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The ninja twins take aim to protect homeschooling
UPDATED Wednesday 6:05pm. It has become apparent that I need to put a disclaimer up front. I know that there are unschoolers who give their children a fine education. However, my issue is not with them, it is with those people w who hide behind the label of unschooling.
In my opinion, John Holt, the education reform advocate has a lot to answer for. He coined the term "unschooling" and actively promoted this form of non-education.
Radical unschooling says the following:
In general, unschooling is a form of homeschooling in which children follow their own interests and direct their own learning. Holt asserted that it is a child's nature to learn and that children learn all the time. He further asserted that coerced learning, as in schooling, inhibits children's curiosity and natural desire to learn. Unschooling is also referred to as free learning, life learning, and child-directed learning.
How can Holt, and unschoolers, say that if the child doesn't initiate the learning, then it is coerced learning? This is the most ridiculous concept I have ever heard of. I am forever meeting moms in real life and on the net who are proud of the fact that their 6-12 year olds aren't yet reading because they have not yet expressed an interest in doing so.
The mind boggles that parents can be so negligent. When we have infants and toddlers, are we supposed to not speak to them and say to each other that we'll teach them to speak once they express an interest in doing so?
Of course we aren't! We constantly talk to them, we name objects in their view and we reward them with praise and attention when they start vocalizing.
Talking is a skill that comes naturally to humans and yet there are no parents, unschoolers or not, who don't help their little ones learn to talk. Yet these self same parents will pompously tell anyone who cares to listen that they would never coerce their children to learn to read.
When I think of coercion I think of the dictionary definition: persuade (an unwilling person) to do something by using force or threats . I become quite miffed when I read the unschooling rhetoric that implies (and often states) that those of us who actually teach our young children to read are using force or threats.
I cannot understand hamstringing a child so much by not teaching them to read at a young age. If you have a young child who is unwilling to learn to read, then it is your fault. You have not worked out how to best provide that instruction. Reading is not an easy skill to learn. Children need to be enthused about it and you, as the homeschooling parent, need to find the method that works for your child. Just because you are a failure at teaching reading, does not mean that your child is unwilling to learn to read.
I look at my 8 year old children who have been strong readers for over 3 years. They feel empowered by their reading ability. They follow all sorts of rabbit trails in books and on the net. This is only possible because they can read. Their vocabulary is streets ahead of most of their peers, because a) they read so voraciously and b) I take the time to teach them Greek and Latin roots. An unschooler would say that I coerced them into learning Greek and Latin roots because they did not express an interest in learning them, I drove that decision.
To those unschoolers I say that a child who has no knowledge of the world, has no ability to know what he wants to learn. My children glory in their ability to read new words and to be able to break them down into their component roots. Why would you deny this sense of satisfaction to your young child?
Not long ago my daughter asked me why a 10 year old she met couldn't read. She wanted to know if something was wrong with her. I had to explain to her that this child's mother followed a different philosophy from us, instead of focusing on academic excellence, she was practicing a form of pseudo education called unschooling and that she was waiting for her child to want to learn to read.
Shira was horrified and sad. She had tears in her eyes when she asked me why this mother was punishing her daughter like this. She could not envision a world where she couldn't pull out a craft book and read the instructions herself when she wanted to do a new craft, or read a recipe when she wished to bake or read a book about her beloved horses. Shira thought that the mother was being cruel. Interesting thought from a so-called "coerced" child don't you think?
Over the years I've learned to pick out the unschoolers at a glance. If you have a group of homeschoolers, the unschoolers are more often than not, the out of control ones. They tend to be the ones glued to a Gameboy instead of playing with the other kids because they allow their child to play video games morning, noon and night (because to have him do anything else would be coercing him.). They are the ones who are running amok and whose parents are proudly telling you that their children follow their bliss and that their children's inner spirits just shine through (shine through the dishevelment perhaps! So many of the unschoolers I meet have this vaguely unkempt look about them.). These are probably the people who proudly tell you that their children are Indigo children. It makes you sick to hear this nonsense. These kids suffer from a serious lack of parental involvement or boundaries. A little bit of external and internal discipline will turn these monsters into children that are a pleasure to be around rather than the children we all pray will skip the get-togethers.
