Cat fur and kitty britches

October 15, 1:30 PMCheyenne Business Commentary ExaminerTroy Whorten

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Quite possibly one of the funniest nonsense answers ever uttered by mankind, this phrase, "Cats fur and kitty britches," while innocuous enough out of context, can act as a powerful verbal smack down when correctly applied.  The following explanation of its meaning from usingenglish.com demonstrates its effective use:

When I used to ask my grandma what was for dinner, she would say 'cat fur and kitty britches'. This was her Ozark way of telling me that I would get what she cooked.

In other words, "You'll get what I give you and like it!"  A more general interpretation may be "If you are going to ask such a ridiculously stupid and pointless question, I'm going to answer in the most absurd manner possible."  The phrase is, essentially, the very embodiment of nonsense and silliness.

There are many instances in real life when a moment of candor could invoke the utterance of this idiom.  For example, Washington may take this track:

• "Senator, what will be in the final health care bill?" - "We believe a strong cat fur and kitty britches option is important to this bill"
• "What will be the most important spending in the stimulus bill?" - "Cat fur and kitty britches projects"

Wall street may find the phrase useful as well:

• "What is the justification for these enormous bonuses?" - "The performance of our portfolio of cat fur and kitty britches."
• "What securities make up the latest collateralized financial products?" - "Derivatives based on the default rate of cat fur and kitty britches."

Credit card issuers could make use of it as well:

• "Why did all my interest rates go up?" - "A change in your cat fur and kitty britches"
• "This contract is a mess! What is all this junk??" - "Cat fur and kitty britches"

With the increased complexity of legislation, regulation, contract terms, and financial products, the need for consumers, businessmen, voters, and investors to educate themselves has never been greater.  Borrowers are faced with pages of small print and take it on faith that the terms are favorable to them, yet are surprised when their mortgage rate jumps 5 points or their credit card interest rate triples.  Legislators face criticism at home because the haven't read thousand page bills comprised mostly of near-incomprehensible legalese.  Without clarity and simplicity (or at least the wherewithal to make sense of the gibberish), it all becomes a mass of cat fur and kitty britches.

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