DVD Review- The Chaos Experiment (2009)

Val Kilmer ponders his career choices in The Chaos Experiment.

What happened to Val Kilmer's career?  He's an actor who has dazzled audiences in such varied performances as Elvis in True Romance, Jim Morrison in The Doors, Doc Holliday in Tombstone, and, of course, the Ice Man in Top Gun.  Lately the roles he has chosen have been questionable at best.  Recently he's played the voice of KITT on the short-lived revival of the TV series Knight Rider, co-starred with master thespian 50 Cent in the direct to DVD release Streets of Blood, and appeared as the lead in The Chaos Experiment (originally titled The Steam Experiment), which did have a theatrical release...in two theaters.

Kilmer stars as James Pettis, a man who storms the offices of the Grand Rapids Press with a mission.  He demands to meet immediately with the editor-in-chief with a whopping story that he wants published on the front page.  His story is about how mankind is going to be destroyed by global warming.  He cites the Mayan prediction of the world ending in 2012 (specifically in December), warning that this disaster is "going to make New Orleans look like a candy store" (worst simile ever).  When the editor relents, Pettis threatens that if his article is not published then six people will die.  Pettis then explains that he has six individuals locked in a steam room where they will die in two hours if his demands are not met.  The editor agrees, but goes and calls local police detective Mancini, who is played by Armand Assante (American Gangster, Hoffa), another actor whose career has seen better days.

From there we meet the occupants of the aforementioned steam room.  There's Frank, an Italian restaurant owner and walking cliche; Grant, a retired football player played by Eric Roberts (of course); Christopher, a man whose wife died months before in a car accident; Margaret, a self-proclaimed neurotic; Catherine, a failed actress; and, Jessie, a mouthy waitress.  These men and women were gathered there by Pettis via an online dating site, telling them they've won a weekend getaway that starts with a dip in the steam room.  Soon they discover that they're locked in, and then chaos (as suggested by the film's title) erupts.  As the film progresses we go back and forth from the mayhem in the steam room to Detective Mancini grilling the ever twitchy Pettis.

What we have here is a movie that combines the politics of Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth with the torture porn tendencies of the Saw series (specifically cribbing plot points from Saw 2).  In short, The Chaos Experiment stinks.  It boggles the mind that this idea ever made it past the screenplay stage.  This movie has plotholes big enough to fit a global disaster.  The acting, especially of the victims in the steam room, is abysmal.  Several of the scenes in the steam room are bathed in strange dissolves and the characters are introduced via the odd usage of split screens.  One sequence in particular is overpowered by an operatic score, though that may have been done to mask the horrible acting on display.

Kilmer doesn't even seem like he's trying throughout most of the film.  When his character's true motives are finally revealed they come off as improbable and just plain stupid.  There is, predictably, a twist in the closing moments of the film, but it's badly executed and not entirely explained.  Sometimes this is done so the audience can make their own conclusion, but in this case it just makes a bad movie even worse.  The Chaos Experiment is not recommended for anybody, not even to be seen as a lark.  Perhaps there is still hope for Val Kilmer's career.  Sylvester Stallone began this decade with his film career descending into the toilet, starring in such box office disasters as Driven and Eye See You.  But then Sly brought back two of his most iconic characters, Rocky and Rambo, and he was back in the limelight again.  There are rumors that Val Kilmer may be returning to his role as Chris Knight in a sequel to 1985's classic Real Genius, that could be something.

There are no DVD extras included, which is probably for the best.

For more information: The Chaos Experiment

Rent it from Netflix (you have been warned): The Chaos Experiment