True Blood: A gruesome (almost) escape, betrayal, jealousy, and spell-casting

June 22, 4:45 AMInternational LGBT Issues ExaminerKelvin Lynch

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  Pam, Eric, and that other guy prepare to bite Lafayette

This week's True Blood featured possibly the most gruesome scene ever filmed, introduced Jason's new hunky (and possibly nutjob) rival, and had witchipoo Maryann revealing the extent of her powers.

First off, Lafayette witnessed Eric tearing apart the redneck with the titanium hip replacement limb from limb and eating him.  Eric's right arm Pam, who was in the middle of touching up Eric's roots, had to end up cutting his hair shorter because he got blood in it.  Lafeyette tried his best to negotiate with Eric for his freedom.  Pam and Eric spoke some sort of vampire language to each other, and Eric informed Lafayette that they were searching for an ancient vampire from Dallas who had gone missing, and accused Lafeyette of knowing something about it.

Later, back in the basement, Lafayette dug through the dead redneck's scattered remains to remove his titanium knee replacement (try not to vomit) and used it to break himself free of his metal chains.  Once upstairs at Fangtasia, he encountered the ditzy blond human "skank-ass bitch" who accidentally shot him in the leg and started screaming in terror. 

Lafeyette tried negotiating again with Eric, asking to be made into a vampire - "not only a vampire, your vampire."  Eric said, "interesting," and he, Pam, and that other vampire (what's his name again?) proceeded to take a bite out of Lafayette.

Sookie and Bill were in the afterglow of some amazing make-up sex.  Bill warned Sookie that Jessica was in the midst of an overwhelming series of transformations and couldn't control her impulses.  He was proven right when Jessica talked Sookie into taking her to see her parents, and Jessica tried to kill her abusive father.  Bill rushed in at the last minute, ordered Jessica to stop, and told Sookie to "shut up, this is your fault."  After ordering her to leave, he told Sookie, "now I have to clean up your mess."

Bill ran into Eric at a shopping mall while looking for clothes for Jessica.  After a sales clerk mistook them for a gay couple,  Eric informed him that he wanted Sookie to go with him to Texas to investigate the case of the missing vampire sheriff Godric of Area Nine in Dallas. Bill refused at first, but Eric reminded him that he had authority and would take Sookie if he wanted her. 

On the bus to the Fellowship of the Sun's camp, Jason met the hunky  Luke McDonald, who proved to be jealous of Jason because he seemed to be a favorite of FOTS (a.k.a. the Mormons) leaders Steve and Sarah, and because he beat him at touch football (in one of the most homoerotic scenes since the volleyball montage in Top Gun).  Steve and Sarah called Jason up to the stage for an "instructive" demonstration of how members should deal with vampires, much to the chagrin of Luke.  Jason almost ended up killing Sarah, who put fake fangs in her mouth and pretended to be a vampire.  The crowd applauded, revealing it as an obvious hate group.  Jason had flashbacks to last season's brutal (and gross) slaying of his vampire "friend".  Luke revealed his jealousy to Jason later, calling his being part of the FOTS "a joke" and called Jason "a Muslim Buffy with a d--k" for breaking a wooden flagpole holding a US flag in half to attack Sarah.

Eggs revealed his criminal past to Tara.   Sookie came by Merlotte's to ask Tara to move in with her.  Tara said living at Maryann's was weird and sounded too good to be true.  Sookie met Maryann and read her thoughts, which sounded like she was repeating some sort of spell.  Of course, it didn't work on Sookie. 

Speaking of Maryann, she sashayed into Merlotte's, ordered everything on the menu for lunch (much to the dismay of fry cook Hank and hapless new waitress Daphne) and cast a spell on all the patrons, including the off-the-wagon Detective Andy.  Maryann had everyone possessed, dancing and making out with abandon, practically having a big group orgy.  Sam confronted Maryann, and she did that weird fluttering thing she did with the pig, turning Sam into a dog.  Maryann said, "Abracadabra, Sam.  What I just did to you I can do anytime, anywhere.  So unless you want your customers to know your little secret, you better think twice before you ever threaten me again.  Do we understand each other?"

Burning Questions:

1. Will Lafayette become a vampire?  My guess is yes, because he's too valuable to Eric, and he'll die from his gunshot wound unless he is transformed.  He can be helpful in the Godric investigation since he told Eric he knew of a V buyer in Dallas.  Exactly what type of relationship he and Eric will have is what interests me (and apparently Eric too). 

2. How will Bill "clean up" Sookie's mess?  Looks like a good time to glamour Jessica's family so they forget all about it.  Bill wouldn't dare kill them because he knows Sookie would leave him forever.

3. Will Sookie help find Godric?  Apparently yes.  According to Loving True Blood in Dallas, the part of Godric has been cast, and it's 19 year-old Danish actor Allen Hyde.  Godric is 2000 years old, and described as "blond and shirtless ... his arms and chest covered with blue tattoos."  

4. Will Tara move out of Maryann's posh estate to live in grandma's house with Sookie?  Probably yes, since she's said she thinks something weird is going on with Maryann, and she's a bit wary about Eggs now that she knows about his past.  Better question - will Maryann allow her to leave?  Sam warns Tara in next week's episode to "take a look at what's happening - if I were you, I'd stay the hell away from her."

5. What will Sam do about Maryann? Those were fightin' words.  Is there a battle brewing between her kind and his?  Sam said last season that he wasn't the only shape-shifter in town, and told Sookie there were things out there she could never imagine. 

6. Next week's previews show sweet Hank meeting Jessica at Merlotte's.  Will she make him into a new vampire? Last season Hank seemed "vamp-curious". 

7. What will happen next week between Jason, Luke, Steve, and Sarah?  Luke seems like an expendable character, but he's got a chip on his shoulder, and is obviously jealous of Jason being Steve and Sarah's favorite. 

8. Some creature will chase Sookie down a deserted road next week.  It looks like a tree-hawk thing with talons and it claws Sookie in the back.  What the hell is it?

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