An illustration of the famous "beer doctor"...
Experts from the Johns Hopkins Welch Center, working alongside researchers from University College Dublin's Institute of Food and Health, have published a report linking moderate intake of beer to a lessened threat of hangovers the following morning.
The paper, which can be found in this month's Journal of International Medical Research (Involving Beer), tested over 1,200 participants from Dublin, Ireland and Baltimore, Maryland with "placebo beer", significantly reduced-alcohol-level versions of Guinness and National Bohemian beers. Subjects drinking these brews, containing less than 1% alcohol by volume, were found to exhibit considerably fewer negative effects (including a reduced frequency of fist-fights, fewer reported incidents of sexual harrassment, and significantly less consumption of salty foods after 2am) than the control group, given access to full-alcohol versions of the same. Dr. Joseph Feinstein from Hopkins, however, conceeded that the study's participants were less likely to continue consuming the placebo beer, often stating that it "tasted like piss" or was "watered down". In all cases where subjects drank the same number of beverages, though, it was observed that none in the placebo group exhibited adverse effects upon waking.
In addition, Dr. Ian O'Flaherty of UCD stated that many of his test subjects questioned him excitedly the next morning about the study. "One lad asked me, 'What black magic are you bastards testing here? I've never felt like this in the morning... it's unnatural!'", said O'Flaherty.
The clinical trial had more than its share of problems, however. Both institutions received a great deal of initial resistance from the manufacturers of the beer, who eventually gave in when reassured that, for every participant exposed to the placebo, there would be one additional convert to their product. Further difficulties arose when the trials were announced in Dublin and Baltimore.
"We had to turn away some 20,000 locals interested in participating once it was learned there would unlimited free beer consumption," stated O'Flaherty, "It was a mess."
Feinstein agreed, "Once the word got out, it was all we could do to contain the masses. One filthy group of guys camped outside for a week like they were waiting for Phish tickets!"
In the end, though, it was the clinics who benefited the most. The research team at Hopkins alone claimed over $14,000 in tips over the two-week trial... more than enough to pay for the cost of cleaning the bathrooms. "It was a windfall, definitely," claimed O'Flaherty. "And people will be talking about these findings for years to come! Now, if you'll excuse me, I need some Tylenol and a nap..."
Mark Burlet
Drunken Intellectual
For more info: see the press release here.
Comments
NICE
Beer can cure all kinds of ills if used properly. I believe hops should be studied further for medicinal effects. Hops are another of Gods wonder plants.
I DO know from long experience that drinking home brewed beer, it is very hard to get a hangover. It has to do with the vit b in the yeast you consume in home brew.
If there is anything Jimmy Carter did right it was allowing us to brew our own beer. Thanks Jimmy!
I have to confess...I was one of the test subjects. Secretly, I found it appalling that beer would be sujected to such indignities. But the free brew was too much to turn down. Unfortunately, (what am I saying?!) I did not get the low alcohol stuff and suffered the hangover of a lifetime...but, as with most drinkers, the memory of the pain, is fading fast (kinda like labor pains). I guess that means I'll do it again...
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