Looking Back With Sarcasm: The 2006 NFL Draft

April 21, 10:35 PMNFL ExaminerReid Kerr

Previous Next

Comment Print Email RSS Subscribe

Subscribe

Get alerts when there is a new article from the NFL Examiner. Read Examiner.com's terms of use.

Email Address   Include other special offers from Examiner.com Terms of Use

Looking Back With Sarcasm: For the next two weeks, every day we'll take a look back at the NFL Drafts of the past ten years. These timelines were written as the draft occurred, and are printed here, warts and all.

This was the year the Houston Texans went on the clock officially, and Reggie Bush wasn't in their crosshairs. Three years later, the most valuable player in this draft might have been quarterback Jay Cutler, who was worth a pair of first round draft picks to Chicago.

The NFL Draft Day timeline, 2006: 

January, 2006: The Houston Texans go on the clock, with the first pick in the NFL Draft. They publicly resist pressure to draft hometown hero quarterback Vince Young, and say they're determined to sign running back Reggie Bush. Everyone who covers the draft writes Bush's name in ink at the top of their draft boards, ignoring the fact that the Texans have also been "determined" to protect the quarterback, have a winning record, and make the playoffs, and none of these things have successfully happened either.

Sunday: The story breaks that Reggie Bush's family allegedly lived rent-free in an expensive house while he was a student-athlete for USC.

Late Friday night: The Houston Texans announce they have reached a contract agreement, not with Bush, but instead with defensive end Mario Williams. ESPN springs into action, summoning Mel Kiper, Draft Expert by spotlighting a silhouette of his rigid hairline into the skies over Gotham city.

April 29, 2006, 11:00am: The 2006 NFL Draft begins, brought to you by beer, snacks, and other things that are currently keeping sports fans alive all over the country.

11:03am: Chris Mortensen runs down the events of the past week in the life of Reggie Bush. In a two-minute explanation, he uses the word "allegedly" two dozen times.

11:05am: Watching from their rent-free luxury mansion, Bush's father is so distraught, he chooses to relax by taking a dip in their champagne-filled swimming pool.

11:14am: NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue announces the first pick, with Williams going to the Texans. Jets fans boo the pick, setting the precedent for the draft, the day, and their attitudes for the rest of their lives.

11:18am: FEMA announces they will be making the draft pick for New Orleans. However, they will not be ready to make the decision until October.

11:21am: Reggie Bush's father tries to calm his nerves by taking his solid gold dog for a walk.

11:27am: The Saints take Bush. His family celebrates, figuring with his first contract, they can continue to live rent-free for the rest of their lives.

11:29am: Bush is referred to as a player who can help rebuild the franchise. If he can also help rebuild bridges, homes, and schools, the city has their man.

11:33am: A commercial airs from the state of Louisiana, thanking America for coming back, and the Houston Texans for passing on Reggie Bush.