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Having even one child can make it seem like an army with everything you
do to run your household. (AP Photo/Robin Scolz)
Super heroes have special, almost magical powers. They save the world, have fabulous hair and hold a double-life as a normal citizen. They are usually adored by everyone, but they’ll never know the hectic lifestyles that our modern day Super Woman undergoes. Of course, being a “Super Mom” is beautiful because this full time job shows just how much we love our family and how dedicated we are to hold everything together, no matter what it takes.
If you are anything like me, though, you spend most of your day trying to get everything done. This is usually done with one arm carrying your baby, and the other performing any other task you can manage. It could also mean you’ve become an expert at simultaneously executing your responsibilities. I've loaded both the washer and dryer with my son in my left arm, I've written 4 writing projects with him sitting in my lap and I've even mastered 3 minute showers while cleaning the bathtub at the same time. You learn to multitask when motherhood begins, and that skill never leaves you.
So, making dinner, doing the dishes, feeding your baby, doing the laundry, taking out the trash, changing diapers, letting the dog outside, checking your e-mail, vacuuming, folding the laundry, and finding the time to brush your teeth. In no particular order (but baby comes first, of course),these things need to get done, so there is not enough time in a full day to accomplish them individually.
Personally, I wouldn’t be able to just do mothering things. What I mean is I need to stay busy with activities outside of taking care of my son, even if they are mundane chores every day. It makes me feel as though I have a purpose, and as if I’ve achieved something. Many mothers I know feel this way, so this universal aspect of being a mother can cause a fray in nerves.
Take for instance a well known mother in the media Kate Gosselin. From TLC’s popular reality show Jon and Kate Plus 8, she is a mother of 2 sets of multiples. If you’ve ever had time to catch an episode, you know she (and husband Jon) tackle huge to-do lists. Meanwhile, all of their children are in tow and growing every day.
Before I had Seth, I would get dizzy when I’d watch the show and watch her adorable little ones running and screaming and getting into trouble. I guess I never understood everything it takes to be a parent, until now. I understand the amazing feeling when your child looks up at you and smiles a sweet, silly smile.
Sometimes life can’t always be that simple. Amidst the happy and innocent times, the potatoes are boiling over, the dog has urinated on the carpet or political canvassers are at your door with no one to answer it. You are not an octopus for a reason; you don’t have 8 arms.
Take this time to realize everything cannot and will not get done unless you are of sound mind and body. It’s hard to run a house smoothly if the same old routine does become a little too much. I’ve had to learn this early on that it doesn’t make me a bad mother to want 5 seconds to myself, so don’t feel guilty. It’s not just stress because of your children, it’s mostly that time does not allow a safe haven for your countless activities. When that comes into play, all Hell breaks loose and your world as you know it turns upside-down.
You actually deserve “you time.” Your husband or significant other gets the chance to leave the house every day to go to work. You don’t get the luxury to interact with other adults or do things for yourself. Instead of allowing things to get to the point of resentment or a huge blow-out, I’d like to share some things I’ve found that might help you gain some of your sanity back when stress is the only thing on your mind and body.
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Sit back, put your feet up and enjoy your favorite
flavor of coffee to melt your stress away-even if it's
only for a few minutes. (Courtesy Wikipedia)
1. Take 5-10 minutes to take pleasure in your favorite beverage (non-alcoholic!)
It is impractical to go out just to go to a coffee shop, so I drink just one cup of coffee when I get up, and I don’t get up from my chair until its warm goodness is completely gone. This could be something for you to look forward to every day, and it can give you 5-10 minutes of just sitting there. If you don’t drink coffee, have an icy, cold glass of lemonade or something to that nature. You can choose anything you want so you can savor both the flavor and the time.
2. Book yourself a massage
I’ve only done it once, and I wish I could do it at least once a week. You’ll be so glad you did it because it is the most relaxing thing you’ll ever experience next to a full night’s sleep. Since we both know the latter is not possible, take my advice. Massages can stimulate blood circulation, soothe tense muscles and leave you relaxed and ready to take on the day.
3. Jog for at least 20 minutes whenever you can during the week
Stress causes your body to release a hormone called Cortisol. This evil hormone then builds fat on “hard to reach” places on your body, mainly the abdomen, hips and buns. When you exercise, it is reduced, which can benefit you and your health. Another great thing about jogging is it increases oxygen and blood flow to the brain which will help clear your head. What’s funny is exercising is the most natural (and legal!) way to get high. According to Wikipedia, when you work out, “natural pain relievers” called endorphins are actually known to control feelings of stress and frustration and can cause a euphoric high.
