Thanksgiving is just a few days away and while there’s no denying the feast many of us will enjoy is a central part of the celebration, we often overlook the day’s true purpose: being thankful. It’s so easy to get caught up in the production, and achieving the myth of perfection when we entertain. We hold ourselves to ridiculous standards, and for what? Chances are you guests don’t really mind, and probably won’t even notice, if everything isn’t just so. Here are a few tips to help you get through the day.

Be present. This year, take a few moments and really take notice of what's happening around you. Is it a house full of relatives, eager to share the day together? Or do you focus on empty chairs, and thoughts of regret over those who aren’t there? Do you take time to tell your loved ones that they are loved? Or do you just assume that they know how you feel? What you don’t say is sometimes more telling than what you do say.

Never dwell on the negative. Most people are finding that finances are tight. Instead of worrying about what you don’t have, take time to think about what you do have. Maybe expensive china plates and crystal goblets would look nice on your table, but they don’t make the food or drink taste any better. There’s never been a rule that says you have to spend a lot to have a good time. Take pleasure in the company you’re with, listen to your tablemates’ conversation, share what’s on your mind, and realize that in the grand scheme of things, the table setting isn’t the most important part of the day.

Appreciate your crazy, chaotic life for what it is. Yes, noisy kids while you’re trying to read a recipe can be irritating, but aren’t there plenty of times when you are caught up in their energy, and touched by their sense of awe over the simplest things? You may think your grandfather’s stories about growing up poor are boring after you’ve heard them repeatedly, but there will surely be a Thanksgiving when he is no longer there to tell them, and you will wish he was. And those challenges you have faced this year? They’re not a burden, really. They’re giving you the opportunity to grow and become stronger, so embrace them.

Perfection is overrated. This year, give yourself permission to relax a bit and not go over the deep end putting together a complicated meal, then feeling like no one appreciates it, and then feeling resentful as you clean the dishes. None of that is conducive to good health. Keep it simple and not only will you enjoy the day a lot more, but your guests will, too. Go around the dinner table and have each person say one thing they are thankful for. It’s a great way to start conversation and connect with family and friends in a more meaningful way. And after all, isn’t that what the Thanksgiving feast should be about?

What are you thankful for? Please share in the comments.