the many other ways traditional school intrudes upon life, and parents find that not only do they have very little time to instill their ideals, but they are often working against what the schools are teaching.
Independence needs to be practiced. It needs to be learned. Society is unrealistic in thinking that a teen of 18 who has been told for most of his life how to do something, when to do it, and for how long, should suddenly know how to handle the responsibilities of an adult.
While much of this may sound like opinion, and perhaps much is, parents only need look at one of the many reasons colleges and universities are courting homeschoolers: intellectual vitality. As Jonathan Reider, former senior associate director of undergraduate admissions at Stanford University, puts it, “These kids have it, and everything they do is responding to it.”*
*Foster, Christine. "In a Class by Themselves." Stanford Magazine. November/December 2000. <http://www.stanfordalumni.org/news/magazine/2000/novdec/articles/homeschooling.html>
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