Permission by owner - Melissa and Gabe

Melissa, tell us about yourself and why you decided to be a stay at home mom.

Melissa: I am a wife and mother to three girls and a baby boy.  I work at being a mom and then I do stuff to try to help out financially, like my art work and jewelry on etsy.com. 

I guess part of my decision to be a stay home mom could be considered "frugal".  After I lost my first child I went back to work but only part time.  I made about $600. a month so my help with the bills was very minimum, plus I was miserable; I was supposed to be at home with a baby but was not and I was moved from the warehouse, where I did lots of walking, to a cubicle farm in the customer service department of the company that I worked for.  I am not customer service material.  I was originally just supposed to help them catch up but I must have done too good of a job because I got stuck there.  After a year of being in customer service, (but no one actually teaching me how to do it because I was only in the office two days a week),  I told (Gabe my husband) I was miserable and he said I could quit if I took over the budget. 

Before we were married I tried to teach him how to budget because he was so bad with it that he had to keep hawking his bass guitar and afterward we split the responsibility and his half was often late.  We found that after I quit we could no longer  buy some extra things or presents for each other as readily but all our bills were paid on time.  In that time period we also learned to eat more healthy. 

We started out buying everything boxed, bagged, and pre-made and it cost us about $100.00 a week just for the two of us.  But by eating healthy and exercising we not only feel better but saved money.  True, a bag of chips may cost less than a bag of apples, but a bag of apples can last 3-4 times longer and they still have the satisfying crunch your're looking for.

It wasn't until a few months later that I became pregnant with my eldest daughter and of course I would be a stay home mom.  The #1 reason I wanted to stay home was because I wanted to be the one spending the most time with my children.  I wanted to care for them and know them better than anyone.  The other reason would have been that, if I had to go back to work, I would have to pay a baby sitter, a cheap sitter would be $125.00 a week, that's $500. per month for one child!  I have four now. 

I am not the most computer savvy person so a conventional job would be limited to what I already know or what I can learn and I would be forced to use the public school system as a babysitter for part of the time.  It just did't seem worth it to me.  To work so hard, away from my children just so I could pay someone else to raise them .  Because of this I've never gone back to a traditional job.  It's been 12 1/2 years now.

Melissa tell us about what you do for work or rather to help out financially.

Melissa:  What I do for work and my business are really two different things.  My work is raising my children and keeping the household running smooth.  Because I do a lot of things from scratch, or by hand so it takes more time.  But it can be time well spent because I have the opportunity to teach my children these skills and spend that time with them.

My business is called Tweedlepox.  It's just a silly name we made up based on my love for Alice in Wonderland and it's still very small.  I started making things for myself or as gifts then tried selling at flea markets and a few craft fairs. I had many pieces in a consignment store in Berthoud for awhile, but that store has since closed.  I had wanted to try the online venue Etsy for quite some time and only just recently opened a shop there.  Tweedlepox.etsy.com is still very small, with only the few pieces I put up and I am moving very slowly on it. 

I also have a blog, Tweedlepox.blogspot.com, that I share recipes and the art I am working on it.  Oh, I would love to be able to sell enough to help out my family financially, but my real "work" always seems more important.  I just recently learned how to take photographs of my pieces (which are primarily jewelry to start, but I also paint, sketch, stamp , sew and use mixed media)  using the computer so I will be able to slowly add more pieces to the shop. 

The thing about having your own business, especially an art business is that you really must spend an inordinate amount of time marketing yourself.  I've talked with several artists and it seems that that's all they do.  Maybe they exaggerate but I've been pretty slow in setting up my business and that is something that I had to come to terms with.  I need to do the more important things first or they won't get done.

What do you practice as a family that helps you live frugally? Do you make much of your own food?  Or do you buy convenience?

