Wednesday night in Thousand Oaks, California, 65-year-old Bill Rice, an ObamaCare protestor, had his pinky finger bitten off by an ObamaCare supporter at a health reform rally sponsored by MoveOn.Org. The details of this incident depend on whether to believe what MoveOn reports or what eyewitnesses who were standing right there and who came to the immediate aid of the injured man say.
Nevertheless, there are clear facts that may provide clues to what really happened. First the incident happened on the ObamaCare protestors’ side of the street. Second, as reported by MoveOn, the old man punched the ObamaCare supporter "hard" and then waved his finger defiantly in the victim’s face, at which point, the victim bit it off. Last, it was the pinky that was bitten off
Regardless of who to believe, does this incident herald an escalation of tactics in the war over ObamaCare by either side? Could it be that Aetna or some other health insurer or maybe Fox News organized hoards of senior citizens, trained them to lure ObamaCare supporters into their midst at health reform rallies or town hall meetings and then punch them "hard" and wave pinky fingers defiantly in their faces? If so, this represents a serious escalation worthy of an episode on South Park.
Or, perhaps Pelosi, Reed, Frank and others have secretly amassed the civilian army of which Obama spoke during the campaign? Composed of disaffected ACORN members or maybe even ex-Black Liberation Army special forces, its mission is to infiltrate astroturfers in the guise of anti ObamaCare forces at rallies and town hall meetings, target the senior citizens among them who they determine pose the greatest threats, provoke them by getting into their faces and shouting, “Why are you against the government option – are you a racist or something?” and, as soon as one of them raises a pinky to strike back, bite it off. If this is the case, then just as June 30, 1934 will always be remembered as the Night of the Long Knives, so too will September 2, 2009 be remembered as the Night of the Long Teeth.
But seriously though; the man got his pinky bitten off and this raises medical questions about what you should do if you are a senior citizen at a ObamaCare rally and an ObamaCare supporter gets in your face, calls you a racist and bites off your pinky finger. There are 8 simple rules:
- First and foremost – stay calm. You are surrounded by friends; they will help you. Whatever else you may do – don’t punch the guy with the injured hand – remember your finger was just bitten off and it will hurt like stink if you do.
- Don’t chase the guy; your friends will do that, but try to find the finger. Likely, he spat it out and it will be within a 20-foot perimeter in the direction he was running. If your friends catch him and the finger is still in his mouth or, worse yet, he swallowed it, you’re out of luck because under these conditions the finger cannot be transplanted.
- If the finger is found within that 20-foot perimeter, soak it in sterile saline, pack it in ice and bring it with you to the hospital.
- Make sure you have your Medicare card with you; in fact, under these new circumstances, never go to an ObamaCare rally or town hall meeting without one.
- When you get to the hospital, make sure you get a tetanus shot. If you haven’t had one within 10 years, Medicare will pay for it.
- Should you have rabies shots? That depends on whether or not they catch the guy. If they catch him, after they decapitate him and examine the brain, if there is no evidence of rabies, you don’t need the shots. If, however, they don’t catch him, most certainly you should have the rabies shots because only a mad animal will bite your finger off.
- Can you have your finger transplanted? That really depends on your quality adjusted life years. You’re over sixty five, you have some chronic illness, a little diabetes, a little hypertension, a little peripheral vascular disease – you led a good life and it's only a pinky – take the pain pill.
- Finally, while you’re at the hospital, you might want to get your end-of-life counseling and make sure you sign the advanced directive before you leave.
What happens if they catch this guy and he could prove that he doesn’t have rabies? Maybe President Obama could have both of you over for some beer in the Rose Garden to work things out. After all, he did call you a racist and this is a teachable moment.
Comments
Is this web site for serious reporting, or telling jokes?
I agree with Rich. You're putting the men to shame by this crap article. Have a real reporter on the job.
How about don't punch people expecting to get away with it?
Then call a government paramedic and ride on the government highway to the public hospital. Send the bill to your government insurance (Medicare). Don't worry, you're entitled to it. Then go back just to make sure nobody else keeps a piece of that government insurance.
People are fighting to keep the 23rd ranked of 23 health care systems. Amazing!
Liberals.
That's all you really have to say isn't it? Anything is ok as long as a Liberal does it? Isn't that right? Crossing a street? Confronting a group? Starting a fight? BITING SOMEBODIES FINGER OFF?
It's all justified if a Liberal does it.
Reality check: Liberals are stark raving out of their minds and trying to foist a disaster on everybody else. Just like they always do. This is why you never, ever, ever vote Democrat.
And the nosediving poll numbers of Democrats show that the rest of the country is coming around to this fact.
Your Not a reporter your a liberal commi. Were you there? I heard a live report from the guy who found the finger and turned it in at the hospital. The Liberal Communist came across the road, crossed a median and started harassing the protesters. I know men who gave their lives to stop this Social mess from happening on foreign shores and here at home. You spit in their face and on their graves. He's lucky it wasn't me It wouldn't have just been a fist that would be flying at his head.
Guy punched him twice. Punch me, and your finger ends up in my mouth, you bet your ass I'm going to take it off for you.
the un-american finger biters" goverment funded rally around obama cares? obama hussein elinination care? savings seniors baby boomers! priority goverment controled health care. SUNDAY FREE PRESS HEAD LINES LIFE AND DEATH confronting questions? end of life care! also violent cons" release fought! obama preaching to our school children? EDUCATION" appointee chicago public schools arne duncan" say's presidents have been doing same thing since 1991 talking to students?? results from this education of public correct live today failure? move on goons bite off finger of protester against goverment run health care wow! health care where americans pay the highest in health care in the world? cutting cost is in end-of life care? not them pills? illegal immigrants care? cost over 7000 per person health care? millions of added cost across our open borders nation? priority cost? how many americans out of work? states cutting cost releasing violent criminals joining move on saber tooth PANTHERS?
"How about don't punch people expecting to get away with it?"
It's very likely Rice was simply defending himself; a much larger, younger man was getting an inch or two from his face. In those circumstances, it's a judgment call. In retrospect, it was probably the right thing to do. A guy that willing to bite off an appendage could have done anything.
"Guy punched him twice. Punch me, and your finger ends up in my mouth, you bet your ass I'm going to take it off for you."
Could you provide front and side face shots of yourself? I'd like to keep you away from children and the elderly.
"I agree with Rich. You're putting the men to shame by this crap article. Have a real reporter on the job. "
Um... you do know that this is essentially a blog site... right?
Got something to say?
Examiner.com is looking for writers, photographers, and videographers to join the fastest growing group of local insiders. If you are interested in growing your online rep apply to be an Examiner today!