“You’re fat.” “You’re ugly.” “You have your aunt Alice’s hips.” Sometimes the voices yell, sometimes they whine and at times they speak in a recognizable voice. This is the distorted self-talk of men and women struggling with anorexia, bulimia and compulsive eating. And until that voice begins to recede, healing is difficult if not impossible.
Think about this for a moment: how many times over the course of a day do you put yourself down? Although many of us would not tolerate abuse from someone else, we accept it when we are the critics. The critical internal voice can develop for many reasons. Matthew McKay, an expert in self-esteem, says that all of us have conscious and unconscious memories of all the times we felt bad or wrong – they are part of the unavoidable scars of childhood. This is where the inner critical voice gets started. For people with eating disorders, the internal voice is most often critical of the physical self or body.
Affirmations are powerful tool for addressing negative body talk, and can help to cancel or correct old negative thoughts or ideas. Affirmations are short positive statements targeted at a set of beliefs, such as the thought you are fat or ugly. Repeating positive affirmations with conviction chips away these beliefs. Positive body affirmations can remind us to nurture our bodies, and to engage in self-care even when we are struggling with active symptoms of an eating disorder.
Beth McKenna, LSW, a psychiatric social worker in Newtown, Pa. uses affirmations with her clients. She states: "Affirmations are an important opportunity to shift one's mental attitude to an acceptance of self rather than criticism. They also bring into awareness a flexibility that can generate more positive feelings about oneself."
In constructing affirmations, be sure to employ a positive outlook: affirm what you want to have happen although it’s not already occurring. Begin affirmations with an “I statement,” such as "I" or "I am…" or "I enjoy…."?. Use specific, brief phrases that you can remember easily. It is also helpful to use cards or post-its and place affirmations where you can view them regularly. To increase the power of affirmations, repeat them frequently and try repeating them while looking in a mirror.
The following are examples of positive body affirmations:
My body is beautiful, and I will love and nurture it.
I deserve to feed and nourish my body.
My body has it's own strength and grace.
I possess beauty and strength.
I will judge my days not by what or how much I eat, but by the accomplishments I have made and the love I have given.
I accept and embrace myself.
Comments
Excellent article, Heidi. I can recall being warned that I had the family "back porch" as a young woman. I also recall other family members telling other family members that they had "Aunt Sara's teeth" as if it were my doing! Very interesting what we remember and how words can affect us.
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