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House MD airs every Monday at 8/7 CST on FOX (Courtesy Wikipedia)
4. Acquire a favorite TV show and watch it religiously
Honestly, when I talk about all of my favorite shows to people I know, they think all I do is sit at home and watch them without getting up to eat or shower. The problem is, I’m addicted to reality television because I like watching the lives of other people and sometimes trying to live vicariously through them. Aside from the long list of TV repertoire I have, if I had to choose, I have my top 5 shows that I couldn’t live without, with House being my top one. Don’t feel bad to have this guilty pleasure once a week or more. As superficial as they may seem, television shows can be fun, interesting and you might even learn something from them.
5. Go grocery shopping alone
This may seem like an ordinary tip, but it can make a world of difference. It guarantees you at least an hour to yourself. You won’t be distracted, and you might even save money since your tot isn’t around to shove every pretty colored package in your cart when you aren’t looking.
6. Get a pen pal
Though this may seem somewhat old fashioned especially in the face of e-mail communication these days, it can be an interesting way to “meet” people and how they live their lives every day. It’s like getting a letter in the mail growing up and how exciting that was. Penpalparty.com says having a pen pal is a way to “learn about different cultures, or become a friend for life.”
7. Take advantage of every day nice weather with your children
This can relieve stress because getting outside in the sun can make you happier than you were in the winter time. The few decent days we’ve had this year, I’ve taken Seth for a long walk in his stroller. It benefits your child and you at the same time. It also adds to your special bond and allows you to tell them what is going on around them.
8. Schedule play dates
In order to break up your schedule, to introduce your child to other children, for both of you to form friendships and utilize social interaction, set up play dates with other mothers who have children around the same age as yours. Have them at a local park, the library or each other’s houses. This is a great social invention that I can’t wait to try out.
9. Take a power nap
Studies have shown that naps taken during the day help raise energy and make you feel better. If your child is napping during the day, drop everything and curl up for at least 40 minutes. You don’t even have to sleep; just closing your eyes will help.
10. Join a bowling league
I actually have a weekly bowling league every Monday to look forward to that my fiancé and I do together. It’s such an amusing sport and I get to interact with adults, have fun and even try to improve my average. Even if you don’t want to join a league, plan on a bowling night once a week.
The only difference between Super Heroes and Super Mommies is that the maternal version is real. This makes everything they do and feel just as authentic, sometimes even amplifying life’s little annoyances.
So, in order to prevent stress, you need to make yourself happy. This begins with setting aside important time each day, each week, each month just for you. This shouldn't be taken lightly because when it comes to relieving stress, you should want to be more content for you and your family’s sake.
Exercise your right to have “you time,” and make sure your significant other respects and understands this healthy request. Doing too many things at any given time can get to any perfect person, so it isn’t unreasonable for a normal mother to show signs of anxiety or stress.
Just remember that while you keep your baby’s schedule, your finances and your house in order, keep your mental and physical wellbeing in order, too. And always keep in mind to stop, breathe and count to 3.
Comments
Why on earth would you cite Kate Gosselin as some kind of supermom?? She and Jon have tons of help, accept tons of freebies, and yet still complain about it all. Do a bit of research on them and you'll see how unworthy they are of any praise whatsoever.
Stories are circulating about Jon drinking with Juniata College coeds. Read 'People' Magazine.
Don't listen to them. Kate is truly a Super Mom you can look up to. Thank you so much for the great article. I am linking it on my blog! Its helped me alot and I appreciate it!
I'm sorry, I just have to say, that you cannot and will not get everything done every day ever. Especially after you have more than 1 baby. You could always try babywearing and use a sling, which would leave your infant nestled and both your hands free, or just let him learn to play by himself. I have two and I certainly don't get everything done, if anything on some days, but I've also been working on homeschooling my oldest before she starts Pre-K (if I send her at all). This is not meant to be mean-spirited, just put in perspective that there are more important things to do than getting all the housework done. These tiny years go by too fast. (BTW, I am not opposed to women finding time for themselves, quite the contrary I think, as a SAHM of two toddler girls, it's VERY important to refresh and relax)
If you enjoy penpal letters, also try JuJu. It's full of nice people and they are good about removing scammers. (www.juju.cc)
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