Divorce and the children's bill of rights

Photo Courtesy of www.crystallinks.com 

---

Related Articles:

• Divorce and the games parents play  

• Divorce and the games children inadvertenly play 
  

Should you compare the last two articles, Divorce and the games parents play v. Divorce and the games children inadvertently play, you will likely see something immediately apparent in that parents tend to play more games than children throughout divorce.  Each articles sets out the types of games each party plays, yet in the parental game "division", there are ten different types of games that parents play, but only  four minor games that children "inadvertently" play.  Thus, to equalize the situation, let's take a look at the Children's Bill of Rights as provided by Kids First.

Children's Bill of Rights

1. The right to be treated as important human beings, with unique feelings, ideas and desires, and not as a source of  argument between parents.
2. The right to a continuing relationship with both parents and the freedom to receive love from and express love for both.
3. The right to express love and affection for each parent without having to stifle that love because of fear of disapproval by the other parent.
4. The right to know that their parents' decision to divorce is not their responsibility and that they will live with one parent and visit the other.
5. The right to continuing care and guidance from both parents.
6. The right to honest answers to questions about the changing family relationships.
7. The right to know and appreciate what is good in each parent without one parent degrading the other.
8. The right to have a relaxed, secure relationshp with both parents without being placed in a position to manipulate one parent against the other.
9. The right to have the custodial parent not undermine visitation by suggesting tempting alternatives or by threatening to withhold visitation as a punishment for the children's wrongdoing.
10. The right to be able to experience regular and consistent visitation and the right to know the reason for cancelled visits.

Having had the opportunity to review the Children's Bill of Rights, this writer would like to briefly discuss points 6. and 7.  Though perhaps not intentional, parents may still use subparagraph 6., "The right to honest answers to questions about the changing family relationships" as a means to "spill" more information about new love relationships than is necessary in an effort to encourage the child to run to the other parent with this information knowing that it may undermine any new love relationships.  Know that again, that would be considered a form of what is considered "divorce poison" by the Circuit Court system.  See the prior article Parental alientation hurts a child mostly. This is further substantiated and affirmed by subparagraph 8, that your child has  "The right to have a relaxed, secure relationship with both parents without being placed in a position to manipulate one parent against the other."  Along that same vein, again, please bear in mind that teens tend to excel at the game of "divide and conquer", naturally, as already set out in the article Divorce and the truth about teens. 

Regarding developmental stages in general, please be aware that each developmental stage carries with it, different reactions to the divorce process.  Should you like to investigate, further, each developmental stage of  your child so that you have a "higher understanding" of  what to expect from your child insofar as his or her reaction goes, you may simply visit your local library and ask your Librarian to direct you towards this type of information. 

"What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other." George Eliot

For more information or for a complete list of Corinne's articles in their entirety, please visit "Corinne's Home Page" @ www.examiner.com