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So You Think You Can Dance: New York auditions
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In returning to Season 5 of So You Think You Can Dance, we must address what we have missed most. Our little Cat Deely. Who hasn’t teared up a little the first time she delightedly squeals, “Welcome your jidges!” I couldn’t resist her wacky-sized pink Guatemalan scarf tonight and her ubiquitous megaphone counting down the moment until fame-seekers of all styles (no pun intended) have had their moment in front of the jidges. I, for one, need much more cute, British narration in my life and am glad to know that Cat’s there to mind the gap for me, at least for the next twelve weeks.
From the looks of all the pointed toes and determined expressions, this seems like it might turn out to be the strongest season of So You Think You Can Dance yet. It sounds unlikely, but the talent tonight was definitely on par with last year’s Hurricane Joshua and Mount Twitch (sorry, those “No Boundaries” lyrics will not stop haunting me). And although the word “journey,” was only tossed around a few times tonight, I expect that we’ll be hearing it a lot during these audition weeks.
So the good news for everyone is not only that we get twelve weeks of gratifying journeys, extreme artistry, and British narration, but that this whole process starts over again immediately in the fall with Season 6. You thought you’d only see that shadowy credits character landing insanely on his head during the summer, right? (By the way, not sound all white girl, but can somebody please explain how you can land like that without breaking your neck?)
Okay, on with the show!
Auditions this season span eight cities, and tonight we spent about an hour in New York and another hour in Denver. I would make a joke about how all the hopefuls looked so cold and miserable in their woolen hats and rain slickers, but I fully expect global warming to melt Los Angeles, where I’m writing from, this summer, so I'm in no spot to make fun.
Day One: New York
The show started off with Gabby Rojas, whose mom is a trapeze artist, and who suffers from arthritis or as she put it, a body that’s deteriorating. While I thought this was a little overdramatic for TV, there was nothing overdramatic about 1.) how adorable her freckles were and 2.) how amazing her audition routine was. She danced a modern, thoroughly acrobatic sort of routine, with great dexterity and lots of bending. I tried one move and it hurt, so I knew that she was good. She also included a cool robotic uprising move at the end of her dance.
Nigel told her immediately that if she wasn’t in the top 20, he’d be surprised, since it was one of the best auditions he’d seen in the five years of this gig. Mary Murphy, of course, had to start off with a [blood curdling Mary Murphy-esque extended scream], which felt a little half-hearted and cheap this early in the game. I thought the scream was strictly reserved for special occasions and here, she trots it out in the first five minutes of the new season. I guess it’s a case of giving the people what they want, which is hearing damage sooner rather than later. Napolean and Tabitha, or NapTab as they are more conveniently called, the married couple choreographer and judges, mumbled some words that were drowned out by the echoing magnitude of Mary’s breathy wind-down from the scream. In the end, Gabby went straight through to Vegas – no surprise – and while I can’t say that I’m as wowed as Mary’s scream indicates she is, she deserves the Vegas trip.
How pumped am I that the powers that be have canned that awful Snuggle-sponsored happy dancing segment this season? There was nothing more infuriating than a puffy white bear shaking his adorable little hips. That bear almost drove me to…well, that’s another story for another time.
Next up were Storyboard P and Hobgoblin, two halves that did not quite make a whole. Their company, The Mutants, composed of just themselves, fingerpainted a slimy looking M on Cat’s milky white forehead with the same green paint that decorated their faces. I thought Cat was good sport to allow this tagging. They then invoked Obama as an inspiration for their dancing style, which I would describe as somewhere in between Thriller and Cirque du Soleil. Between this and Dick Cheney, Obama cannot be pleased at how this week is shaking down. Then, they began dancing and the judges sat and watched, sort of aghast and confused at the double-jointed, Scream-mask themed routine. As Storyboard P and Hobgoblin convened on the judges table, and the four judges scooted as far away from The Mutants as they could without dropping over the edge of their platform, it was Mary who betrayed her (and my own) true feelings when she laugh-screamed, “Are they done yet?” and “You’re scaring me!” For some reason, though, the judges conversed about how weird The Mutants were and promptly sent them through to the choreography round. To me, this again was two halves that did not add up into a whole lot of sense – these guys were just plain weird. What did make sense to me were the terrified expressions on Storyboard P and Hobgoblin’s faces when they realized they were going to have to dance without highlighting their joints. Mercy!