I have met thousands of unschoolers, both in real life and online, and I have to be very honest and say that I have met a handful or two who have well educated, delightful, well-behaved children. They surround their children with learning opportunities and take an active interest in their children's learning. However, these unschoolers are not the norm, not in my experience at least.
The vast majority of unschoolers that I've met appear to me to be lazy women who don't want the work involved with sending their children to school. They don't want to volunteer at their children's schools or be bothered with homework so they unschool and call it homeschooling.
These are the lazy women who don't want to take the time to teach their children useful skills in a systematic manner. Rather, they rely on chance and the hope that their children will become interested in something. People, listen up. Playing videogames morning, noon and night because that is what your child is interested in is not homeschooling. Nor is practicing a musical instrument all day to the exclusion of all else homeschooling. Neither is playing imaginative games all day homeschooling.
Homeschooling is providing a systematic and timeous education for your children in the privacy and comfort of your own home. Uschooling is merely a lazy mother's excuse for educational neglect!
To read more on this great homeschool debate from other Education Examiners, go here
Comments
Get ready for the onslaught of comments, Sherene!
A lot of folks self-define as unschoolers who nevertheless provide a load of guidance and teaching of their kids. These aren't the folks you're talking about, though. I'm thinking specifically of those who can take any interest of their children and turn it into ability-appropriate reading, writing, math, history, and science lessons. Because this concept has become blurry in recent years, there will be much opportunity for misunderstanding your article. Perhaps putting a crisp, genus-differentia definition of the way you're using the term "unschooling" at the top of the article might help a bit.
Wow! What a very well written outspoken article. Very fitting for a "homeschool debate." I must confess that I've never understood unschooling and I don't know any unschoolers personally, but it doesn't seem to be anything that would fit my personality or comfort level. I know of many homeschoolers who also do a poor job. I think some parents are just plain lazy and I know of one lady who just doesn't want to get a job so she tells her husband she needs to be home to homeschool their son while she watches TV all day.
We are unschoolers, but my kids are well-behaved (I've been stopped in the store & told how refreshing it is to see such well-behaved children). Mine were reading at an early age too, but I never decided they were going to read one day. If they weren't ready, I'd get the same result as if I had decided my child was going to walk when he wasn't ready. My kids don't play video games all day and yes, I do interact with them, thank you very much. I have found that the more "school" educated a parent is, the more structured they feel they must be with their own kids. Is this you? I'll bet it is. You tell yourself, "If I made it and needed so much structure, my children will get the same." I think you do all homeschoolers a huge disservice by painting a big segment of us with such a large brush on a public forum like this. How about this: I will stay out of your home & not tell you how to educate your children if you will stay out of my home & not tell me how I should educate mine. Deal?
Take a chill pill. And quit allowing yourself to be offended by unschoolers. You should be more focused, with keeping homeschool legal in all 50 states. Than complaining about unschoolers. A sad life you must lead. If all you can do is complain about another parents choice. This is exactly what big goverement wants. For us to fight amongest ourselves. So they can come in and save the day. By passing more laws and regulations. Homeschoolers need to stay united,regardless of what homeschool method we all choose to use.
i agree with emily. i think the battle in the next several years is going to be keeping homeschooling legal. unschoolers don't bother me. ppl who are neglectful of their kids would be whether they were in school or not. my 3.5yo can read books. it wasn't hard for her to learn. every kid is different. every parent is different. you can't possibly understand what has led a family to choose unschooling. or schooling. and i don't think it's really your business.
For some of us, teaching our children to read at a later age is an intentional decision made based on the theory that, 'the corpus, callosum, a late developing organ in the brain. This organ becomes complete somewhere around the age of seven, give or take a year or two.' There is also the theory (notice, I'm using the word 'theory' here) that developing synapses in the brain make different connections in pre-literate children, giving them more of an opportunity to create 'outside the box' thought patterns.
From where I stand, having taken a 10 year old son out of school in 5th grade who could not read and having taught both him and his younger sister to read (a bit late) I don't believe that schools are the answer for all non-readers nor do I believe that late reading is necessarily a handicap.
