Caring is one of the most important friendship qualities. Without it, there is no real friendship.
Empathy is another word for caring. It's a very deep caring. It's the capacity to experience your friend's feelings, albeit on a somewhat different level. It's a sincere interest in their troubles or successes. It's the heart of a true friendship.
Let's take the scenario that your friend takes a huge leap of faith, leaves her job, and opens her own public relations firm. The success of that public relations firm is better than she had hoped. Her happiness is evident. You automatically feel happy too. You share in her elation. Her joy is your joy. There are no feelings of competition or jealousy. True friendship is getting pleasure from, and delighting in, your friend's successes.
Caring is being aware of your friend's highs and lows. It's about compassion and consciousness.
True friendship is also about the desire to spend time together. It's about talking. It's about feeling almost high from being around that person. Of course there are many, many, more aspects of what friendship is. I happen to feel that these are the most important. What about you? What do you feel is the most important friendship element?
Comments
Her joy is your joy. There are no feelings of competition or jealousy. True friendship is getting pleasure...
Debbie, there is a word in Yiddish that describes just that. To "fargin" someone, is to celebrate with them-feel happy for their successes, with no resentments. I don't think there is a word in English that accurately describes this concept as well!:)
Re. important friendship elements, I think honesty is high up there!
Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us all!
I agree with you so much. I'd like to add trust. When you get close to someone you tend to tell them what's on your mind. You have to have trust.
Jerilyn Dufresne
Chicago Mental Health Examiner
Hard to choose what is the most important element because there are several. Along with caring, honesty is right up there. Accepting and loving your friend for who SHE is, is essential. Allowing your friend to have her little quirks and smiling inside about those quirks is important to me. (BTW, Deb, I smile inside every class you take. ESPECIALLY when you kill yourself doing side to side lunges off the bench to a great 60's classic!)
I have to agree if there are feelings of competition or jealousy there is no true friendship. A true friend is happy when things are good and there for you when they are not.
I think a friendship has to be mutually enjoyable where each person is on par with each other and respects each other equally. There is great fun and enjoyment in having a friend whose personality, idiosynchrasies, interests, etc. jive with yours.
But...digressing from the fun element of a great female friendship, I also thing a blatant honesty needs to exist between each other. I mean honesty without superiority, honesty with good intentions, and honesty with tactfulness.
Thank you.
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