Since we’re in New York, I have to admit that I’m sort of waiting for annual auditioner Sex to appear, as he always does when SYTYCD takes their act to the greater New York area. But to my surprise, he does not appear. I guess either SYTYCD barred him and his mother from entering the building or he’s planning a sneak attack in another city. My bet is Memphis, though I’m not going to rule out Miami. I’m sure Sex would be greatly improved by a tan.
Then, it’s Crazy Kate’s turn. Honestly, that’s the name she gave Nigel, as if that would help make up for the fact that she was wearing khakis to a dance audition. Her rationale for such an ill-conceived handle is that she’s crazy about dancing. It’s always the weirdest people in the class or the office who create nicknames for themselves and then, spend the rest of their lives hoping that it will catch on. Upping the delusions of grandeur quotient for the day, she told the judges that she is ready to quit her job, or at least, take a week’s vacation when she makes the show. Poor Kate. She really is crazy. She was quickly dismissed, probably praying on her walk of shame to the lobby that her boss was not watching the show and realizes now what a totally expendable employee she is.
Peter Sabasino, a twenty-one year-old from Philly, has a big, fat Italian family and a challenge – a tap challenge, that is. How sassy! How West Side Story! Peter’s dad made a comment about Nigel, which, to me, sounded like he called Nigel a mary, but upon reflection, I’m fairly certain he said that he really liked Mary. Because of my lack of Tivo, though, this was hard to confirm. Like Crazy Kate, Peter made the mistake of wearing the exact wrong pants to his audition – in this case, a pair of athletic shorts so long that they appeared to be borrowed from Shaq and paired with a similarly ugly wife beater and friendship necklace. Mary backed me up on the outfit, which doesn’t say much, since she regularly pulls out hideous leopard print concoctions, encrusted with Swarovski crystals. NapTab chimed in with a lot of comments based around the word “nice,” which I’m going to assume is their catchphrase. What ultimately saves Peter from total disgrace is his tapping, which the judges describe as creative and full of energy. I know it made me want to roll back the throw rugs on the kitchen floor and start trying “Tea For Two” again. So, despite the ugly outfit, the merits of his tapping take him straight through to Vegas.
SYTYCD chose this point in the broadcast to present Tiffany Geigel, who is dancing with only three out of seven vertebrae in her back. As a result, her head is fused into her shoulders and her midsection is much more compact than her arms and legs. She describes herself as a suitcase, stuffed together, which I thought was creative and made me like her, especially because I have a feeling that she will not get through her audition. She dances to Enya, which made me like her a little less, and her dance was technically a little sloppy. Then again, she only has three vertebrae and I know how much I rely on all seven of mine, so who am I to call sloppy? Nigel pointed this out in a few ways, but spent the bulk of his critique talking about how brave she is to be here and to be doing what she’s doing. Then, after building her up, he told her that she’s not right for this competition and she says that this is all about making a point. Got it. What you’re hinting is that I should really stop sitting on my couch, watching so much reality TV.
Whenever dancers bring back former contestants – in this case, Maxsim, bringing back Faina, of Season 3 sorta-fame – I always worry for them. Why bring a partner that you know will most likely outshine you? They danced a spicy Latin routine to Sergio Mendes’ “I Like It Like That” and I was impressed with his strength and his sharp movements, for the three seconds that I wasn’t watching Faina. I did see him wink twice though, which I seriously hate. I equate it with the “white man’s overbite.” Nigel pointed out this winking issue, while Mary said that it’s hard not to watch Faina, and NapTab spoke as one mind-melded super-choreographer to inform him that it was nice. Despite the winking, Maxsim is sent to choreography round to lock horns with choreographer Lauren Gottlieb from Season Three.
A bunch of people, including a ballroom dancer and a high-flying contemporary dancer made it straight through to Vegas – but we’re not told their names. Instead, we’re given a montage of their great moves, while they remain blank faces in the crowd. They should start hoping right now that the no-camera-time Kris Allen effect carries over from American Idol.
Lastly for New York, there is Nabuya, whose name I hope I’ve spelled right, and whose look reminds me a bit of Ben Stiller’s character in The Royal Tennenbaums. My first thought is “uh-oh,” because he babbled on and on about the various dance syles that he excels at – mostly pop-locking, which refers to the locking of joints – and the show oddly subtitled all the most important words. Throughout his routine, Mary was cackling and I couldn’t determine whether that bode well for our Japanese-pop or not. As Nabuya got down to dancing, though, with his punctuated hits and hilarious pauses, I stopped caring about Mary and focused on his ridiculous talent. Then, after a spirited exchange with the judges in which Nabuya basically told them that all other styles of dance outside pop-locking could suck it, they put him straight through to choreography.
