Lifting the veil of secrecy on shelters and services for families affected by intimate partner abuse
Yuma County in far southwest Arizona has a population of about 200,000 year-round residents. In the winters this population can double, due to an influx of agricultural workers and snowbirds from northern states. It is roughly halfway between Phoenix and San Diego, with very little in between Yuma and the major metropolitan areas. Perhaps it is this isolation or the fact that those who live there do so because they’ve chosen to be there. Either way, this area is uncommon in the way its various charities and helping agencies relate to each other.
There is a dynamic and high-functioning network between the agencies, that benefits all. The people who work for the variety of non-profits in the area know each other, and it’s not long before a new arrival will know the rest of the people too. There is always something being shared, be it information or resources. It’s not hard to get know the agencies and what they do.
The only exception in this, and in most other locales, is in domestic violence services. I have spent many years volunteering or working as paid staff, for a variety of orgs, and it never was a subject of much discussion, only a casual comment here and there, that the people who work those agencies tend to keep to themselves. When I was doing research on a book in 1999, imagine my surprise when I discovered that the services and programs administered in aid of domestic violence victims were nothing like I, and most people expect that they are.
People generally believe that anyone seeking help for this kind of problem can find it. After all, this is the implication provided by the helping agencies themselves. So when I went online looking for information, primarily to keep my facts right in the novel I was writing, I found a completely different kind of situation than I believed existed.
The main character in this book was a man being abused by his wife. It was a slightly unusual choice of subject matter, but this is precisely why I chose it. I wanted to write something different than the usual Burning Bed scenario, that would be closer to reality. Not only did I find the information on programs for men I was looking for did not exist, in many cases my requests for information were either ignored or responded to with outright hostility. I persisted however, and this search for simple information ultimately became the foundation of an advocacy for unserved victims.
Along the way I discovered that men were both excluded from services other than so-called “batterer’s programs”, and blamed for causing all of domestic violence. While this was the most surprising item I uncovered, there were other things that were diametrically opposed to the “open to all” scenario drawn by the national agencies. Most women were also excluded. This left only a small minority of women that were considered deserving enough to be helped. Even that small group of women would find that freedom from violence in their lives was not the actual focus of all these programs, which since their inception in the 1970’s had expanded to thousands of locations nationwide.
Meanwhile, agencies were on a constant round of promotion and fundraising, citing ever-increasing need. Shelters turned away more people than they could ever house or aid. There was apparently a raging epidemic of battered women out there who would surely be killed if more shelters couldn’t be built, and ever-tougher laws enacted to punish batterers. Yet the national media, quoting reputable sources, insisted that crime of all kinds was decreasing. There was also a disturbing rumor floating around that neither shelters for victims nor training programs for batterers was helpful.
What was going on here?
This is Part One of a multi-part series examining the issue of domestic violence and the way today's society addresses this complex problem. Part Two is here. Part Three is here. This series may be extended, so please check back for more!
Comments
Excellent article, Trudy. Keep up your example of true journalism - rare by today's hysteria standards of "journalism" where hysteria and sensationalism rule.
I feel some important information is missing in this article. For example, it says most women were excluded, but it doesn't say why. Are there logical reasons? The article states finding freedom from abuse was not the focus of these programs, but it doesn't say what was? These things seem important.
Also, if people are being turned away from shelter is it because they are full? that would certainly justify their fundraising efforts that the article criticizes.
The smame paragraph states crime is down and these programs don't work. If this crime is decreasing, doesn't that imply something is working? However, I would hate to see programs that help being cut because of a decrease in crime. If someone is in serious danger, a decrease in overall crime does not help the individual whose life should still be valued.
My law students and I have had the honor of being housed a period of 4 weeks to a month in domestic violence shelters in the the State of Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, and California. We can easily conclude that 99% of the staff including management are not self motivated to really help DV victims to full recovery. They clock in and clock out and are not goal oriented and not self motivated.
