Unless you've been hidden away in a cave... on a far off, distant planet... in another galaxy... far, far away... you can't help but hear the names of Lindsay Lohan and Lebron James at least a dozen times a day. They're being talked about on every radio station, you see their faces splashed on the TV screen. They're all over the Interenet and what self-respecting celebrity reporter would be caught dead without writing at least one article a day about these two self-absorbed, arrogant, spoiled rotten BRATS?!
LiLo seems to think she can get away with anything simply by giving the judge the finger and then shedding a few crocodile tears. Please. She's an actress! Albeit not a very good actress, but still, she's been taught how to turn those tears on and off at the drop of a hat. Kudos to the judge for seeing through her little performance.
And Lebron? Don't let him fool you, either. Sure, he would have made more money had he gone with Cleveland. However, let's not forget there's no state income tax in Florida – like there is in Ohio. As long as he keeps his Ohio residence he's going to make more going with the Heat. This has absolutely nothing to do with Lebron deciding he needs a new “challenge”. It's all about the Ring and the green stuff.
While watching Lebron's press conferecne announcing his decision to join the Miami Heat at her home, Berea, Kentucky Mixmaster, Suzy Jarvis, and her guests, were discussing the fact that, if they had to listen to one more word about Lindsay Lohan or Lebron James they were going to hide away in a cave... on a far off, distant planet... in another galaxy... far, far away! Here are a couple of drinks that Ms. Jarvis came up with to dedicate to these two, clueless celebrities.
LiLo's Tears
- 4 ounces champagne – Because, you know... Only the best for Lilo!
- 1 ounce Midori melon liquer – Because green is the color of crocodile tears
- Serve in a champagne flute and garnish with a red maraschino cherry – Because, well... let's not go there.
The King James Version
- I ounce Goldschlager cinnamon schnapps – For the ring and the money!
- 1 ounce Jagermeister – Because, well... it's just pretty disgusting!
- Mix and serve in a rocks glass.
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