Not the point of your post, really, as it's about negligent parenting under the guise of unschooling but salient, nonetheless. (I hate this thing telling me how many characters I have left, (
It sounds to me, Sherene, like you fundamentally disapprove of unschooling. (Yes, even with the disclaimer.)
Children will learn when they're ready. Not every child is ready to read at 5 or 6 or 7. Children will, given the room to do so (which requires turning off the TV) learn what they need to know to become functional adults as long as they're raised by functioning adults.
Me, I am more comfortable with Classical, but a dear friend of mine is doing a bangup job of unschooling her very,. very bright little boy. I didn't understand unschooling until I n=met them, but now I do -- maybe you should go find some unschoolers and develop your opinion beyond "It' not like I do it".)
How pompous! You obviously have formed an opinion based on a limited interaction with unschoolers. Just because your children were reading at 5 years old, doesn't mean all children are ready at that age. I tried to force it with my son....at 5, 6, 7...then a reading specialist at a learning center suggested I let him just listen to me read stories...lay off the lessons for awhile. This child did not read until he was 11. But when he did, he took off with long books like JR Tolken. Now, as an adult, he runs his own contracting business. He has an amazing reputation in the community among his peers, and work associates. It was because I was relentless in pushing him that he got frustrated. And it took a licenses learning specialist to help me see it.
You go, girl! Absolutely correct. Failure to educate while claiming to teach a child at home...it's grounds for terminating parental rights since it handicaps a child for life as surely as malnutrition. If you starve a child, the state will take him away and place him in a foster home. In my opinion, it's wicked to fail to feed a child's mind.
Wow! I can't believe the inflammatory, discriminatory, stereotypical, outlandish, and disgusting words I've just read. Not to mention harmful to homeschooling rights to attack other methods of learning!
Yes, a rare parent can be found hiding behind the unschooling label while doing what can only be described as unparenting. But rare! To slam unschooling in general for your misconceptions is unfair and childish. What is it about unschooling that threatens you?
You use examples of your child to apply to all children? You name call and slander? It's obvious this is more about your opinion being right with no room for differences. Unfortunately this is a great, big world and not everyone needs to agree. I could argue your points but would it matter?
Could you at least do us the favor of not encouraging the loss of homeschooling rights by clustering *your* negative perceptions under the light. Do you not see how that hurts ALL homeschoolers?
gee, what a fair, calm, intelligent, and balanced presentation of an opinion. i feel positively enlightened.
I do think that as homeschooling becomes more mainstreamed, we have to drop the "we're all wonderful" illusion and be willing to say, yes, there are some people who shouldn't homeschool, some people who are doing a crap job of it, some who are just okay, and no homeschooler is perfect. So many homeschooling blogs/articles just pretend that everything is great and wonderful and blissful and everyone is so fabulous. Well, that's fine while you're still a marginal group. However, as more and more people homeschool, we have to turn our gaze inward a bit and allow factions to be factions.
Otherwise the whole movement is discredited because it's unwilling to critique itself, improve itself, edit itself. That's like a cult.
I was initially upset by this article. You wrote it in such an inflammatory way as to incite negative emotions from the unschooling community. I've since caught my breath and realized that you are ignorant of the benefits of unschooling. Of course, maybe I'm the ingnorant one since I have not had the benefit of meeting "thousands" of unschoolers.
I agree with Emily. Homeschoolers Unite!
Hi! I felt that this is a topic worthy of discussion, and due to the space limitations of the commenting area here I posted a reply to you on my own site: adversarian .com/2009/07/negative-myths-my-reply-to-an-article-on-unschooling/ Just take away the space after 'adversarian' and the link will work.
I totally and wholly disagree with what you. The same statements you have made here can be applied (and have been applied) to homeschooling of ALL types. In my opinion, you do those in the general homeschooling community a very large disservice by making such sweeping statements. The fact is, that there are bad parents everywhere. Under what "cover" those people are bad parents is not relevant. The fact is, that HOW a parent chooses to educate their child is THEIR decision. It is not up to others to decide whether their way is right, because what works for one family does not always work for another. I would have given your thoughts more credibility had you given examples of ADULTS who were unschooled as children, and are now failing in the "real world" to succeed. Unschooling success by it's nature cannot truly be judged until the process is over so to speak, and the child has become an adult.
