Top 10 Geek Christmas DVDs

What's with the giant tuning fork, Boba?

Merry Christmas all you geeks in Movieland! This Top Ten Christmas DVD list is for geeks only! I'm serious.The dictionary defines a "geek" as being "a person with eccentric devotion to a particular interest: a computer geek." So, now you know who you are. Take this list with a grain of salt but believe me, these movies are guaranteed to please the inner geek in you! And they're all full of Christmas cheer too! I would have had a Top Twelve Geek Christmas DVD list but they never made that 'Batman Christmas Special' or the 'Christmas with the Thundercats' movie I dreamed about as a kid. Happy viewing, geeks!

10. Christmas with Gumby (Episodes from 1956-1967) (DVD - 2003)
This collection of classic Gumby claymation features four Christmas-themed episodes from the television series featuring Gumby and his horse-friend, Pokey. "Scrooge Loose", "Santa-Witch", "Pigeon in a Plum Tree", and "Toy Crazy/Toy Joy" will bring you back to a time before fancy computer animation and special effects. The scene index mistakenly lists three of the four episodes as "Christmas Carol", "Unusual Stories", and "Gumbasia". What do you expect for less than six bucks? The back of the DVD states that "This video is not authorized by Clokey Productions". The reason being because these episodes were released into the public domain. As a result, there are no title credits and the original theme song is absent. Gumby fans will revel in the fact that the original character voices as well as the original soundtrack have been preserved. Other Gumby DVD releases feature an "updated" 80s soundtrack and different a voice actor for the talented, little, green guy. GoodTimes Video. Amazon.com: $5.98. Run Time: 31 minutes. Not Rated.

9. Pee-Wee's Playhouse Christmas Special (1988) (DVD - 2004)
This has got to be one of the craziest Christmas specials ever from one of the most outrageous TV series ever! The opening scene has Pee-wee and the entire United States Marine singers doing a musical number, "It's Christmas in the Playhouse"! The story goes like this. Because Pee-wee's Christmas wish list is so huge there won't be enough presents for the rest of the world's kids if he gets everything! Santa Claus freaks out and begs Pee-Wee's friends to talk some sense into him! A reluctant Pee-wee finally gets a lesson in the true meaning of Christmas. Don't be greedy, kids! Guest stars include: Frankie Avalon, Whoopi Goldberg, Joan Rivers, Charo, The Del Rubio Triplets, Annette Funicello, Magic Johnson, Dinah Shore, Grace Jones, Oprah Winfrey, k.d. lang, Little Richard, and Zsa Zsa Gabor. Image Entertainment. Amazon.com: $4.99. Run Time: 49 minutes. Not Rated.

8. He-Man & She-Ra: A Christmas Special (1984) (DVD - 2005)
Dig this. Orko accidentally crash lands Man-At-Arms' Sky Spy Satellite on Earth right before Christmas. While there, he meets two children who tell him stories about what the holiday season means to them. The three return to Eternia via the satellite and once there begin to spread stories of the holiday spirit to the entire Eternian Royal Palace. All this talk of "good will towards men" attracts the attention of Hordak and Skeletor. They decide to kidnap the Earth Children in order to impress the super-evil-entity known as Horde Prime. Oh, no! How will He-Man and She-Ra save the spirit of Christmas on Eternia!? Buy this incredibly cheesy but entertaining piece of 80s cartoon-fun and find out! BCI / Eclipse. Amazon.com: $11.49. Run Time: 51 minutes. Not Rated.

7. Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas (1977) (DVD - 2008)
The story revolves around Emmet Otter and his Ma. The two barely scrape by on the small amount of money generated by the various odd jobs Emmet does around their home town of Frogtown Hollow and by the laundry Ma toils over for her few local customers. As Christmas-time nears, they hear of a talent contest in the nearby town of Waterville. Each plan on buying each other a special Christmas present with the prize money. Ma is going to sing a song acapela and Emmet's jug-band plans on playing their rendition of a song called "Bar-B-que". Unfortunately, both lose out to the River Bottom Nightmare Band, a grungy, group of Rock 'N' Roll ruffians from the distant town of River bottom. Feeling down and out Ma and Emmet take comfort in each other's company by singing a duet together. Doc Bullfrog overhears their song and hires them both on the spot to be the singing talent in his local restaurant! This little story presents some big morals that audiences can really relate to especially in today's hard times. This one is definitely considered to be a modern day Christmas classic. Lyons / HIT Entertainment. Amazon.com: $9.99. Run Time: 50 minutes. Not Rated.

