Did you know that you – not your dog – are the key to a successful dog training outcome? Your dog is just a dog doing dog-like things. He doesn’t know how to behave until he’s taught the correct behaviors by his favorite human. So the onus is on you to be a leader and a trainer, rather than being your dog’s best friend. This is a training relationship, and it is both fun and rewarding to establish this type of connection.
In your dog's mind, you and your family members are part of his 'pack'. Dogs are pack animals. Where humans strive to be equal, dogs instinctively need to belong to a pack which has a clear hierarchy and a definite leader. That's were you come in. Your dog needs to be led. He needs to know that there is an alpha leader in his pack. If he doesn't recognize this, your dog will look to fill that position, and that's when trouble begins.
The pack leader establishes rules and guidelines, and then enforces them, which creates a stable human/dog pack environment. Instinctively, your dog looks to the pack leader to ensure the peace, safety, security and longevity of 'the pack'. If this sounds like a lot of responsibility, it really isn't. Most of us naturally assume this type of leadership role with our dogs, just as we do with our children. It's a pleasure to guide them in the right direction and help them grow, however, sometimes we just lose track of what it means to be a leader.
Spoiling your dog - giving him anything he wants, anytime he wants it - is the exact opposite of being his leader. Think of a child born to a rich family that takes no responsibility for his development - the child with the proverbial silver spoon in his mouth. If he wants something, it is given to him. If he doesn't get his way, he throws a tantrum, and again is given what he wants. He doesn't have to work for anything, and never appreciates the value of what he has. What kind of personality does this child have? Is he well-behaved? Does he respect his elders? Of course not. The same scenario can happen with your dog.
A perfect example is when your dog tries to get your attention. He may paw at or nudge your arm to pet him, or jump up on you when he wants something. A spoiler will pet his dog every time the dog asks for it. A spoiler will also give the dog what he wants when he jumps up. A leader would not do these things. A leader would ignore the nudging, and only pet his dog on his (the leaders’) own terms. A leader would ignore the jumping up and the attention seeking, and only reward the dog when he is calmly sitting, or at the very least, standing on all fours.
Spoiling your dog is not good for him. Giving your dog attention just because he's cute, or babying him because he doesn't want to do something will only make him an unruly, difficult dog to handle. I've had hundreds of cases on the First Coast where dog owners call to complain about their dogs’ behaviors...the dogs run all over them, rule the roost, won't listen to anything they say, destroy the house and challenge them when corrected. These are all common symptoms of being spoiled, and they are so avoidable. Yes, you love your dog and you want to show him how much he means to you. However, show him in the right way, and in the right proportions.
One of the worst cases of spoiling I ever encountered was the case of Fred (the owner) and Pepper (the dog). Every evening after dinner, Fred would sit down in his club chair to watch the news. And, about 20 minutes later, Pepper would walk over to the chair, sit down and bark in Fred's face. Fred knew this was his signal to vacate the chair because Pepper wanted to lie down in it. So he did. Fred got up out of that chair every night so his little princess could lie down in it. Boy, did Fred need some leadership training. I hope that as you read this scenario, you realize how misguided Fred was. This is not the way to be the leader of your dog.
The leader controls everything that is valuable to the dog. Fred's chair is Fred's chair, not Pepper's to claim anytime she wants. The leader of the pack controls the dog's food, shelter, play, toys, exercise, and enrichment. Your dog needs to know that all these things come from you - that you are the source of everything he holds dear. In a wolf pack, the alpha male or female (yes, alphas can be female) eats first, claims the highest and best sleeping spot, controls who can play with him or her and when, and allows lesser wolves to groom him or her only when he/she feels like it. You will never catch an alpha wolf allowing a lesser wolf to eat either first, or when the lesser wolf wants to. Eating is done in a pecking order, with the alpha controlling the feast.
Feeding time is an excellent time to establish your leadership role. As stated above, the alpha, or leader, always eats first. This is a simple yet effective technique to adopt to help your dog to see you as the leader. Eat your meal first while your dog looks on, and do not ever feed him from the table - you'll just create a begging dog. Many people decide to feed the dog just before or during their own meal, so that the dog will leave them alone. This sends the message that your dog is above you in the pack hierarchy - the wrong message to send. Finish your meal completely, and then clear the table before you give your dog his food.
