Holidays and helpful hints on buying your dentist's next swimming pool.

Help a needy dentist! During the holidays we can consume more sugar. There are so many things you can do to help your dentist. You may even be able to help your dentist pay for his son's education at Harvard.

If you work hard to eat a lot of sugary and acidic foods this holiday season, it will pay off for your dentist. I will give you a few helpful hints in order to enable your dentist to buy his next fabulous new swimming pool with the money you can provide through your dental work.

The first thing you can do is drink a lot of Cola products. Brown colored carbonated beverages work just as well. This adds that lovely brown tone on our teeth.We all want that! You could wear an autumn sweater to match. Coffee works wonders as well for this winter fashion statement. We need more coffee to keep us warm during winter anyway, especially with spoonfuls of sugar. It just doesn't taste the same without sugar!

If you are finishing off your Christmas look , the shiny new metallic fillings for your teeth would top it off perfectly. Go for the cookies, cake and pie. Your dentist will love you! Lots of trips to the bakery for Christmas delights will prime your teeth for those sparkly new fillings.

To put it simply, the sugar helps the bugs grow that destroy your teeth. The sugar is the food to get them munching on your teeth. If the bugs aren't annihilated by brushing they will go on to terrorize the rest of your mouth. Every dentist's dream! Every hygienist's nightmare. The more dental work you provide for a dentist, the more money that ends up in the dentist's pocket.

Does your hygienist say she loves you and the way you take care of your teeth? You are probably not eating enough sugar and you are brushing and flossing way too much. Get back on track. This does not help your dentist buy a new grand piano. It is time to step up and help him buy the things he wants. Go ahead and eat as much sugar as you want! If you want to double your efforts to help your dentist; eat even more food with a high amount of acidity. Drink a lot of booze! Why not? It is the holiday season and you live in Wisconsin after all! All that acid will just enhance the size of the decay in your teeth. Don't forget about gum disease. All the acidic foods work to help gum disease speed through your mouth faster than an FIB* on I-94. Combine acid and sugar and you will be your dentist's new best friend.

Foods that contain more acid will send you and your gums to another new friend. You can spend lots of hours with a periodontist. Just think of how many needy dental professionals you can help this holiday season! Click on this link for a list of acidic foods. You will be in the dentist's chair even longer if you should choose items that are more acidic. Hooray! This means more bonding time with your new dental friends!

Some terrific acidic foods are peanut butter, bacon and beer. Anything that is mushy and sugary will help feed the bugs and give them the edge they need to gain ground and dig further into your teeth. Applesauce is a great food for cavities and gum disease. Be sure not to brush and floss for a long time afterward. Don't bother with sugar free foods because that will only reduce your dental work. Remember,the goal is always to provide your dentist enough work so that he or she can take another cruise to the Caribbean.

You need to keep the dental offices going in this tough economy. You can help with your donations to the dentist's fund for a new fishing boat by eating more sugary acidic foods, drinking alcohol and smoking every substance known to man. Smoking dries your mouth out. Who needs saliva anyway? Saliva has been highly overrated in the dental world. Saliva helps to wash away the plaque from our teeth. A dry mouth means more dental work. That brown smoker's stain works well with the autumn ensemble you fashionistas picked out earlier this fall. Pot smoking can add that delicate touch of green stain for even more holiday spirit. Smoking adds that deeper brown color to accent the ever present lighter brown coffee stains. We need to help our dentists and give our dollars to them. Just think of what would happen if a lot of people quit smoking, a dentist might not be able to buy another cabin up north. And if a whole bunch of dentists couldn't buy cabins up north what would happen to our economy? It is all on you. Keep smoking. Keep Wisconsin's economy going strong.

. Charity starts at home. You deserve to have fun! Eat, drink and be merry! Doesn't everyone have dental insurance anyway? Your dental insurance has always been there for you. You have every right to use it! By following these holiday tips, you can help provide a needy dentist with another new swimming pool.

One reminder - don't forget the candy canes.