A quick note about the TWO versions of this feature. During the early 1980s, the ABC Network Television aired a version that was narrated by Kermit the Frog. Kermit was added by ABC in order to gain mass appeal. He also made a brief appearance as an audience member during the talent show scene. The original 1977 HBO special NEVER featured Kermit. The DVD releases DO NOT feature Kermit's narration nor his appearance. Additional scenes and songs were also edited out, which has pissed-off many Emmet Otter purists. The "Kermit Version" can be found on Amazon.com in VHS tape format. This version will undoubtedly remain unavailable on DVD due to legal issues. The Jim Henson Company sold the rights to the Muppets, including Kermit, to the Walt Disney Company about four years ago. Damn you Mickey Mouse! Damn you straight to Heck!

6. A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965) (Remastered Deluxe Edition DVD - 2008)
What would Christmas-time be like without the annual airing of A Charlie Brown Christmas? Not like Christmas-time at all! Charlie Brown has a come down with "the holiday blues". No one sends him a Christmas card, his dog Snoopy is too busy decorating his dog house for the neighborhood lights and display contest, and his sister Sally sends him over the edge when she writes Santa Claus asking him to "just send money". Good ol' Chuck is frustrated further when the kids want to commercialize the Christmas pageant with modern song and dance numbers! It's blasphemy Charlie Brown! In reaction, Charlie decides the play needs more of "the Christmas feel" and sets out to find the perfect "real" tree amidst a sea of glitzy, fake, aluminum creations. When he returns with little more than a branch, he gets the usual scolding by Lucy and the gang. Linus, knowing that Charlie Brown is the wiser reminds everyone why we celebrate Christmas by reciting the second chapter of the Gospel of Luke. Everyone, realizing they were wrong, decorate the tree with lights and decorations from Snoopy's dog house. When a puzzled Chuck returns to the auditorium they all exclaim "MERRY CHRISTMAS, CHARLIE BROWN!" and begin to sing "Hark the Herald Angels Sing." Features the amazing Jazz score of Vince Guaraldi. This one cannot be missed. The Remastered Deluxe Edition features improved Audio and Video, the Making of A Charlie Brown Christmas and also includes "It's Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown" (1992). This collection of Christmas-themed shorts is based on Schulz's original Peanut's comic strips. Warner Home Video. Amazon.com: $13.99. Run Time: 25 minutes. Not Rated.

5. Elf (2003) (INFINIFILM Two-Disc DVD Set - 2004)
On Christmas Eve, a long time ago, a baby orphan crawls into Santa's bag of gifts and gets carried away to the North Pole! The infant, Buddy, is raised by Papa Elf but he soon realises that he doesn't quite seem to fit in with the other elves. He yearns to find where he truly belongs and seeks out his real father in New York City! Buddy's learns the hard way that the Big Apple is seriously lacking in the Spirit of Christmas. He's helped out by his new love interest, a department store elf, who just might teach Buddy's Dad and the rest of the city that Santa Claus is real! "SANTAAAAA!!! OH MY GODDDDD!!!" New Line Home Entertainment. Amazon.com: $13.99. Run Time: 95 minutes. Rated PG.

This INIFIFILM set features two discs filled with EXTRA Holiday Goodness: Widescreen and Fullscreen versions, four Holiday Featurettes, four games, Elf Karaoke, a Read-Along Story Book, and a ton of DVD-ROM content (DVD-ROM content for Microsoft Windows PCs only! The elves at New Line Home Entertainment don't seem to care about us Mac users. Bah-Humbug!)

4. Babes in Toyland (1934) re-released as March of the Wooden Soldiers (1948) (DVD - 2008)
This classic film takes place in Toyland and stars Stan Laurel as Stannie Dum and Oliver Hardy as Ollie Dee. The two brothers live in a shoe with Mother Peep, Little Bo Peep, dozens of other children, and a rather large mouse. The shoe is unfortunately being foreclosed on by their evil landlord Silas Barnaby. Stannie and Ollie attempt to ask their boss, The Toymaker , for the money to pay off the mortgage. But Stannie screws up an order from Santa Claus himself! They were supposed to make 600 hundred one foot tall wooden soldiers. Instead, the two nitwits built 100 six foot tall wooden soldiers! And one of them completely trashes the toyshop! The two get fired and now Bo Peep has to marry Barnaby in order to keep the shoe. Stannie and Ollie hatch another plan. They trick Barnaby into marrying Stanley Dum dressed up as Bo Peep! The plan works, sort of… The mortgage is torn up but Barnaby is engraged. He decides to frame Bo Peep's true love, Tom, Tom, the Piper's Son and then let's lose the Bogeymen from their caverns in Bogeyland! Will Stannie and Ollie save their beloved Toyland and defeat Barnaby and the Bogeymen for good?! Make sure you buy the Black and White version and not the ridiculous "Colored" version to find out! MGM Video. Amazon.com: $13.49. Run Time: 77 minutes. Not Rated.

