What's going on up there?

Jacob Pring, creator of The POZ Social

The clock strikes 6:54 pm at the Motley Bar in Northwest D.C. and Jacob Pring glances around an almost empty bar with a look of anxiety on his face. “I’m a stickler for people being on time, ” says the party promoter who is serving as guest bartender. “If it starts at 7 o’clock, ya know, you should be here before then.” Jacob is impatiently waiting for his DJ to arrive although the music generated by the videos in the background already created a loose, celebratory atmosphere. At last, C.W., the guest disc jockey for the night, arrives with his partner in tow complaining of the traffic. He briskly walks past the bar lugging his equipment. “She’s coming from Baltimore too and she got here in time,” Jacob playfully refers to the Examiner reporter sitting three stools down from a lonely patron. Jacob is teasing C.W. but his vision is clear: we have a social to host so let’s go.

This is not your typical happy hour social. And it is not quite an old-fashioned support group. It is a mixer for gay, positive men in D.C. Why does such a mixer need to exist? Jacob Nathaniel Pring created such a mixer to help ease the tension when one must disclose his status to a potential partner. It’s POZ night on this sublimely frigid Tuesday and it’s been going on now for six weeks. Chris, a regular patron, shares “It’s hard. You have two or three amazing dates and then you have to come to them and say ‘I have something to tell you’. At least here you don’t have to be so dramatic”. The Motley Bar, which is located above the EFN lounge east of Logan Circle, serves as a community room for this social to occur. It is set up for not only for HIV positive men but HIV negative men, friends, supporters, and anyone who just wants to have fun on a Tuesday night. Cale Shah is Jacob’s friend and fellow promoter. He is HIV negative. He says he is at ease at the social and gladly supports the cause. "It sucks to go out on Tuesday nights but I’ve learned a lot from Jacob. This is a place for people to feel comfortable”.

The men come in one by one or in groups of three and suddenly the place lights up with at least 25 to 30 patrons talking, laughing, and drinking. They graciously and unashamedly share their stories of how they found out about their status. They talk about how their families have dealt with their status and about how difficult it is to meet someone. They flirtatiously support one another while sharing their triumphs and woes. And the drinks just keep on flowing. Jacob knows some of their stories already but not all. He is seemingly blown away when one anonymous patron shared that he contracted HIV from a nurse in a doctor’s office. “She had a dirty needle and she injected six guys with that same needle. I didn’t find out until I got a high fever on a trip to Italy. When I landed my temp was like 105 degrees. The doctor thought it was strep throat but looking back on it now it probably thrush.” Dolefulstories, like that one, are common but they don’t kill the buzz in the room.

POZ night shines a hopeful light on a positive diagnosis. Many of the supporters are negative but are educated enough to look past the stigma and enjoy the company of good friends and neighbors regardless. Jacob says, “Everyone [here] is just so happy. The energy is good.” Jacob has been positive for six years after receiving his diagnosis over the phone. He is in good standing with his mother and two sisters but is estranged from his father and brother. But none of that has deterred him from starting this social or from continuing his quest to spice up the gay nightlife in D.C. The Motley has karaoke also called “Know it or Blow it” and Wet and Wild Wednesdays. POZ nights are sponsored by the DC Center.  As for Jacob, positive doesn’t just describe his HIV status. It also describes his attitude. He describes the gay community as being supportive in D.C. “I have great friends here. So I’m paying it forward.”

For more info about the Motley Bar go to www.efnlounge.com

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