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because of the way he or she behaves? Consider that the behavior is learned. Parents usually are the ones who teach children how to behave. So I wonder why parents think hitting or spanking is the solution to inappropriate behavior. Sometimes parents are emotionally reactive, unstable, or unable to mange their own frustration. Sometimes parents simply do not understand why undesirable behavior is occurring and do not take the time to figure that out.
Parents need to invest the time and effort to learn more about behavior. Parents and children would benefit from parents learning how and why behaviors occur, then, instead of physically hurting a child, parents could learn alternative methods for changing behavior. That sounds like a better idea. Most parents would choose a positive, loving, less stressful method if given the opportunity.
Parents take the easy and quick way to achieve short term effects and forget the big picture. There are many studies proving the ineffectiveness of punishment and negative strategies of teaching.
When talking about spanking it is important to begin by thinking about motivation. Think about the most influential people in life. If parents think about the people who they respect and admire the most, people they want to be around and spend a lot of time with as adults, would these people be people who threaten and physically hurt them? Would parents be motivated by physical harm as adults? Would they be learning positive, healthy lessons?
Everyone agrees that spanking can certainly change behavior especially when spanking or physically threatening someone very young, vulnerable, or timid in character. Threats and violence is everywhere in the world. Domestic violence, robbery, war, bullying, abuse of the elderly or disabled are good examples.
If parents think about the effectiveness of spanking or physical threats, they usually think about the short term effect and success in the moment and not the long term effects.
Think about these questions. Would you be motivated to change your behavior because someone hit you? Why or why not? Would you feel violated? What makes hitting a child different than hitting an adult? What is being taught by hitting, spanking, or threatening?
Many people argue that spanking is ok and teaches children to behave. Do those individuals remember a time when someone hit them or beat them and they liked the person who administered the pain more, wanted to be with that person more, and learned positive behaviors.
The short term effect from spanking is that children will learn to avoid the behavior, avoid the parent, or how to be sure the parent does not see or learn about undesirable behaviors, but not to reason, think for themselves, or make better decisions..jpg)
The long term effects are embedded memories of either mild discomfort to pain, violent behavior, an unpleasant experience, confusion, stress, animosity among family members, unhappiness, sadness, fear, emotional reactivity, dislike for the facilitator, low self esteem, learned avoidant behaviors, and the most profound emotion attached to spanking or physical harm is anger. Many people who are taught to behave appropriately by way of spanking, threats, or physical harm become angry adults.
People who say they were spanked as children and they are fine are denying the unpleasant experience and are denying how negatively they were affected. Most
adults have some issues even if subtle because of being a spanked or threatened child.
In many cases the relationships between parents and children as adults are not sincere closeness and friendship or not as qualitative as they could be. Mostly the long term affect is issues with anger management and emotional reactivity.
Parents want children to come to them when they have questions or need advice, yet if parents hit or harm their children, the children are much more likely to avoid their parents. This is true even when the parents have instilled in the child that they must hit them to teach them.
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And what about when children get older…bigger than parents or stronger…parents do not hit or find that violence works then to motivate or change behavior so basically parents only use spanking if the child is too small to defend themselves or too vulnerable to prevent harm to themselves. And then what can parents use to discipline through the teenage years? Many teenagers are quite distant from their parents for exactly these types of interactions throughout childhood.
It is understandable that the reason parents use spanking and defend their use of spanking is because they do not know what else to do when their children misbehave.
More effective is teaching children that they are loved and they are respected even if the behavior they demonstrate is not appropriate or acceptable. There are positive effective methods for discipline that responsible parents should be sure to learn.
Bottom line is spanking even in the mildest form is unnecessary, violent, and hurts. It is a negative teaching method that is ineffective for teaching children to be smarter, calm, and happy. If parents can learn more positive, effective methods to teach or discipline children, the world would be a healthier, happier place for everyone to live.
Comments
thanks for this subject or article..........very good and useful......but i like spanking weman at her butt.....i like this too much.....i like butt of weman ............like it to much.....so i like hit weman at her butt.......and spank her always........all the time.......BUT..SPANKING CHILDREN is very bad bad bad and useless.......if u want to talk together my email is (spanking4ever@hotmail.com).......good luck
The American College of Pediatricians just released a report last month which indicated that non-abusive spanking is not harmful to a child. The ACP also endorsed a report indicating that children who are raised with healthy spanking as one of several forms of discipline fare better than those children who are ONLY spanked or who are NEVER spanked.
Might want to get your facts straight before writing, eh?
Critical thinking when we read information is important!
I have a soon to be 3 year old. I do not believe in spanking, although I have done it 2 times in the past year, not even a spank, a tap on the butt. I do not like the way it made me feel...and I certainly did not like that "I" hurt/startled my child. I have learned that punishment and teaching right from wrong is more resourceful. If you teach your child right from wrong, you should not have the opportunity to spank them. I do not remember being spanked as a child...punished, yes.
Child buttock-battering for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.
Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.
I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do.
There are several reasons why child buttock-battering isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:
Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak,
The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson,
NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.
Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational literature, testimony, documentation, etc available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research on the topic.
Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child buttock-battering isn't a good idea:
American Academy of Pediatrics
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
Center For Effective Discipline
PsycHealth Ltd Behavioral Health Professionals
Churches' Network For Non-Violence
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu
Parenting in Jesus' Footsteps
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children
United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.
In 26 countries, child buttock-battering is prohibited by law.
In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on th
As a 30 year veteran high school teacher, I see the daily repercussions of no spanking. It started in the 1980's - where the "time out" movement started and continued to flurish to this day. Students have zero fear of their parents, teachers, and police. I see it daily. In the 70's when teachers did the spanking (corpral punishment), students respected and feared the teacher when he/she said to "stop", they stopped. Nowadays, I tell my students to stop, half stop, 25% argue until I give a detention, and the other 25% will say f*$k you, give me a detention. When I call home, the parents 99% of the time say "i dont know what else to do - he doesnt listen to me". Well, if you instilled the fear of God into him/her when they were young, they would be listening to you now.
Furthermore, is it just me or has anyone noticed the downward spiral of the youth in American society over the past 40 years when parents stopped physically disciplining? Oh yea, and getting arrested for spanking?
To continue from my post below - Have you noticed that parenst dont have a discipline problem in Jamaica? They are allowed to spank their kids and still to this day, Jamaican (and the west indies countries) have no child behavior problems.... makes you want to think doesnt it?
There are more youths in America in jail, in gangs, dropping out of high school, etc... than any other country. Yet we still dont spank? We are allowing our children to rule the roost.
Dr's, Phychologists, Child Therapists may all say "its harmfull to spank" etc, but in this I believe spanking is the lessor of the two evils. Spank now, or loose control later = bad for society.
I for one plan on retiring soon and moving to an other country because of this sole reason. Kids dont care, parents care less. If parents cared more about wanting to spank, parents would get the laws changed to allow it.
I think it's great that you present both sides of the argument. I also wanted to let you know I linked a recent article I wrote about spanking to this page.
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