3. A Christmas Story (1983) (Two-Disc Special Edition-2003)
Peter Billingsly stars as Ralphie Parker a nine-year-old boy, living in rural Indiana during the 1940s, who will do anything to obtain his ultimate Christmas present, an official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle! Ralphie is determined to get that gun despite the fact that every adult, including Santa Claus, keeps exclaiming to him that "You'll shoot your eye out!" While waiting impatiently until December 25th, Ralphie writes a long, proud essay about his dream present, beats the crap outta Scott Farkus, the neigborhood bully, has his mouth washed out with soap for saying "the mother of all dirty words", witnesses his father's obsession with a plastic, female leg lamp, and is forced to model a full-blown, pink bunny suit on Christmas morning! I hope that Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle is under that Christmas tree, Ralphie! I really do! Warner Home Video. Amazon.com: $13.99. Run Time: 94 minutes. Rated PG.

2. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) (Two-Disc Collector's Edition + Digital Copy - 2008)
From the adorably-creepy mind of Tim Burton comes his twisted take on a Christmas story! Dreamed up in a poem during his time as an animator at Disney, The Nightmare Before Christmas makes number two on my Christmas Geek list. Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King of Halloween Town is terribly bored with the same old trick-or-treat routine of Halloween. Jack strives to do something different this year. When he stumbles upon a portal to "Christmas Town" he suddenly becomes obsessed with this strange, new holiday. Jack chooses to mix all the Halloween fun that he and the macabre townsfolk know with his new found Christmas obessesion. In the ensuing mayhem, Santa Claus is kidnapped and falls into the hands of the infamous villain Oogie Boogie! Can Christmas ever be saved and returned to normal!? The film features an amazing collection of fun and original musical numbers as well as the brilliantly-haunting musical score by ex-Oingo Boingo frontman, Danny Elfman. The film had a crew of two hundred workers in order to complete this stop-motion masterpiece! Walt Disney Home Studios Entertainment. Amazon.com: $20.99. Run Time: 76 minutes. Rated PG.

This Two-Disc Collector's Edition actually features three discs! A Digitally Restored version of the film, the Bonus Features, and the third disc contains the Disney File Digital Copy. This new technology allows you to download the movie to your iPod for viewing! (PC and Macintosh compatible. YES! They didn't leave us Mac users out this time!)

1. Star Wars Holiday Special (1978) (Bootleg DVD - ?)
Drum roll please… And now, the number Geek Christmas DVD is… The infamous Star Wars Holiday Special! The special aired only once in the United States on Friday, November 17, 1978 on the CBS Television Network. The special first introduced audiences to the three members of Chewbacca's family: his wife Mallatobuck (Malla), his father Attichitcuk (Itchy), and his son Lumpawarrump (Lumpy).

The main plot goes something like this: Chewbacca is on his way home to see his family and to celebrate Life Day (the Wookie version of Christmas) accompanied by his friend, Han Solo. After departing Tatooine in the Millennium Falcon, the two smugglers are chased by a squadron of Imperial Star Destroyers. Han frantically sets the controls of the Falcon and sends the ship off into hyperspace! They escape capture, for now. The remainder of the special features a series of musical numbers, songs, and comedy routines performed by some well known celebrities of the day. These included Diahann Carroll, Art Carney, Harvey Korman, Bea Arthur and the Jefferson Starship. In one of the segments, an animated cartoon featuring the debut of the bounty hunter Boba Fett is shown. To many Star Wars fans, this is the special's only saving grace. In the end, Chewie is eventually reunited with his family and friends including Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, R2-D2 and C-3P0! Leia even sings a song, "A Day to Celebrate" to a packed crowd of Wookies wearing red robes!? Weird. Despite all the corniness, this rare Christmas special is still quite entertaining but only recommended for true Star Wars fans. Currently, only available as a bootleg DVD on the internet. Various bootleg copies. ebay: $9.99 – $20.00. Run Time: 120 minutes. Not Rated.