Clark Rockefeller on 12/1/08. AP photo.
In 2008, there was one news story that had all eyes on Boston. Clark Rockefeller snatched his daughter during a supervised custody visit on July 27 and was found with her six days later in Baltimore. His name made headlines for weeks and his story got weirder and weirder.
But even as the world condemned him as a wacko, I had to wonder. Here was a guy who had assumed up to nine different fake identities, fooled everyone who met him, made a few friends and a lot of money and flew well under the radar for a long time. Then he threw it all away for a chance – and he had to know it was a slim one – that he would be able to see his daughter every day.
By all accounts, he was a doting full-time father who raised his daughter while his wife worked a demanding job. After the divorce, his wife won custody (partially because Rockefeller couldn’t provide proof of his identity) and moved to England.
So yes, only a bad parent (and a wacko) would run off with his daughter in the middle of a supervised custody visit. And surely his daughter must have been at least a little disconcerted (if not completely traumatized) by the whole affair. But he did what he did because he loved her. And he lost everything because of it.
In a world where bad parents usually don't give a damn, he might just belong in a category of his own.
Comments
Unfortunately, Ms. Gurock falls prey to general misconceptions about men with apparent personality disorders. She recognizes how he lied, he cheated, he faked his identity, he failed to work, etc., throughout his life, (though she doesnot mention a possible murder charge in California) and then goes on to write how his love for his daughter nearly redeems him. Well, this is a fallacy, and a very dangerous one. A man who lies and is parasitical in this consistent fashion is most likely disordered in personality and generally lacks in empathy for others; hence, such a man is a terrible father. It is actually very common for narcissistic types of men like this to make a great show of love for a child. In fact, many such men pursue custody and initiate custody disputes. But their real goal is not to give love to the child (remember, no empathy) but to show control over another and also to attract goodwill, as he has apparently succeeded in doing with Ms. Gurock. But, it is a sham and puts the child at great risk. I hope Ms. Gurock takes care to read more about narcissists and sociopaths before defending another one.
I am the daughter of a man who was an embezzler. He was never caught, and he died when I was in my teens. To all outward eyes, yes, he looked like a wonderful father. He doted on me, and I adored him right back.
We had a nice house and nice cars and went to good schools. But he put my mother through hell, and he was deeply in the hole when he died.
I never had a role model for how to get a real job. I always kind of felt money just fell out of the sky, like it did with my dad.
I also have to live with shame of knowing that my father couldn't play by the rules billions of people do to make a living. He lied, he cheated, he stole. And that is half my genetic makeup. I am prone to depression and bouts of joblessness.
This is the fallout of a man like "Clark Rockefeller."
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