I agree with you about goofiness like "indigo children," but your tone was a little out there too.
My children were never "schooled" but they've learned an incredible amount and are still learning at 23, 20 and nearly 18. I didn't twiddle my thumbs waiting for them to "be ready to learn." They've been learning every day since they were born.
The "child led" angle isn't something I like, nor is "child directed." No one needs to lead and no one needs to direct when the homelife is rich and full.
There are lazy moms in the world; most of them put their kids in school. There are homeschooling moms who never did want to unschool, but were pressured (coerced, even) by their church or their husband. There are energetic and attentive but (I think) misguided mothers who are hoping their children came from other planets, or whatever, but that doesn't change the value of unschooling done well, and there are people volunteering their time daily to help others do it well.
Your comments on late readers assume that all you have to do is pour information into a child and it will "take." However, many kids (especially visual-spatial/right-brained learners) are not developmentally ready to read until later (no matter how "good" the instruction).
I did work some on reading with my boys when they were younger, but when it was obvious that they were not ready, I backed off. Each one easily came to reading in their own time (at the ages of 8 and 9).
If it helps your daughter better understand, please share this post with her:
www. throwingmarshmallows.com/home/how-can-you-learn-if-you-cant-read.html
Yes, there are homeschoolers out there who may not be doing as great a job as everyone would wish. But unschoolers are no more likely to fall into that category and it is unfair to use such a broad brush.
I am glad that your approach works well with your kids. I can guarantee you that there is more to my approach than the stereotype you presen
Hello I am a radical unschooler of three girls. My girls are always on the go wanting to learn all the time my oldest is five and she loves science and singing my middle is four and she loves to learn about everything and my youngest loves books. They are very loving, compassionate, and kind people. We learn every day all day just by being out in the real world and seeing it first hand when they ask questions about something we research it online or read books and talk about it Together. Unschooling is about letting childrens interests guide their learning we are not neglecting them by not making them do workbooks and worksheets. My five year knows almost every North American bird and can spot birds of prey and tell you what they are by their beaks and feathers and she does not know how to read but she can write very well. My four year old knows all about butterflies and moths and caterpillars. So you see they are learning so much about the world around them. Their are important to us.
Does it make sense to dismiss parenting because some who call themselves parents starve their kids or lock them in closets?
Some people use the parenting label to abuse kids for sex. Does that example say anything useful about parenting in general?
While some call themselves unschoolers (or vegetarians or Mormons) it spreads misunderstanding to use fringe examples as though they represented an entire group.
Even on a list of 2000 unschoolers I'm not "forever" meeting parents "proud" their kids aren't reading. But unschoolers trust -- from experience! -- their kids will learn to read as effortlessly as they learned to speak in an environment where the printed word is useful and enjoyable.
Unschoolers may not "teach" but we're a resource, answering questions, filling their environment, helping them, reading to them. Just as we did as they learned to speak. It's the exact same process. It's confusing to imply that "not teaching" is parents not interacting and responding to the
We're radical unschoolers from Hanover County. Have we met? Your name sounds familiar.
My kids are 15, 16 and 22. Reading happened for each of them at different ages, but they all read now! :D
My daughter recently read "The Fountainhead" and "Killing the Buddha", both of which were quite over my head.
My sons still read "Calvin and Hobbes" almost every day, as well as "Born to Run", "Once a Runner", "Running with the Buffalos" for the 16yo, and science fiction, comedy and political satire (Bill Maher, Al Frankin) for the 15yo.
Maybe what you are writing about here are uninvolved parents, not unschooling. I met a woman several years ago who said that they unschooled, but she was an angry, volatile woman who didn't really connect with her kids at all.
