Examiner.com

Everyday I choose one of my children and I tell them they are my favorite.  I try to make sure I do that for each one, but the idea is that I want them all to know they are my favorites for what each of them has to offer.   I have to be honest that there is seldom a time that I love them all equally, because they are human and one day I love them all immensely and the next day I am considering Ebay for at least one of them!

But in all honesty, children will test their boundaries.  As parents we hope for that; pray for that, so that our children will one day find their own boundaries and  branch out and make us proud.  Do we influence that with our favoritism?  Of course we do.  Every one of our children is different.  Each one of them has strengths and weaknesses, and our job as parents is to make sure that they soar with their strengths and overcome their weaknesses.  So, when one of them brings home an A in math but fails in social graces, we might give them more kudos than the child that made the football team, but can't pass Pre-Algebra.  We choose our battles wisely and assess each child for what he has to offer.

Some times we face children that are immensely talented, but have no idea what to do with that talent.  Do we push them to be who they should be or do we allow them to find what they want to be.  It's a tough choice, and as parents we have to face these choices everyday.

So what do we do when we are faced with directing our children to a possible future?  The first thing we need to do is acknowledge our own expectations and intentions.  Is it our dream or theirs?  Then we need to give our children a safe environment to explore their passions; even if that passion is the fulfillment of our own unfulfilled dreams.  We must allow for their own path to become apparent before we offer any well intentioned, yet one-sided advice.  Finally, we have to allow them to be truly unique, even if that goes against our pre-determined vision of their future.  Until then, our job as parents is to just provide a back drop for their aspirations.

So one day, when our future vocalist hits the note that would kill on American Idol, we might have to curb our enthusiasm as we watch our next child pull a strong C on a test that we helped him study for all weekend.  Maybe he needs a bit more fanfare than she does.  But in the end, we will all be holding our breath when she hits that Idol audition and he graduates from college.  We can always hope for the best for all our children.  But until then we have to believe that every milestone brings them closer to who they aspire to be.  Hopefully it will be close to our personal dreams for their future, but more importantly the key to the stars that guide their tomorrows.