Melissa:  I guess living as a frugal family means we all work together toward the same goal.  We all have to develop the same habits or we'd just be fighting against the grain.  We don't buy boxed or canned foods and make most things from scratch.  From buying dry beans www.examiner.com/x-2940-Frugal-Living-Examiner~y2009m2d27-Back-to-Basics-on-Food to making our own cereal (although we do get boxed cereal from the W.I.C. program)www.examiner.com/x-2940-Denver-Frugal-Living-Examiner~y2009m4d12-Medicine-in-a-bowlGood-health-to-you , and buying turkeys in the winter when they are so sale and save them in our big freezer all helps us to live within our means.   When I cook one, we can save some of the extra meat for sandwiches and freeze the rest for soups and casseroles.  We also save the bones in a big pot and fill it with water and simmer this for an hour or two before disposing of the bones and we've got home made broth as well.  I scoop it into baggies putting 1 C. in each and freeze it for later.  Perfect for soups.  This also works well with a whole chicken and can be done in a crock pot. www.examiner.com/x-2940-Frugal-Living-Examiner~y2009m2d21-Teach-a-man-to-fish

I have a thing against boxed treats now.  Fresh baked are so much better and healthier.  Many of the things I started making myself, I did because I wanted a healthier version that fit my families dietary needs better (mostly gluten free) and didn't contain all that unpronounceable junk, in doing so we found that it was usually cheaper too.  With the added bonus that left more room in our budget to buy healthier, hormone free foods. 

We had our milk delivered, it was the same cost as conventional milk $40.00 per month but hormone free.  We don't purchase the other items they offer because the cost is prohibitive.  We also buy hormone free meat, and get  it delivered.  The cost was a little more than conventional but less than store bought organics.  Again we opted out of the extras like frozen veggies, pizzas and pre-made meals, and just stuck with the meat.  This cost us $130.00 per month for seven months and we got about 9 months of meat. 

Our general groceries were $450.00 a month for five people.  This included two big baskets of fruit per week, many organics, fresh baked breads from a local bakery, and all our non-grocery household items, (paper products, cleaners (I make some of them myself), pet food, plants, and other extras including the occasional trip to Sam's club.  That's about $155.00 a week for groceries including many natural and organic, household items and a few extras for a family of five that's pretty good. 

Do you clip coupons?

Melissa: And I don't usually use coupons unless it's definitely something I would normally buy.  Most often they would be used for going out to a restaurant or pizza.  www.examiner.com/x-2940-Frugal-Living-Examiner~y2009m2d9-Coupons  But since I buy very few pre-packaged items the store brand is usually less than name brand even with the coupons.  I gave up trying to save them for the most part.  Since Gabe lost his job grocery shopping has been different  and much cheaper.  www.examiner.com/x-2940-Frugal-Living-Examiner~y2009m2d1-Money-saving-tipsfood

We learned about WIC and got on that program.  It turns out, that we probably could have been on it before because of the amount Gabe made compared to the size of our family, but we didn't need it because I worked so hard at being careful with our finances. www.examiner.com/x-2940-Frugal-Living-Examiner~y2009m2d26-The-WIC-Program

Speaking of finances, how do you handle "the bills"?

Melissa:  I always planned out the budget ahead of time. Gabe was paid every other week so I would organize the bill's according to due date so they were paid on time.  I set up a budgeting register with sections for mortgage, utilities, gas, groceries, savings and others like insurance or car payment.  Each check was deposited directly but I would record the amounts needed for each section separately and any left over went to a "general " for any extra bits that come up.  If it was for a larger bill I might take part of the amount out of each check to even it out.  This way all the bills are paid first and no bass hawking is necessary. www.examiner.com/x-2940-Frugal-Living-Examiner~y2009m3d11-Is-Money-Your-Master-or-Your-Servant

What do you for entertainment?

Melissa:  Our "go out" money for eating out or going to the movies, was always taken out in cash.  This way we didn't spend too much eating out.  We learned to stretch our go out money better by renting movies on dollar days, or going to the dollar theater instead of the multiplex.  We buy take 'n' bake pizzas (with coupons usually) and look for other low cost ideas for entertainment.  We still go to our favorite restaurant just not every week. 

