As a group, homeschool families may take a slightly different path than that typically embraced by the dominant culture regarding sex and dating among teens. Often, the idea of courtship is given priority, with opposite sex relationships being developed as friendships until the young man and woman are ready to seriously think about marriage.
Part of this framework is commitment to abstinence from sexual activity until marriage. This decision may be preceded by discussions about sexuality, differences in the ways males and females think, the positive impact of saving yourself for your spouse, and suggestions for avoiding situations of temptation. Some families provide an opportunity for Dad to present his daughter with a purity ring and his commitment to protect her and to maintain a life of integrity himself.
New Life Pregnancy Center, which is a ministry of Arizona Baptist Children's Services, will be hosting a Father-Daughter Purity Ball. This event features an elegant dinner and dessert, special entertainment, a guest speaker, a time for fathers and daughters to sign commitment cards, a rose ceremony, and light-hearted dancing with a DJ. If you have already begun investing in your daughter through conversations and being attentive to guarding her heart through your care and example, the ball can further reinforce the groundwork that you have laid. If you are wanting to purposely build godly character into her life, this event can be a segue for developing a deeper relationship together.
2010 Father Daughter Purity Ball Events
Seats fill on a first-come, first-served basis and do fill quickly!
We ask that the young ladies who attend are at least 10 years old
September 10th, Chandler
4th Annual Father Daughter Purity Ball
Time: 7:00p.m.
Place: The Castle at Ashley Manor, Chandler
Call 602-346-2300
Cost: $40
Registration online or call 602-346-2300
Related articles and information:
- Homeschool Standards of Excellence Cotillion classes will teach social graces to young men and women
- Father/Daughter Purity Ball coming to Chandler September 10
- Upcoming Purity Balls in other Arizona cities
-
Reviews of books and other resources about modesty, purity, dating, courtship
Comments
To be frank, I'm not entirely sure how I feel about a father-daughter purity ball, but I suspect that my reaction is partially because such events have been demonized in the media. (And I was never entirely comfortable with father-daughter dances, either.) What I am sure about is that it's a good idea to have activities that strengthen the relationship between father and daughters (and mothers and sons, for that matter) in ways that are recognized and supported by the community. Such purity balls seem to do just that.
Debra,
Thanks for the frank comment. I just read an article by Mary Pride (a homeschool author and speaker) who disagreed with the idea also. I was surprised by her comments, since I hadn't heard that point of view. She stated that Scripturally, it is the women who are to be training daughters about life, love and marriage--not the dads, and women were traditionally the ones who gave gifts of jewelry to the daughters. I can see her point, but I totally agree with your comment that the family and community need to offer and model opportunities for the strengthening of family relationships.
I would even say that the typical modern family has a lot to learn about communication, honoring and valuing all members of the family, seeking out ways to help the others grow and mature and discover their gifting. I am seeing that the family unit is designed by God to be the safest place for each one to flourish and become the full person they were created to be. Hurrah for those who embrace and teach those concepts!
I am a teenager and i dont think that it is wrong to have sex out side of marrage. and i dont think that it is a bad thing to be in love and have sex.
HI Danielle,
Thanks so much for the honest comment. Although I was a virgin when I got married (and I am SO glad that I was!) I spent far too much time in lesser physical contact with boyfriends (kissing and snuggling etc). Looking back after hearing about things like date rape (which I hadn't heard about until I had been married and had kids), I realized how vulnerable I had made myself in several situations. Only by the grace of God did I get by with nothing like that happening, and I am overwhelmed with His protection.
I know for myself, if I had had sex outside of marriage, I would have a lot of shame and anxiety to deal with. What I know from talking with other women, the after-effects--even if one doesn't get pregnant or some STD--are definitely not worth the momentary pleasure.
I believe that you and every other woman are worth waiting for. The right man who is worthy of your love won't want to use you and cheapen the relationship. Instead, he will see you as a treasure to be valued and cherished and honored and treated with dignity and respect.
I hope that you find a young man who is worthy of you.
Father's and daughters having a special bond is how it should be.. great article Holly!
Hi Chrissy,
Thanks for the comment. I recently read an article that "showed scientifically" how important it is for that healthy bond between fathers and daughters. It is interesting that science is now validating what common sense has been saying for years. LOL
I love events to promote and enhance relationships with parents and kids...thanks for the info, Holly!
Hi Fran,
Thanks so much for reading and promoting this. It really is exciting to learn of events that teach honor and respect and parental involvement in the lives of their children.
Whether one agrees with a Father-Daughter Purity Ball to encourage the biblical role of fathers and six inside of the marriage relationship or not, one has to agree that society as sexualized children, especially females, at a younger and younger age. The high rate of teenage parents, sexally transmitted diseases, and emotional scars that come with having sex outside of marriage and at young ages, is reason enought to support any program that promotes family bonds and explaining the reasons behind a parent's desire for their child to wait for marriage. Great article Holly!
Cindi,
You are so correct that even very young girls are targeted for sexual activity, and I am finding that there is a huge trauma factor for any child who has been violated. I am volunteering for an agency that will be a safe house for girls who have been abducted and sold into sexual slavery, and the AVERAGE age is 13. The messages of the culture that encourage sex outside of marriage are often also the messages that demean children or women who try to report sexual abuse.
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