"Man wishes to be happy even when he so lives as to make happiness impossible." --Augustine
The human desire for happiness is almost universal. Almost everybody says that they want to be happy. However, sometimes we are unreasonable. We want to be happy while we are behaving in ways that make happiness impossible. Unfortunately all that does is produce frustration.
If we want to be happy, we have to overcome and/or avoid the things that make happiness impossible. Here are a some ways to make happiness impossible:
Create guilt -- Guilt is a happiness quencher. Shame shuts down happiness. When I act against my conscience I am miserable. How about you?
Stay self-focuswd -- A "me-my-mine" attitude is a joy killer. I find that I am most happy when I forget about myself.
Have no purpose -- Without a cause, a vision, or a compelling reason to get out of the bed in the morning, happiness will be elusive.
Refuse to forgive others -- Unforgiveness fires up the oven of anger and bitterness and burns up any chance of real happiness.
Engage in self-destructive behaviors -- How can a person be happy when she is making herself miserable?
Compare yourself to others -- If we continually compare our lives, our situations, our abilities, our possessions with other people's we will eventually come up short and kill our happiness.
Have little or no self-discipline -- A car running out of control will soon crash. A person without self-discipline will also eventually crash and be unhappy.
Look down on others -- A snobbish attitude ushers happiness out of the door. Since all humans are made of the same stuff, when you look down on others, you look down on yourself.
Wallow in addiction -- I worked with addicts for several years. They were not happy when driven and tormented by their addiction. If you get addicted happiness will run from you.
Worry -- When a person obsesses about potential negative events or circumstances, he guarantees himself unhappiness. I like to turn worry into worglee and obsess about potential positive events. Now that's fun.
Cultivate and entertain fear -- Fear is painful and tormenting. It will smack the happiness right out of you.
Happiness isn't easy. But it is sure worth the effort. It is wonderful to be happy. Why not begin to aggressively and rigorously resist the behaviors and the attitudes that make happiness impossible so that you can truly enjoy life?
Comments
What a wonderful, well thought out list!
I would say that guilt and worry are the worst happiness killers and probably the two of the hardest to banish. But even worse than these, in my opinion, is self-pity. It is impossible to feel sorry for yourself and be happy.
When you feel sorry for yourself
Self-pity is the most self defeating of emotions because when you feel sorry for yourself, no one feels the need to feel sorry for you. You have proved yourself quite capable of doing the job yourself. And as no one shows you any sympathy, you feel aggrieved, and sad. Classic circular thinking. As are worry and guilt.
Thanks for the comments, Sue. Self-pity is indeed a realy happiness stealer.
yes
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