They made us sick to the stomach. If the ladies in these shelters were my daughters, I would have sued them all already. A total waste of money. They should all the forced to shut down and the previous workers should be banned nationwide from getting another job in a shelter.
Time to move on.
I have information on private cases and if you would like to speak to me about your bitter experience with Domestic Violence shelters, please feel free to contact me. Perhaps we can work this together to eliminate these lazy people from the industry, of such significance.
Law Student
i know what ur talking about. a gay friend of mine was battered almost to death by his bf and yet he received no help at all from the shelters/government etc.
Tiffany & Co is a very well known designer firm which produces many different types of products. They nike jordan shoes are well known for producing fancy pieces of jewelry which are made to a very high standard. Many pieces of tiffany store jewelry include beautiful diamonds. They products are Tiffany Bracelet,TiffanyNecklace,Tiffany Earrings and so on.
Why are law students staying in DV shelters? Surely, if they can afford law school they can afford lodging. It makes me wonder if this is why DV shelters turn desperate people away when they are full. And then the law students complain about the staff...what, room service wasn't up to their expectations? Give me a break. As know-it-all-law-students, what exactly would you have sued the staff for if they had been serving your daughters? Was the rent too high, the food too expensive, the laundry facilities not up to standards or the decor not to your liking? Please tell me what exactly would you sue for? Failure to enable? I'm sure law school has taught these students the difference between support, treatment and enabling...and qualifies them to do the performance evaluations on the staff. Oh yeah, and since when do law students have access to confidential treatment plans and progress notes to make such professional judgments. And what theory of motivation says it's the staff motivation that "helps"...all the shelter and the staff can do is give the women the opportunity to help themselves. If the women aren't motivated to do that what is the staff supposed to do...fill out job applications, go on job interviews for them and then work the hours for them...make their doctor's appointments for them, go in their place and take their meds for them?Even a psychotherapist can't "heal" a client if the client doesn't want to heal or isn't willing to stop the destruction.
I have now read all three segments of your article and looked at your bio.
With over 14 years of experience in the shelter and mental health field combined, 13 years of them as a licensed professional, I agree with you on many points. But some of your statements are misguided. If you don't like the way stats are tracked, take that up with funders. Shelters track their numbers the way funders ask them to. Your comment, "If any other agency attempted to engage in these kinds of practices in the same way, they would soon lose all public credibility", shows how little you know as this type of stat tracking is extremely common among social service agencies...and it's very telling if you know how to do the analysis. These stats tell someone a great deal about the shelter or any program.
Also, shelters are opportunities not cure-alls. The idea that the shelter staff has some kind of magic wand or pill that can motivate people to make different choices and want to work, etc. is crazy in itself. Many, not all, seeking services (shelter and mental health) want the pain to stop but they don't want to take responsibility for doing the things that need to be done. The staff can't do it for them. All they can do is give the victims (man or woman) the opportunity. People (man or woman) have to be held accountable for their choices...including choosing bad spouses/lovers/partners. Before DV becomes severe, a grooming process takes place and the victim frequently (cont)
(cont) turns a blind eye for years (sometimes because of their own state of mental health) allowing the DV to intensify over time (as their state of mental health deteriorates) because they like the lifestyle this partner affords them, they don't have an education and they can't provide for themselves or the increasing number of children they have had over time, or they are simply afraid to be alone and fear they won't find another partner...and these are just some of the reasons they pretend like it isn't happening. IF people didn't dive into relationships head first to put a roof over their head, fulfill some kind of romantic fantasy or to ease the fear of being alone, and they LEFT the relationship at the first hint of grooming, we'd have much less of this garbage to deal with.
And finally, (only because I do have to move on to other things!), your bio doesn't mention your education or background other than a writer. What's up with that?
Got something to say?
Examiner.com is looking for writers, photographers, and videographers to join the fastest growing group of local insiders. If you are interested in growing your online rep apply to be an Examiner today!