Chillin' with my sexy dental exam mouth thingy.

Laid off? No more employer or state sponsored insurance?  Too cheap to buy low-cost dental work but that sweet tooth need some TLC?  What better than to qualify to be an exam patient for national dental exam boards at University of Pacific Dental School!  Not only did I receive a FREE checkup, full mouth x-ray, and a filling, I was also fed Costco pizza and walked away with $100 dollars as compensation for my time by the student dentist that worked on me!

I kid you not.  It was a good day last Saturday when I spent about 2 hours wearing an outrageously embarrassing mouth dam to isolate the problem teeth for the examinee and veteran dentist judges to poke and prod at my royal charms. But it was all worth it.  Not only did I get free dental work, but I got paid to endure it!  Although, the road there was not quite easy.  This is a story of aspiration and how persistence pays off.

Two weeks ago, I replied to a Craigslist ad in the FREE section (where I normally peruse through now-a-days instead of Missed Connection) looking for qualified exam patients and promising $100 on top of free dental care.  There were several of these, some offering as little as an electric toothbrush to other more eye-popping offers like $200.  The catch is that the patient has to qualify for either a filling or for a deep cleaning without rotten or missing teeth to start (they also screen out those with severe medical problems) so the patients they seek are fairly narrow in category.  Plus, the patient will have to be willing to endure 3-4 hours of nervous student dentists drilling and poking at you without the guarantee of a passing job.  For $100, I'm totally game!

I was denied twice before I was able to qualify for a cavity fill.  The first time, the student just didn't know what she was doing.  Although, she insisted I call her "doctor" (prematurely), she was far from professional. But I simply got back on Craigslist and responded to another ad.  The second time, I swear, I got "Dr. Hottie" and made me think that a whole new generation of dentists are also required to look like models after meeting the rest of the students taking the exams.  Although she screened me for a filling but got me qualified for a cleaning, she still wanted to help me and her other graduating classmates so she referred me as a cleaning exam patient to her friend, Jeremy Bauer.

Jeremy Bauer was the one who I ended up receiving the work from and, I must say here, that he did an incredible job!  He was quick and better than most dentists I've gone to in the past, duly because he needs to be in order to pass.  I definitely clique and respect this guy.  Asking him of his background while doing my full mouth x-ray, I found out that he's from Utah, married with 3 kids (although he looks like 23--from Utah? Maybe he is!), and serves in the US Army, who paid his way through school and will put him to work right away after graduating as a dentist for our troops and raising his rank to Captain! Wow!

On the day of the exam, I was fed and prepped with a mouth dam that made me look like a twisted muppet from hell, but I didn't mind, especially since Jeremy Bauer and his assistant named Rad (not kidding) injected me with all sorts of medi-caine. The procedure was quicker and smoother than I expected and I became quite popular amongst the veteran dentist judges who were all very funny and seem to have gotten a kick out of my positive attitude and humorous outlook. By the end, we were all smiles and Dr. Captain handed me an envelope of appreciation that sent me out with a brighter grin knowing that our troops will be taken care of and dentist chicks are uber hot.

I put on my headphones as I walked out and this was the first song that played: