Only moderation works to decrease
inebriation and hangovers. (GSA)

Dec. 10--Give a drunk some coffee, and what do you get?

A wide-awake drunk.

Researchers from Temple University--perhaps unnecessarily--put the proof to this old saw by administering alcohol, caffeine, caffeine and alcohol or a saline solution to mice and running the variously inebriated, wired and sober rodents through a maze.

Thomas Gould, who led the research published this week in the journal Behavioral Neuroscience, explained that only the mice receiving saline consistently learned to navigate the maze without entering sections where they triggered lights bright enough to hurt their eyes or sounds loud enough to scare them. The mice with both alcohol and caffeine coursing through their murine veins performed as badly as did the mice who were just drunk.

The difference was that the wired mice did badly more quickly.

Gould noted in a press release that his and his colleague Danielle Gulick's findings provided important lessons for human topers, who increasingly opt for caffeine-infused alcoholic beverages. Whether capping the night with a traditional Irish coffee, kick-starting a debauch with a Joose can or three or downing Red Bull and vodkas like soda pop, "the co-use of caffeine and alcohol could actually lead to poor decisions with disastrous outcomes," Gould said. "People who have consumed both alcohol and caffeine may feel awake and competent enough to handle potentially harmful situations, such as driving while intoxicated or placing themselves in dangerous social situations.”

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration in mid-November required makers of alcoholic beverages containing caffeine to submit evidence that the premixed drinks were safe. Companies have a deadline of Dec. 13 for providing their data.

In the midst of the holiday party season and barreling down on New Year's Eve, when many people who never drink actually do drink, hosts, bartenders and inebriates themselves need to heed the lessons from Gould and Gulick' mice. Neither a cup nor a pot of coffee will sober anyone up enough to allow them to get behind the wheel. And one too many mudslides can lead to regrettable actions a person will remember in the morning.

"The bottom line is that, despite the appeal of being able to stay up all night and drink, all evidence points to serious risks associated with caffeine-alcohol combinations," Gould said.