Once you've finished eating, give your dog his meal; however, only leave it down for 15 - 20 minutes. This is crucial. If you leave your dog's food down longer than that, you are basically telling him, "Hey King, here's your food, it will be here all day for you to come and pick at as you please. You do not need me to get it for you, you can help yourself."
By leaving your dog's food down, you are telling him that he is the leader and that you are serving him. Again, you become weak in your dog's eyes by doing this. Place the bowl of food down, pick it up after 15-20 minutes, whether he's eaten it or not, and then don't give him any more food (except treats for good behavior) until the next meal time. Not only does this help create the proper leadership status, but it also regulates his diet - and his bathroom outings. It's a win-win situation for both of you.
Another common mistake a dog owner can make is cajoling her dog into eating his food. If he doesn't eat his food, she may add people food, or try to hand feed him, or just beg him to eat. Mistake, mistake, mistake. Can you imagine Queen Elizabeth begging Charles to eat when he was a youngster? Or adding extra goodies to entice him to eat? No. This attempt at showing how much you love your dog does not work, and can even be harmful to your dog, by negatively affecting his behavior.
As the leader, you provide the food, and then leave your dog to fend for himself. Remember, a dog will never allow himself to starve. Let me repeat: a dog will never starve himself! He may not eat for a few days, but he will eventually eat. He may not like the food you are giving him, perhaps he's tasted better? (This can happen sometimes when dogs are fed people food - it's like offering a child a choice of pizza or broccoli...the broccoli is better for him, but which would he usually choose?) Or, because you have always left the food down, he may have become a picky eater, going to the bowl any time of day, and nibbling a few pieces of kibble. You want your dog to eat all the food when you place the bowl down. It's like telling your child that dinner is at 5pm, not at 7pm, after you've already put the food away and done the dishes. Do what is best for you, and what is best for your dog. Then you will truly show how much you love him, and want to do the right thing by him.
Another opportune time to establish leadership is during walks. Whether you are walking your dog in your neighborhood, at the beach, or at the Jacksonville Landing, or down St. George Street in St. Augustine; you should be the leader of your walk. You set the direction and the pace, and go where you want to go, not where your dog leads you. Think of being a King or Queen when you walk – head held high, chest out and determined steps. Believe it or not, your dog will be able to sense the change in you and will respond accordingly.
To help you further understand these leadership differences, think of your favorite teacher. One who greatly influenced your life…someone you will never forget, someone you look up to. This teacher was probably kind, thoughtful and fair. She, more than likely, didn't give anything away; rather, she made you work for what you wanted. You respected this teacher a great deal, and found great pleasure in doing your work for her. These are the qualities you need to show your dog. These are leadership qualities, ones that your dog will respect and relate to. You will be amazed at how much this one change in the way you relate to your dog will make such a big difference in how your dog acts and behaves.
Now, you might think that to be a leader you will have to strong-arm your dog, or force him to do what you want him to do. This couldn't be further from the truth. The leader isn't the strongest, or the most forceful, or the loudest, or the meanest. The leader is the most compassionate, loving, consistent, level-headed, and fair member of the pack. Because this leader is so fair and consistent in her dealings with everyone in the pack, the dog respects her authority and feels very comfortable obeying commands, deriving great pleasure from pleasing this leader.
One last point about leadership: every person in your family pack needs to be a leader in your dog's eyes. Mom, dad, nanny, and even the children, should all rank higher than the dog. The best way to accomplish this is to have the person the dog respects the least (usually the children whom dogs view as their siblings) take the most responsibility for the care of the dog. This person should feed the dog, walk him, groom him and train him. Only then will the dog see this person as his leader and take pleasure in being well-behaved around him.
If you live in a multi-dog household, it is even more imperative that all the human family members are leaders, ranking higher than all dogs. Additionally, there will be a pecking order within the canines in the house. All human family members should recognize and acknowledge this ranking. If Bella is the alpha female, and Freddie is below her, then Bella should be treated as such. She should eat first, go out the door first (behind you, of course), and she should receive treats first. If the dogs get into a light tussle, Freddie should be the one reprimanded for probably infringing upon Bella's space.
Being the leader of your dog isn't difficult. It is simply common sense if you think in terms of what is best for your dog. Remember, your dog needs a leader. He does not need a best friend. Having a leader is the most natural thing in the world for him, and he will thrive under your benevolent leadership.
So start today by showing your dog the right kind of love, in the right proportions.
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