Today, I might be lazy! Yesterday, I took my 16yo to track practice, then came home and had to bathe the dog, who had rolled in deer scat, then took both boys to guitar practice, came home and met w/ a portrait client. :)
Your daughter's feelings about the child not reading were no doubt colored by the negative tone with which you presented the information. How 'bout this: "Some kids are later readers. For kids who aren't forced to do reading lessons, the average age for learning to read is around 9 or 10. Her mom is honoring her where she is on her path; she reads to her every day, they live in a print-rich environment, and one day, she'll get it! Until then, she's learning in her own way! Isn't that cool?" I don't know how you could have possibly hung around with "thousands" of unschoolers and come away with these opinions. PLEASE do some research, talk to REAL unschooling families, not neglectful parents calling themselves unschoolers, read about Sudbury Valley School - 40 years of non-coerced readers! - before you spread your ignorant bias and misinformation.
As others have pointed out, you are doing a disservice to the homeschooling community at large by printing this tripe.
I am a new unschooler and find your article to be extremely offensive. My daughter suffered in school, her confidence and desire to learn has grown since we decided to homeschool/unschool. Every day is an adventure of learning new things. I think you need to do more research on what unschooling is about before you write an article about it.
I know people who call themselves unschoolers who seem to be awesome teachers and others that scare me.
Most of the people I talk to who unschool are very much like the parents you discuss regarding talking with a child. It isn't "hands off" parenting/educating, but very hands on with great focus on modeling and encouraging. I didn't start teaching my son to read until he expressed a great interest. But reading and literature is so much a part of our everyday that he started demanding to be taught at six. If he hadn't, however, we would have started anyway. :)
The ones that scare me are those who call the rest of us into question for not educating this way. I've seen more than a few hold anything else as some sort of child abuse.
I am shocked that you have lumped all unschoolers into one group. I am not lazy and take direct offense that you would slander me in such a way. My children are advanced in comparison to other children their age. They are happy, well adjusted. My home and my children clean and tidy. My children are non violent, generous and loving.
Lately I have met a lot of families who are using structured, public and or private schools and find them to be filthy, their children violent and unhappy, fighting, name calling ,constant with the green snotty noses and what if I said on meeting those dozen, that all people who don't unschool are of the like? I am sure that it would be found just as offensive. I deliberately took a few moments to comment, but I really am amazed that you have so much free time on your hands that you were able to do research on how lazy unschoolers are. Who is teaching your children while you take the time to berate others and is this the lesson you are teaching them?
It's important to keep in mind that learning is not a "one size fits all" situation.
My children were in public school until a few months into the 1st and 3rd grade last year. We tried the "school at home" model, mostly to appease my very structured son. After three months, we had to take time off to deschool. We tried to return to the same model, and maybe it would have been successful, had our children not experienced public school (and yes, they enjoyed public school; we, the parents, decided to remove them for various reasons).
School at home doesn't work for them, and I'm not going to spend the time I have with them battling over "lessons". They have many days where they spend time with workbooks, but that's because they enjoy it and want to do it. Just like adults, we typically learn when we are interested and enjoy it.
It doesn't seem worthwhile to condemn or judge different methods of homeschooling. Until we have all walked in each other's shoes, we could not possibly
Unschooling bigotry at its best (or worst).
Let's lump all the "unschoolers" into one broad category and treat one (or limited group) family/student as representing the whole group. If you have a problem with "them" then you have a problem with all of "those people".
Let's stereotype all the homeschoolers, private schoolers, public schoolers, boarding schoolers, charter schoolers, etc. into their own simple categories so we can feel better about "us" wherever we fit best.
I know several homeschoolers and others who children struggle with reading, and the statistics are open on public school illiteracy. Congrats if you have an early reader - have some more kids and see if they all develop at the same rate.
Do a quick find and replace on your article and replace "unschooler" with "homeschooler" and "homeschooler" with "public schooler" and you'll have another point of view (or try "black student" and "white student" to go back another 50 years).
Reading can be a very easy skill to attain IF the learner is ready. My daughter now 9.5 is in the process of moving effortlessly into full literacy. She began her process decoding symbols and signage when she was a toddler. Now she is reading game instructions and web pages, as she progesses to a desire to read such things as novels. At the moment her comprehension is much faster than her eye decoding. Her chosen reading material reflects her verbal vocabulary. I read to her a great deal.
We have not found it true that my dd has been kept from that rabbit hole of connections by her pre-literate status. On the contrary, I have made myself constantly available to take that wonderful journey with her, for as long as it takes. That's the real difference between neglectful parents co-opting the name of a wonderful philosophy and real unschoolers. Near undivided attention, intense connection and unflagging energy devoted to helping our kids engage in their passions and DO things every day.
