Photo by Kim Jacobs
My daughter called yesterday. During the conversation she shared something that my 2 ½-year-old grandson said the day before. My three grandchildren, two girls and a boy, ages 5, 3 ½ and 2 ½ were outside playing. A huge bumblebee buzzed by the children. The girls screamed and ran. The boy stood fast with hands on hips and said, “You think you want a piece of me?”
I’m always amazed at the words and phrases children come up with. “Where in the world did he hear that?” was the first thing out of my mouth. When, in fact, I knew where it came from. His father uses that phrase jokingly, all the time.
Parents say lots and they have no clue children are listening. But guess what, they are. They are watching, too. Even 2 ½ year olds are paying attention to what Mom and Dad, and other important adults in their lives, say and do. They mimic. And that’s how they learn.
I’m reminded also of a time when my oldest granddaughter said to me, “When I grow up, I want pink cigarettes.” Pink, is the ultimate color for her. When I told her mother what she said, my daughter paled. “I’m quitting smoking,” she told me. And she did.
So what is the lesson here? Be careful what you say? Be mindful of how you act? What you do? Yes. Especially around the children. Their eyes are wide and their ears big.
Often we wonder why children behave the way they do. Sometimes we can learn the reason why, just by watching them. I recall observing a young four-year-old in my preschool class during play time several years ago. She picked up an old cell phone we had placed in the Dramatic Play area. Playing alone, she would talk into the phone and then toss it down on a pillow. She’d stalk off, then pick it up, talk into it again, and toss it down. This went on for several minutes.
I knew what was going on. Her parents were going through a divorce. The mother had confided that things were not easy. And once, when the girl’s father came to pick up his daughter, I witnessed a similar behavior from him—talking on the cell phone as he entered the center, his voice raised, then snapped if off and shoved it into his pocket. I could only think that his daughter had witnessed that behavior, and more, from her parents.
Did we stop the little girl from acting out the same scenario? No, we didn’t. We watched and allowed her to go until she tired of playing and moved on to something else. As teachers, we made sure she wasn’t interrupting anyone else’s play, or hurting herself or others. What this did, however, was allow her to work through some frustration.
Later, during our recall time, the opportunity for her to talk more about her play was made available. She chose not to, and that was her choice.
The point? Children mimic and learn from what we adults do. Whether it is language, behavior, or how to ride a bike, they look to use for the “right” way to do things. As a parent and role model, we should keep this in mind every single day, and make sure we are sending the messages we want to send.
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