Recently, I’ve devoted more time than usual to answering students’ questions, reviewing their cover letters and résumés, and helping them one-on-one find internships and entry-level jobs. However, I’ve noticed a rather alarming trend – no one ever says “please” or “thank you,” and some have been downright rude.
I realize that, in the age of the Internet, it’s very easy to let your manners slip and to cast professionalism aside. But think about the message that sends and how it affects your “personal brand.” So, when contacting someone you’ve only chatted with occasionally online – or do not even have that much of a relationship with – to ask for career-related help, I recommend the following (note: I use myself in all of the examples below, but this advice should be used when reaching out to anyone):
1. Identify yourself. Think about if you were meeting me for the first time at a coffee shop. Would you walk up to the table and demand I look at your cover letter and résumé before your next class? I should hope not! Identify how you came across my contact information (i.e., someone who is a regular reader of my column or a follower on Twitter) and who exactly you are (i.e., a senior public relations student at American University).
2. Politely explain your situation. Again, going back to the coffee shop scenario, let’s say we sat down, talked and I now know who you are. The next step is to explain why you’re reaching out to me. Even if you’re panicking because the application deadline for your dream position is quickly approaching and you desperately need someone to look over your cover letter and résumé, calmly and politely explain why you’re reaching out to me – what you would like my help with. (Note: A little “please” goes a long way!) If there is some sort of deadline involved, state that, but don’t be demanding about it.
3. Be understanding of your advisor’s time. Believe it or not, while I love helping people, I’m rather busy (and so are other mentors). The students and recent graduates who acknowledge that fact are actually the ones who get more of my time. “Heather, I know you’re really busy, but I’ve been wanting to intern at Fleishman-Hillard since grade school, and their summer internship application is right around the corner. Do you think you’d have time to review my materials? If not, I completely understand.”
4. Take the advice you’re given professionally. Now that you’ve reached out to me, as a knowledgeable professional, please don’t start up an argument about how you’re right and I’m wrong. You don’t always have to take a mentor’s advice, but remember that you sought out that advice and you should be respectful of his or her opinion. If you are confused about something, say so, but don’t argue and become defensive.
5. Say “thank you.” I didn’t think I’d ever have to tell anyone this, but say “thank you” after someone’s helped you! No matter how big or how small the help was, that little bit of courtesy will make your mentor want to continue helping you in the future. Plus, it will make the individual feel really good about having helped you out.
Comments
I like your analogy to meeting in a coffee shop. What many young professionals don't realize is that networking is about establishing a relationship not just asking for help. Your analogy of a coffee shop conversation makes that more clear.
I agree with you, Heather. Those are definitely fundamentals in getting a professional job. Besides, the PR sector is so closely connected that you could be burning a bridge directly or indirectly by not keeping one’s professional face on at all times. Nonetheless, I admire your determination to help others.
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