Both of my children read and neither has been in school. Both have been unschooled. One of them read at the age of 11 and the other started at the age of 7. Both of my girls are bright and articulate. Both of them have been able to, at any time, pull out a craft book or learn about horses. They don't have to read it themselves to be able to do so, nor do they need an actual book to do crafts and learn about horses.
Both of my kids acquired a significant amount of reading skills through video games.
My later reader, at the age of 15, is a gifted hairdresser and stylist, as well as an amazing make-up artist. No amount of reading helped her get to that place.
Every person has special and unique talents, and some people aren't readers and writers, they are engineers, and scientists, and artists. Perhaps you should examine your own reading biases.
Perhaps you should actually meet some unschoolers in real life, rather than the fictitious thousands you say you've met.
I am an unschooling mom of 3, aged 14, 13, and 11. My oldest likes working out of text books. My younger 2 have learning differences that affect their ability to read and we have learned how to work around that. They all love to read. My kids are extremely active doing all kinds of classes and lessons that follow their interests, including volunteering in the community, and are often complimented on their behaviour and attitude. My 13 yr old son made a revelation a couple weeks ago that I was very happy about. He said that he may be behind in reading and math compared his friends but he is way smarter than they are when it comes to everything else like living in the real world. Now my son may not be doing algebra but he knows how to work hard, keep track of his money, calculate tax and to save for things that he would like. I love seeing their growth. I love the fact that they are open to trying new things, even if they seem daunting to start with. Why would I take away their enjoyment
I taught public school and now I homeschool. There is no one fit for any student. That is what "unschoolers" understand. Some unschoolers even send their kids to school! It's about knowing your child- what are the current interests. Do you think our great scientists should be faulted with their obsession with quantum physics? And about the children that run amok- thank God for those kids. What spice they give to life. How boring if everyone colored with primary colors within the lines. My 5 children are in "invisible" school and have been since birth. We are all still in "invisible school". Lighten up and realize that this life is about giving joy and finding joy. Go explore a forest and listen to the sounds. Feel the earth beneath your feet. Look at at tree for the first time and just be amazed at all it's glory. Daily living is not a competition. Besides, we are not here to learn anything-just to remember who we are.
This article sounds like a public school teacher talking about homeschooling, and believe me, I've heard from a few who feel this way about homeschooling, period.
But, like all groups, there are positive and negative experiences. It's dangerous to make generalizations such as the ones in this article.
We participate in several homeschool groups and there are plenty of religiously homeschooled unkept and unruly children (and parents), and, I'd have to guess that's everywhere. To be fair, it would have been open-minded to include the same observations of those folks, as well.
I could go on rebutting each point in this article, but I continue to come back to this being a reflection of a fearful, negative, judgmental person.
The writer most likely has biases toward folks who are "different". This is a shame, as it is better to use your readership for good instead of evil.
Shez, I agree with you completely. Any parent with a 9 year old child who can not read has done them a great disservice, and stunted their educational development by at least 4 or 5 years. Some of the hostile replies are obviously the result of insecurities or failures on the part of the posters. Thanks for the great article. And to those that are angry with Shez, I hope that the college entrance exams have a section on video games.
At first I was pretty steamed reading this artilce. However, I get that unshooling freaks some people out. I am an unschooling mom and it freaks me out sometimes. However, unschooling is really about the learner choosing how he/she learns best. For our 19 year old, it was unschooling until he was ready for 9th grade. Then he decided, on his own, to go to public high school. He graduated in 2008 with a full scholarship to college and is studying Film. Prior to high school all he did was make movies. Our 12 year old is in a small, private, very innovative school. He has bipolar disorder and he and I are better together when we have time apart. He LOVES his school. My 9 year old, barely reading, unschooled daughter, has decided she wants to attend a homeschool co-op this year. So that is what she will be doing. Unschooling is about choices that work for everyone individually. And to the lady who said the responses from unschoolers were hostile, actually they weren't at all.