Other things we do for fun include old standbys like taking family walks or picnics, family game night and working in the yard together.  Also arts and crafts are big in my family (we save boxes and containers and papers of all sorts to use for art projects).  www.examiner.com/x-2940-Frugal-Living-Examiner~y2009m7d11-Easy-inexpensive-summer-crafts-to-do-with-your-kids

There are also things like free movies in the park in the summer and summer reading programs at the library and Barnes & Nobel as well.  Each has their own prizes and incentives and some libraries include special activities during the program as well.  www.examiner.com/x-2940-Frugal-Living-Examiner~y2009m6d9-Sign-your-kids-up-for-the-summer-reading-program

This year because the children are on Medicaid they were able to take part in a local voucher program that gave them all vouchers to use in the local recreation center.  They have been able to participate in archery, wall climbing, and tumbling this summer. 

The drive-in is another inexpensive night.  We bring our own treats and popcorn and get two movies for the price of a matinee, but you will be up late if you stay for both. 

We save up for a membership when we want to go to the museum or zoo.  If you plan to go more than once a year a membership is really a better deal.  There are also free days.  The museum offered 20% off a membership if you purchased it on their free day (another  bonus). 

There are many fairs and festivals around that are very inexpensive or even free to check out but food can be costly.  I usually pack snacks or lunch and water bottles for everyone so we do not feel forced to buy from overpriced vendors.  This also makes it easier to spring for a treat if our lunch was free, a little extra planning is not really that time consuming and can really help your pocket book out in the long run. 

Do you also plan meals?

Planning is great for weekly meals too.  I plan dinner, even leaving a day open or including an easy crockopot recipe or two and put needed ingredients ion the shopping list.  This helps avoid unplanned purchases or nights when I just can't think of anything and we 'd give into the urge to go out whether it's in the budget or not.  I've found that planning meals also helps in that Gabe can more easily take over (especially if I include easy to prepare dishes ) and help with the cooking.

Do you grow a garden?

I neglected to include my information on growing a veggie garden or our annual trip to Miller Farm which have also helped out with the grocery budget. www.examiner.com/x-2940-Denver-Frugal-Living-Examiner~topic90796-Gardening

Do you nurse your babies?

Since our third child was born I had a better nursing coach and was able to nurse her and her little brother.  Nursing saved upward of $350. per child, (actual estimates range from $1500.00 per year to $2000.00 per year for formula alone) from 1 yr. of formula , plus cost of bottles and equipment.  And it's better and more loving for them. www.examiner.com/x-2940-Frugal-Living-Examiner~y2009m2d10-Pregnancy--childbirth-options

Disposable or cloth?

Since my fourth we switched to cloth diapers primarily because fo the cost.  We save at least $2000. over the course of diapering and I wish I had been better informed when I looked into cloth diapers with my first then the second and third and now fourth would have been virtually free to diaper. 

I happen to like pocket diapers better than the folded ones. but fold-ables or pre folded are by far the least expensive.  That's what we went with to start our stock.  I found in researching the net tons of free patterns to make you own diapers so I have begun to do that, now I am able to have the style I prefer in cute designs too.

I purchase flannel at Joann's when they have 1/2 off sales and I bought the terry for the soaker part of the diaper with  a 1/2 off coupon.  I bought a few covers new, but most of them off craigs list.   I found a deal for enough covers for all of his sizes for $50.  There were even several nice wool covers.  The money for the diapers was a gift from Gabe's grandma (250.00).  I was able  to get everything we needed to get started plus fabric to make more as he gets bigger ( I chose a pattern that is one size fits all)   So I really only spent $50. for covers! 

Many people put their cloth on craigslist and most are pretty well cared for.  There are cloth diapers called "all in ones" that are just like a disposable in ease of use that are some of the more expensive diapers (only very slightly less than buying disposables) but definitely better for the environment and maybe more worth it if you plan on having more children as well, but you can find some really great deals on used ones that make them even more worth it.  I have a whole chart and stuff I save on the price comparisons of disposable vs. the different types of cloth.  Some people mistakenly think that cloth is just as bad or expensive because of the extra water used in washing but that is acutally negligible. 

Do you sew anything else besides diapers?

Recently I've tried my hand at sewing new dresses and blouses for the girls. I have fabric which I bought on clearance awhile ago and I buy patterns at Joann's for $1-$2. each.  I'm still practicing my sewing skills but have been able to make a few things at virtually no cost.  Joann's has a whole section of clearance fabrics and sometimes they mark them down another 50% off, making them a great deal.  Even Walmart sometimes has really nice fabrics in their fabric clearance section.  Always check the clearance section first. www.examiner.com/x-2940-Denver-Frugal-Living-Examiner~y2009m3d19-Save-money-by-learning-to-sew

Do you buy new? Or thrift store?

