Do work spouse relationships lead to workplace affairs?

August 4, 6:12 PMInfidelity ExaminerRuth Houston

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Work husband, work wife, work spouse, office wife, office husband, office spouse .

These are all terms used to describe a fairly new type of workplace relationship between co-workers of the opposite sex.

A work spouse relationship is a relationship between two co-workers which is characterized by strong emotional bonds similar to those in a marriage. It usually has all the elements of a marriage except for the sex.

A work spouse or office spouse is a workmate of the opposite sex with whom one shares a platonic relationship.
Work spouse relationships are becoming increasingly more common as indicated by the statistics below.

Work Spouse Statistics

An online survey of over 6,000 full-time workers conducted on behalf of CareerBuilder.com found that 1 in 10 workers (11 percent) felt that they had a work spouse

A survey conducted among a variety of industries by Vault.com found that 32% of the respondents reported having a work husband or work wife.

In a survey on socializing in the workplace conducted by Randstad USA, 53% of women and 42% of men said they had a work or office spouse.

Are Work Spouse Relationships Really Harmless?

Many people believe that work spouse relationships are harmless, but my ongoing infidelity research indicates that work spouse relationships aren’t as benign as they may seem.

Three years ago I began warning people that every work spouse relationship has the potential to become a workplace affair.

Here’s why.

Work spouse relationships are closely akin to emotional infidelity. The bonds formed between a work husband and a work wife are virtually identical to the bonds between two people involved in an emotional affair, and emotional infidelity is the precursor to sexual infidelity.
When a work spouse relationship turns into a work spouse affair, the dual sexual - emotional bond that results will undermine the marriage or committed relationship of the two work spouses involved.

Here’s how easily that can occur.

How Work Spouse Relationships Become Workplace Affairs

Since a work spouse relationship is basically an emotional affair, precautions need to be taken, and checks and balances put into place.

If there is a strong sexual attraction between the two work spouses, and the opportunity presents itself, a work spouse relationship can easily become a sexual affair. The catalyst could be one of the common workplace scenarios below:

•     A company-sponsored social event – especially if alcohol is being served
•     Frequently working late nights together on a business project especially behind closed doors
•     Socializing with a work spouse after business hours without the presence of their respective mates
•     Traveling together for business, and holding meetings in a work spouse’s hotel room

If one’s work husband or work wife is the type of person either party would seriously consider dating if they were single or unattached, then work spouses need to be especially vigilant to keep their relationship from inadvertently crossing the line.

The Growing Trend of Work Spouse Infidelity

One of the infidelity trends I predicted for 2009 and beyond is a significant increase in work spouse infidelity - workplace affairs which are an outgrowth of work husband - work wife, relationships.
Research in this area is still relatively new. But as more studies are conducted on the long-term effects of work spouse relationships, it will become apparent that they’re not so harmless after all.

Today’s work spouse relationships are going to become tomorrow’s workplace affairs. Eventually, when productivity at work begins to suffer, and marriages and relationships begin to deteriorate, people will realize the seriousness of this threat.

Work Spouse Quiz

Meanwhile, work spouses who would like to find out whether or not their relationship with their work husband or work wife is in the danger zone can request a free copy of the Work Spouse Quiz. This quiz is designed to help an office husband or office wife determine if his or her office spouse relationship is in danger of becoming a workplace affair. For a free copy of the Work Spouse Quiz, e-mail InfidelityInfo@gmail.com  with "work spouse quiz - Xm" in the subject line.

Copyright 2009 Ruth Houston

For more info: 

Infidelity Trends

Company Picnics May Breed Workplace Affairs

Is He Cheating? - Is She Cheating? - 21 Ways You Can Tell  (free tip sheet)