Sherene Silverberg's article is sexist as well...my husband is the primary unschooler in our home as I am the one with full-time employment.
Now that you've added the disclaimer - "I know that there are unschoolers who give their children a fine education. However, my issue is not with them, it is with those people who hide behind the label of unschooling." - this article is not worth the paper it's written on, is it?
Maybe you could rewrite it so that it's directed to the people you apparently intended it to be directed to - the small minority of "unschoolers' who give unschooling a bad name.
I'm happy to waive the apology to the rest of us. I can't speak for others of course.
As an unschooling parent, I didn't specifically teach my children to read with reading lessons, but read a lot to them, answered their questions (how do you spell tree? what letter does house start with?) all the time. We shared and read together, and had lots of conversations. We had (and still do!) lots of books and workbooks (for fun, not required) and letter blocks and cards and games. I didn't teach them to read, but they had access to the written word. My daughter, now 14, didn't read fluently until she was 11, but when she did she started reading things like Eragon right off the bat. She developed a huge Neopets page, writing html code to create backgrounds, as well as text that was free of spelling and punctuation errors. Should I have pushed her to read at age 5? 6? She wasn't ready. My son, around age 8, decided he needed to read. We picked up a book, Hoot, and he surprised himself by reading out loud. Kids WANT to read, and will in their own time.
I was forced to read at an early age, and I have to fight to read anything now, I don't enjoy it and never have. I read because I have to get information not because I want to.
I decided not to do that to my children. My oldest is almost 8 and is just now expressing an interest in reading, and is doing well. He showed the same tendencies as I had, he was NEVER interested in books, I read to him all the time, we both did, and he would kick at the book and crawl/walk away.
My youngest is 4 and reads fluently, but he's always been into books, from the time he could crawl he would go to the books and sit and look at them.
Every child is different and for you to say your daughters friend is punishing her is just insane. We know our children, we know how they are and what will work for them.
I'm just sorry you are so close minded that you feel you are better than others because it doesn't fit with how you think we should educate our children.
I feel sorry for you & your close minded
Wow! Granted one can share thier OPINION...but it's very apparent that this article, is all this is... a very bias, ignorant, generalization of the writers misguided beliefs! Please know that no true Unschooling parent is denying anything to thier children... the very nature of the philosophy is being present, facilitating the child needs...if a unschooling child wishes to learn to read that is facilitated.
Wow. I'm not sure how you thought you would write that, Shez, add not create a whirlwind of controversay or/and comment. I'm not saying it's bad, I loved your article- It made my morning!- BUT I am not an unschooler and that has made all the difference in my veiwing of it. Perhaps you might write an article on the difference between "unschooling" and "not schooling".
We classical school. My in-laws "unschool". Their kids are going to public school this year because they asked to, and their parents, true to their child-lead philosophy, let them, but my kids don't want to go. But my kids have more daily work then their cousins, less time to play video games, less time to talk on IM at all hours of the day. My kids also have something their cousins don't- daily accomplishment. At the end of the day, my children have done something real. This is where confidence comes from- accomplishment. I don't see that as much in my in-laws. They didn't "unschool", they "not schooled".
Your article equates unschooling with neglect. As an unschooler, I have to disagree with that over-simplification. Being an unschooling parent is a lot more work. You have to remain constantly flexible and adapt to your children's needs and interests. I think that the large pitfall you've landed in is assuming that there needs to be some sort of learning benchmark that all people are measured against. We all learn different things at different paces. While reading does open many doors to knowledge, it is by no means the only path. You might be surprised by the kids who learn to read by playing video games (they want to know what's going on). Learning happens all the time, not just when it's scheduled. That being said, there are parents who don't take any sort of responsibility; they can be regular schoolers, homeschoolers, or unschoolers. There may be a temptation for some to look at unschooling as an easy shield for their non-parenting. These people do not represent true unschooling.
You took a John Holt quote, and then deliberately changed his meaning. He spoke of "coerced learning," and then you added that anything that the child doesn't initiate is coerced learning. He didn't say that. He was talking about learning that is coerced.
