Pamela Hill - Soul Tears

Pamela Hill’s oil paintings are an unusual, almost Goth style with dark undertones and mysterious overtones. Usually, oil paints are made with a pigment mixed in linseed oil. If I hadn’t seen Pamela’s studio myself, I would have guessed she mixed her paint using dust from her childhood as the pigment and tears from her soul instead of linseed oil. Many of her works have layer upon layer of meaning, draw from her childhood and life. Unlike many “good” citizens of the world, Pam is not afraid to bare her dark side to the light. For example, instead of allowing the wounds from her mother to continue to fester, she brings them forth into the light where they are shown to be fierce things that can only be tamed by staring them down. She freely admits that her art began and continues to be therapy for herself, begging the question: What can this art mean to anyone else? To some it will mean absolutely nothing, but to others it can mean everything.

For example, Pam never intended to sell the painting titled “The Key,” but displayed it at a recent show. However, one young woman broke into tears as she examined it and Pam couldn’t refuse.  The painting, titled “The Key” is a representation of how Pam was trapped by her mother, always searching for the key to her affection, never realizing that it was out reach. The mother-daughter relationship is complex and slightly different for everyone. Pam identified with this young woman’s pain so strongly that she felt she had no choice but to let go. As she watched “The Key” leave her life, she felt as if she were closing the door on an old pain and moving forward. She hopes that someday that young woman will be able to do the same and would rather touch someone’s soul than paint a pretty picture.

Artists are thought to be free and open minded, or at least that is the stereotype. However, Pam often finds herself the target of the eternal cut-its-head-off-and-paint-it-black joke by fellow artists, who are perhaps intimidated by the bravery that Pam shows as she explores her fears, sorrows and scars. It’s easier to make a joke, break the tension, than it is to examine a disconcerting image and see it how close it comes to their own truth. Here are a few paintings for you examine to see if you can find a piece of your story.

The Red Shoes is a study of the dark side of the Catholic Church, where the three dolls, possessively clutched in the girl’s arms, represent Jesus, the lost and the saved. Her smug expression tells you that they are her and only hers. Her knees are bandaged from hours of kneeling and her shoes, red from the blood from persecution and holy wars, are reminiscent of Dorothy in Oz and the fantasy that the church is selling.

 Introspective Whispers (right) is a family portrait. Pam has put her father on her own level, because she has come to terms with their past relationship. Her mother and sisters are clutched tightly in young Pam’s arms as a three headed doll that return no love and has no soul.

Broken Doll is representative of so many women of our day, reduced to an inanimate object, cracked with abuse, ring finger torn away, heart-broken and labeled.

Agoraphobia Pam suffered from agoraphobia most of her life and knows the subject of this painting intimately. She portrays her subject on a stage with a faux outdoor background, where she will never go in real life. Within her skirt are butterflies, trapped indoors, while she distractedly shreds her own wings. 

Bird of Prey depicts a woman who is insecure and has no self worth unless there is a man in her life. This man-eater goes through man after man, destroying them when she is finished.

Want to see Pam’s work in person and meet her? Come to the one night only show at the Red Tavern

See more pictures in the Slide Show!

One-night-only event
Where: Red Star Tavern at Towncenter in Virginia Beach
When: Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Where to find Pamela Hill’s Art
Website: www.dzaet.com