For the love of BCS Champ Tebow, why do announcers force you to invoke the power of the mute button?

Tim Tebow, in all his benevolent glory, celebrates another Florida title, questionable tho' it is. As the announcers turned the game into a Tebow love fest, the Gators slowly but surely took the Sooners out, 24-14. (AP Photo/Mark Humphrey)
 

Okay, I was looking forward to an awesome BCS Championship Game. I wanted—no, I expected—a game where I could cheer at Oklahoma touchdowns, screech at anything positive Florida accomplished and, in the end, honestly, I expected Florida to come out on top. Well, Florida did come out on top—I got that right. But, with the two highest-scoring teams in college football, I expected some points—real points. Well, some may argue that, with the two, ahem, strongest teams in college football facing each other, a high scoring game shouldn't be expected. But, whatever the case, I got so bored, I fell asleep just as the third quarter kicked in.

But, it wasn’t just the boring game that made me lose the will to keep watching. It was the announcers, particularly Thom Brennaman, turning the night into a Tim Tebow love fest.

Look, I am no Gators fan, to be sure, but I got so sick of hearing about the superhuman strengths and attributes of Tim Tebow, I was ready to barf. Watching the “glories of Tim Tebow” footage before the game, I had to laugh—how much did they pay those hardened convicts to say that meeting a 21-year-old quarterback has shown them the path to self-discovery? And, seriously, I think Brennaman has a deep-seeded Tim Tebow complex. I mean, does he really believe that spending 20 minutes with Tebow will change your life? Has it changed his? Well, he sounded like he had experienced some profound personal revelation in the presence of Tebow’s aura, so I guess it has. But, honestly, it was beginning to sound so much like a pitch for a religious infomercial in the announcers’ box, I was waiting to find out where I could send the check that would change my life.

If Brennaman and partner Charles Davis had kept their minds off of the glories of Tim Tebow and on the game, maybe they could have kept up with the downs. Am I the only one who found herself laughing at Fox’s high-paid professionals as they feverishly discussed going for it on fourth-down—then discussing it again, even more excitedly, when it was really fourth-down, never seeming to get that feeling of deja-vu that was creeping over the rest of us? And, they didn’t seem to miss a beat until after the commercial, during which someone must have said, “Um, guys . . . .” They came back from commercial, apologized, and discussed their lack of understanding of the downs in front of them—what a mess.

Oh, but, you know, sleeping tho’ I was through the real-time event, I did see an interesting replay early this morning. It was, of course, Brennaman gushing over Tim Tebow. The beyond-perfect Mr. Tebow had received an unsportsmanlike conduct call for taunting—fine example for young fans everywhere—and Brennaman lovingly defended him, stating that it could possibly be the first mistake the uncompromising Tebow has ever made.

Hmmmmm.

Brennaman may actually have a statue of Tebow on his prayer mantel at home.

Scary.

I suppose it will be his deity-like benevolence that will keep Tebow at Florida, instead of ungratefully jumping to the NFL, like his counterpart, UGA quarterback Matthew Stafford. Well, either that, or the fact that he knows, as well as anybody, that, unless his style changes, he isn’t going to be a quarterback in the NFL. Amazed tho’ Brennaman may be by Tebow’s ability to “drop his shoulder and plow over defenders,” that doesn’t play with the big boys. Literally, the BIG boys. The NFL doesn’t give quarterbacks millions to have them go out and get slammed playing running back. The NFL wants a leader who can stay in the pocket and get the ball down field. And, unfortunately for Brennaman, that is not Tim Tebow.

But, that’s okay—he could be an awesome tight end for somebody. So, if he doesn’t get hurt as he hangs around for his senior year, lowering his shoulder and plowing over defenders, he will go to the NFL, and he will go high, tho’, maybe not in the first round. He will probably go as an “athlete” instead of a “quarterback.” And, he probably won’t get the money Stafford will get this year. But, that’s okay, too—how much money, after all, does a swell guy like Tim Tebow need, anyway? And, “big” money is relative—a couple million would serve me just fine, I think, if that was, ahem, “all” I could get.

Tim Tebow may well be a great guy—I don’t know, I’ve never met him. But, people like Brennaman do not do him any favors by trying to make him into a beyond-human savior of the people. Announcers are there to talk about the game, not make documentaries about their crushes on specific players. And, you know, when they are so lost in their hero worship that they cannot even keep up with the downs on the field, it’s time for some reevaluation of why they are in the box at all.

In the meantime, I have a mute button, thank Tebow.