Seattle's unsexiest motorcycles

May 11, 12:28 PMSeattle Motorcycle ExaminerPhil Herring

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Not all bikes are endowed with Italian supermodel looks.  Some have a nice personality but... well, they have a nice personality.

So as a bookend to Seattle's Sexiest Motorcycles, and in no particular order, these are my nominations for the unsexiest bikes on the streets of Seattle.

Please note: these are all wonderful bikes and the opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of examiner.com, their employees or shareholders.  But I'll bet they secretly agree with me.

La-Z-Boy Division:  Yamaha Majesty.  No Barcalounger has anything on this bike.  That lever on the right is either the parking brake or full-recline mode. Runner-up: Honda Silver Wing (not pictured). 

Lizard Impersonation Division:  Suzuki V-Strom.  I owned a DL1000 and it was a beautiful bike from the seat.  From the street, however, it's a cross between the Eastern Bearded Dragon (Pogona Barbata) and a whippet.

The V-Strom puffs up when it senses danger.

Light Truck Division:  Harley Davidson CVO FLHTCUSE3 Screamin' Eagle Ultra Classic Electra Glide.  A half-ton of fun, this mount has everything but the kitchen sink... and if it did have one it would be iron.  Runner-up: Honda Gold Wing (not pictured).

My wife thinks this looks like a giant bacon slab. Who am I to argue?

Cosmo Spacely Division: Victory Vision.  The love child of Alien vs. Predator.  For the rider who wants to scream, "Hey, look at me! I come in peace."  Runner-up: Suzuki B-King (not pictured).

Even Batman would be embarrassed.

 Paramilitary Division: BMW K1300R.  Pity this bike wasn't around for a merchandising deal with the movie Brazil.  Just add Sargent Schultz.  Runner-up:  Ural Patrol (not pictured).

Is this Teutonic, or what?

So there you have it, from scooters to cruisers, from $7,000 to $27,000 stickers, motorcycles only their designer could love.  Feel free to add your favorites or criticize mine.

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