Cheetos meltdown

I’m coming clean with all of you, I eat junk food – you know the kind; corn tortillas, pretzel sandwiches with cheese stuff in the middle and Cheetos. I am Pavlov’s theory in application, turn on the television and I must eat and carrot sticks just don’t cut it.

Whole Foods has a healthier version of the Styrofoam textured Cheetos but they just don’t have enough preservatives, salt or powdered cheese. They aren’t bad but they don’t hit the junk food spot.

Yesterday when I ventured to the dark recesses of the basement, the husband’s domain, to reboot the Comcast modem, I spied a bag of Cheetos. Well I have to have the system unplugged for 30 seconds so I munched on the Cheetos, read the ingredients and calories and put the rubber band back on the bag so the husband wouldn’t know I found his stash. I don’t buy this junk food for a reason, if it is in the house I eat it but he, the devil incarnate, brings this into my house.

Later last night while watching television the hankering for those Cheetos was overpowering. Yup, next commercial I was heading for the basement and the bag of Cheetos. I dashed down the stairs to the train layout that no longer runs but is storage for the husband’s crap, no Cheetos bag. This can’t be happening; there was ¾ of a bag earlier in the day. He had 1½ chicken salad sandwiches, cheese and yet he still ate the bag of Cheetos. I figured he hid the bag but no I spied the bag sitting on the top of the trash. NOOOOOOOOOOO, I had to have Cheetos. Like George from Seinfeld who took the éclair out of the trash, I reached for the bag. Inside the bag were Cheetos crumbs and the lovely orange cheese powder and like a junkie, no pride, I scarfed up what little remains were there in the bag.

I’m not proud of this Cheetos meltdown but confession is supposed to be good for soul whether or not I get absolution doesn’t matter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Need to reach the Dining Examiner, examiner@diningdish.otherinbox.com, follow me on Twitter @diningdish. For your convenience you can have my posts delivered to your e-mail in box by just clicking on the subscribe button above the story. Don't forget to check out my National Food Examiner column.