My children don't feel coerced about learning unless they are coerced--the kind of learning that happens when one is bored, staring out the window, counting the minutes until the subject/class/workshop/lecture is finished. I know many school-at-home types who work really hard to avoid coerced learning as well. If you aren't arguing in favor of coerced learning, then you used the wrong quote to support your argument.
I hope that you are teaching your children better logic than you displayed in this article, unless your point was to manipulate opinion rather than build a solid case.
I didn't start out as an unschooler, I fell into it. Now my middle boy who is 7 1/2 who hates reading is reading 3rd grade reading level on his own over night. I started to push him in reading and math when I first took him out of school. That was the BIGGEST mistake I ever made. Letting it go was the answer.
Apparently, teaching bigotry and condescension are part and parcel of your children's homeschooling education. The story regarding your daughter's reaction to meeting another child that isn't doing what your daughter has been taught to believe is "normal" is telling. If teaching intolerance for diversity and encouraging your children to pity others, who likely do not seek this or feel any need for it, is part of your curriculum, your homeschooling would appear to be a resounding success. I see no effort to teach true compassion or respect for the rights of others in your article, both of which are arguably as or more important than reading - at any age.
I will be interested to see how you respond to the many comments your article has inspired.
As I was tidying the kitchen during the last hour, I had these interactions with my children:
Fractions and their own recipe for Easy Bake cookies.
Whether Earth or the galaxy is larger, asked by dd5. Grabbed Atlas of the Universe from the living room shelf, and we browsed. Read aloud about nebulae. Ds7.75 said, "I know what a nebula is. It's where stars are born. First they are protostars, then stars. It takes a while like a million or two years..." He learned that on TV. I didn't know it.
Read about Monoceros the unicorn - and discussed the Greek roots.
Looked at an experiment to simulate a galaxy. Discussed whether they might want to do it; iffy response, so put it on the back burner. Ds did mention there are many fun activities in that book. I might have pushed it, but they were done with galaxies - for now.
Helped dd find her patriotic music so she could "interrupt John F. Kennedy".
Helped ds with his computer game hardware-marrying experiment.
Lazy,
As an unschooling Mum with a child that learned to read at the age of 12, I can tell you that it has nothing to do with being "lazy" or neglectful. There are many children that are better off reading later, when they're minds and physical development are ready. It's pretty schoolish thinking to assume that if a child isn't reading by a certain age, there is something wrong with the teaching method.
My son (now 15) reads very well, articulates well and can spell beautifully all without lessons....the very same way he learned to speak; by being surrounded and immersed in what is natural in his home and community.
Also, there are plenty of schools one could enter in which video game experience would be an important part of your portfolio. My oldest son (19) is going to college this fall and the time he spent gaming and building computers has only helped. I know of interviewers (for places like Blizzard and Microsoft) that ask about your gaming experience. The world is changing, wake
If you're so proud of your children's ability to "follow all sorts of rabbit trails in books and on the net," why don't you sit with them, and help them follow those rabbit trails, instead of making out the next lesson plan. Find out about those rabbit trails and what they are learning and loving. Talk with them, explore with them, and find more cool things with them. Watch as they learn from it all. Oh, wait.... if you did that you'd be one of those "neglecting" unschoolers.
I think that you misinterpret me and Holt. A parent could certainly initiate a learning activity without coercing it. Coercion is force against the child's will and interest in doing the activity. Initiation is sharing and guidance - both wonderful gifts to a child.
My formal response to your article is located under Seattle Homeschooling for Beginners.(bit.ly/2fLD42)
One of my best friends learned to read at the end of third grade and now has a PhD from UC Berkeley in a subject involving a lot of academic reading and writing. Saying that reading is so important that you are crippling homeschooled kids for life by not making them read early makes about as much sense as saying that healthy sexual adult relationships are so important that every responsible parent makes sure that their child is dating by age 12.
I was a little sympathetic to your position until you said unschoolers were too lazy to make their kids do homework. Much research in the past years has shown that homework actually only has negative effects before high school. It doesn't help kids learn more or better. In fact, it discourages learning for fun, eliminates time for social developemnt and exploring personal interests, and hurts family relationships by making the parents enforcers.
I am a credentialed elementary school teacher, by the way.
I am an unschooling father of 3. It makes no sense to defend unschooling here. You are an idiot.
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