I check the clearance section for the kids next season clothes and even next years clothes.  Buying a size up and saving it away for next season.  It is so much better to spend 50-70% less ( sometimes more) especially for childrens clothes.  I have often found that a really good clearance is as good and sometimes better than even the thrift store prices.  One of my favorite stores for clothes shopping is Kohl's.  They have awesome clearances.  They often have extra  15-30% off coupons that you can use on clearance items as well.  Kohl's is the only store credit card I own.  When I do use it, I pay it off before adding more and I have never gone above $300.00 on it.  I like Kohls because it's similar to having layaway.  (Something Walmart did away with- bad move, I think).  With the Kohl's card, if you pay at least 1/3 of your bill or $50. a month (whichever is more) then they do not charge interest.  Then because you have a card they send out extra coupons and have special offers like for every $50. you spend with your card you get a $10 gift card.  When the girls were still in regular school I used this to buy their school clothes, and I have a coupon.  They get school clothes (uniforms) for less and I get to come back and get a little something for myself with the gift cards.  www.examiner.com/x-2940-Frugal-Living-Examiner~y2009m7d8-Back-to-school-clothes-for-kids

Do you think it really makes a difference?

Melissa:  All of this budgeting and planning is what I do to help out the family financially and I believe that it really does help.  We as a family of six can live comfortably on $3000. a month.  ( and this would include 15-20 % for taxes as Gabe is self emloyed now).  It does take more time to learn to budget, and to work one up (but  I find it is usually unnecessary to change it much once it is worked out),  to plan meals a week ahead, and to make more things from scratch, but it is such a huge money saver and stress reliever in the long run.  And I really love being able to care for my family in this way.  I used to feel bad that I didn't make any money for the family ( I was even criticized by someone when Gabe first lost his job) but really by my efforts I have been able to save us more money than I would make a t a secular job.

The cost for expensive childcare (licensed) I've seen is  $120. per week per child.  That is $480. a month for one chld and over $1900. month for four!  I've never made that much in one month and that's over 1/2 of Gabe's highest monthly wage.  Add to this eating out more due to work lunches and being too tired to cook once home.  Some people like to add a housekeeping service to that so they don't have to worry about it as much.  I cleaned houses for awhile, and a house the size of mine would be about $80- $100. per week.  So another $400. a month.  Grocery bill goes up for all the pre-made foods since I wouldn't have that much time once home from work. Expenses would also be higher due to the increase driving.  My van costs twice as much to fill as Gabe's car so gas would be three time as much, plus extra wear on the van.  Also myself and my children would all need extra clothing for work and public school (they attend a virtual school at home at the moment) which I find very cost effective as one of it's many bonuses too.  A new wardrobe for the girls and myself would be upwards of $500. or more let's just guess at $50.00 a month average.  With just these few things I am able to save our family upwards of $2330. a month (and that's on the low end!)  Over $2000. a month easy!  I'd have to make almost as much as Gabe at his highest salary just to drive back and forth and incur extra expenses and have someone else raise my kids!  No thank you!  The woman who criticized me for staying home had no idea what she was talking about!  I definitely help out financially.

As far as living with in your means, I think all of it comes with trial and error.  There's alot of research that can be done to price compare and a lot of really examining your finances.  Really compare your necessary out go (like housing and set bills) to the unnecessary.  Check grocery receipts and keep tabs for awhile on how much you spend on extras or un-needed items.  You'd be surprised and really decide if it is a need or a want.  Budget doesn't mean that you don't have anything extra for fun, it just means that you take care of the necessities first and having one can help you to determine where you might be able to cut things out and in doing so you may have more available to put in savings or save for something you really need or want.  Some people can get very strict with budgeting they think they need to cut out anything that might be an extra expense.  Sometimes that might be uneccessary  for a time but I don't think that's the real purpose of budgeting or living frugally.  The purpose for me is to live comfortably and stress free.  Because these necessary things are taken care of and more importantly so is my family.