Lauren! She looks so much cooler than anyone auditioning! I so fondly remember the days of she and Neil, tearing up the stage with their Mia Michaels breakup routines and skinny black ties.
At the end of the day, the Mutants can’t hack Lauren’s tricky routine and throw in the face paint. Both Maxsim and Nabuya, however, get that glorious one-way ticket to Vegas. And so ends day one.
Day 2: New York Auditions
The first girl to audition uses the word fierce within the first few moments and I’m hooked. Airelle Taylor, 20, has good presence on stage. Strangely, she’s got an intensely expressive face that I couldn’t stop looking at even though I knew her body was performing the most amazing denials of gravity. The moody, atmospheric music she chose also really fit her performance and for the first time tonight, I find myself transfixed. Nigel mentioned that she’s auditioned before and asks what happened to knock her out from the Top 20s of years past. She basically ‘fesses up that she was cut during contemporary because she couldn’t hack it and starts babbling a bit too much in her own defense. It doesn’t matter, though, because Nigel and Mary both agreed that she’s terrific. NapTab, represented by Tabitha, provided the quintessential NapTab catchphrase, calling her dancing “super duper nice.” She goes right through to Vegas.
Thomas Martin, who looks like Freud trying to perform a bolero, shamed himself by not only dancing in a black turtleneck, but also, by biting his partner’s hip at one point. Dude. No one’s going to mistake you for Robert Pattinson, so give it up. Probably because Thomas looked so unlike Robert Pattinson, none of the judges bothered concealing how awful his dancing was. Nigel called it “ungainly,” while Mary admonished him that a bolero is supposed to be sexy, not bronze level dancing. I’m not sure what that bronze comment meant, but it must not have been good, because Thomas Martin got four pretty firm no’s and was on his way, probably to look for another juicy partner.
Next, we got Nina Estrina and Igor Zabrodin, who performed a quick, complicated Latin dance. Nina wore a yellow skirt that called to mind Josephine Baker’s infamous banana skirt, only she probably didn’t realize it. The best part of their routine was their “pot stir,” a low spin that just went on and on in the most incredibly sustained fashion. Nigel commented that they could put wet clothes on Nina and spin them dry. Mary confirmed the technical prowess needed for such an amazing move, and told them they had nice style, good feet, good arms, and not too much face pulling. I think the term “face pulling” will be the new pitchy. NapTab both commented that it was nice, of course, because they are nice.
I was distracted during Kellen Stancil’s umbrella routine by Nigel remarking, “beautiful” on five-second intervals. I also found myself wishing that I could cartwheel like Kellen because he made it look like an emotional experience rather than just a feat of coordination. Mary asked about the umbrella, which reduced him to tears and a heartfelt story about his dead aunt. Nigel then asked, “Was there something between you and your auntie,” which felt sort of perverted and Kellen gave another heartfelt answer to only quiet applause. Tabitha told him that we all connected to him, while Napolean made it personal and said that he was moved. Mary remarked his aunt would be happy, and then, Nigel held up the ticket to Vegas. Kellan spoke in nonsensical word segments after this point, but clearly, he is thinking about dancing.
Right away, when Chimezie Nwousa said that he hated when people mispronounce his name, I knew Nigel probably would. And lo! Nigel did not disappoint. Chimezie was set up as the classic question mark narrative – based on his personality, he could’ve been really good or really horrible, but luckily, he turned out to be great. He managed to pull off a running-up-the-wall back flip, which I cannot even pull off in my dreams. Nigel called it inventive and fun, but immediately added that he’d like to see him try other things, which I take to mean dance styles. Mary said that he was thoroughly entertaining and so much fun that she’d pick up the phone (hopefully to vote). Napolean made his boldest statement of the night by pointing out that it was routine with no meat, but all in all, that he did love the performance. Tabitha agreed that there were way more plusses than minuses in her book. He gets all yeses for the choreography round.
So the Day Twoers tackle Lauren’s choreography and of the three we were following – Igor, Nina, and Chimezie – the guys make it through, while Nina and her banana skirt are told that they were just not that into you. Much masculine happy dancing ensues, though, and Cat is there in her rabbit fur vest to hug everyone because, after all, it’s dry cleanable!
Tomorrow, look for my post about the Denver auditions, which were all kinds of fun and awkwardness (Mitchel and Misha, anyone?). I'm trying not to look too far along the journey of SYTYCD this season, but I’m already pretty convinced that this will be a great year for the show. Other than the obvious entertainment, this country needs some cheap entertainment in the form of plucky, can-do youngsters dancing each week to capture our hearts and phone calls.
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