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Dating in your 40s and the power shift
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Power Shift: Rescue Dating For Women
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A Power Shift occurs between men and women in their late 30s and 40s. It is a phenomenon identified in the book, Power Shift: Rescue Dating for Women. Women who were beautiful in their teens and early 20s are dumbfounded as they approach 40 that they no longer have the same power over men that they did when they were 25. These women will dismiss men heartlessly for what they perceive as un-chivalrous behavior when he no longer jumps through hoops just to be next to her. None of their relationships seem to stick and women don't understand why.
Women in their mid-30s and 40s still expect men to fall all over them like they did when they were 23 and become indignant when they don’t. Women are shocked and appalled that they no longer have power over men like they did before, and they dismiss him the minute he displays un-chivalrous behavior. But what they don’t understand is that men realize their own power in their late 30s -- they become more financially stable, more ruggedly handsome and walk with confidence and wisdom resulting from age -- and they have a line of women waiting to fill her shoes if she acts out in fits of entitlement. Men now have options and they will easily dismiss a woman unless she realizes that she is no longer the only prize. He now is a prize too -- and she better start jumping through a few hoops of her own if she wants to catch a really great guy and keep him.
And the sooner women realize this, the better. It won’t get any easier. Think about the senior centers where the geeky guy in college who never could get a girl, is now 70 and being fought over on the dance floor and competed for with casseroles. If a man retains his looks, health, and god forbid a full head of hair, he should be prepared to beat the women off with a stick. By the time women reach 50 they figure this out and it is a level playing field. But women in their mid-30s and 40s are not clued in yet. They still think they have the upper hand. Power Shift: Rescue Dating For Women, prepares women in their 30s and 40s who are still waiting for prince charming to sweep in and rescue them. Women in their mid-30s and 40s have to be proactive and smart, and need to step out of their gilded carriages if they really want to get a good man.
Women should not be blamed for expecting men to grovel and do back flips for them. After all, since they were little girls, batting their eyelashes in pretty dresses, men would fall at their feet. If they were pretty as a teenager, they could virtually do anything, go anywhere and get anything they wanted. They were drunk with power. Men were their subjects and they were the idolized princesses. Women shouldn't blame themselves for repeating behavior that has been reinforced their whole lives. They simply didn't understand that things have changed. The power has shifted in their late 30s to one of equality. The playing field has leveled out and men and women have become more equally matched. Women are going to have to work to catch men the way guys used to have to work to catch girls in their 20s.
While her aging, male counterpart is out having fun exploring all of his new options, including financial success and rugged good looks, the mid-30s and 40-something woman is left wondering why things have changed. What happened to her power? Not surprisingly, women can start to feel more and more resentful and desperate with each passing birthday. But a truly complete woman is a woman who understands that masculine and feminine energy are two parts of a whole and one is not superior to the other, rather the combination of the two energies are what create totality. Women in their 30s and 40s need to learn flexibility in order to navigate the power shift successfully. They need to realize that men do want women who are intelligent, grounded, beautiful and powerful, but men also want hot and they want sweet, and they want to feel adored and appreciated the way men made women feel when women had all the power in their 20s.
To read more: Power Shift: Rescue Dating for Women,
For more information contact Melinda Maximova, matchmaker with Perfect Search melinda@theperfectsearch.com
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