The GOP: grand 'old' party

Maybe the creationists had it right all along. Maybe dinosaurs did walk with man. Perhaps they still do. My guess is you might actually run across one meandering the halls of the Capitol or spot one on Foxnews snarling about health care reform or bowing too deeply to foreign dignitaries. Just watch for the 'R-(fill in the state)' along the bottom of the screen and you'll have all the proof you'll need.

Like the dinosaur, the Republican party is old. Their arguments are tired. Their solutions are primitive. Their sense of decorum is extinct. And as this past year has illustrated, they offer nothing new or constructive to the debate, no matter the topic. 

Drill, baby, Drill. Evidently, the Republican answer to energy independence is a slogan. Let's drill for oil here at home to attain this goal, they say. Though no attention is paid to the fact that even if we swiss-cheesed Alaska and the west, and dotted our coasts with oil rigs, it still would not provide enough oil to satisfy our nation's consumption and it would take 10-20 years before we could use whatever oil we did manage to extract. We need a serious solution to a problem that would address our environmental, economic, and national security concerns and what does the Palintology party offer? A Beverly Hillbillies solution to a 21st century problem.

Death panels for grandma. While Democrats debate cost controls, pre-existing conditions, competition, and public options, the Borg, er, Republicans repeat their standard 'solution' to health care costs: tort reform. As if limiting jury awards for cutting off the wrong limb or waiting too long to perform a c-section that produces a stillborn baby will cure all the ills of our health care system. In 2004, the Congressional Budget Office (CBO) released a study showing that medical malpractice costs accounted for 2% of the total cost of health care. Not only was this study released by the non-partisan CBO, it was released during the Bush administration when both houses of congress were controlled by Republicans. Further, Harvard economist, Amitagh Chandra, estimates the total annual cost of medical malpractice totals $3.6 billion. We spend $2.3 trillion on health care every year, and Republicans hammer Democrats and those darn liberal trial lawyers over $3.6 billion in medical malpractice suits. As Republicans demonstrate on the health care debate, being old doesn't necessarily mean being a grown up.

Take back your tired your poor. Every time I hear a Republican talk about immigration, it inevitably morphs into the scene from Gangs of New York where Bill the Butcher waxes nativist as right-wise born 'Americans' throw tomatoes and rocks at Irish immigrants as they leave their ships. Their solution? Build a wall along the border with Mexico and round up all the illegal immigrants and deport them. Not only do Republicans fail to acknowledge the sheer impracticality of these measures, they also neglect to say how they would pay for such a massive undertaking. Further, they don't address the other half of the problem--the companies, farms, and corporations who hire illegal immigrants and exploit them for cheap labor. In other words, the same tired, old Republican playbook comes into play: pit one little guy against another little guy and protect the rich, important donors.

Cut your tax to spite your deficit. At some point, a Republican should be forced to explain with real facts--and with a straight face--how you continue to cut taxes to the bone and reduce the deficit. And if they begin by saying we need to quit spending, then I'll be the first to agree that we could save a few hundred billion a year by getting out of Iraq and Afghanistan. To simply say--with no real thought, nor accountability--that we need to cut taxes and draw down the deficit, is senile. It is also the only answer Republicans have for any question posed on the economy. Conveniently, they also forget that for all the massive Bush tax cuts that were pushed through a complicit congress, they didn't do jack squat to avert the worst economic disaster since the Great Depression. If cutting taxes is always so awesome and swell for the economy, then why did Wall Street nearly pull a Chernobyl? Speaking of Wall Street...

'C' is for capitalism...and crony...and crook. Let the markets work, they say. This is code for 'to hell with regulation, just let unfettered greed reign'. The 'logic' goes something like this: allow those brilliant Ivy League minds to do whatever they can to create wealth and, eventually, it will be a boon for everyone. Yes, the old Reagan theory of tinkle-down economics. Well, if cops exist to regulate people, why don't we need an equivalent to regulate corporations? Greed, corruption, and immorality exist in people and corporations. I honestly can't wrap my mind around why those who purport to be conservative don't act, well, conservative. If financial regulation slows growth by two or three percent but would ensure we don't have to endure another economic crisis like the one we're clawing our way out of (i.e. a cautious, conservative approach), then why aren't conservatives all for it? Because that's what Republicans have always said--let the markets work. Its all they've said and it is all they know. Like a parrot that's been taught to repeat the same proclamation over and over. WHAAAAA, let the markets work, WHAAAAA, let the markets work.

Is it hot in here, or is it just Democrats? Climate change deniers, or as I like to call them, the Republican party, forgot to get on this train as it left the station years ago as well. First they said it was a hoax, now they say the science is unsettled. Anything to delay...to maintain the status quo. So while the overwhelming majority of scientists from all disciplines agree that climate change is, indeed, real, and that man is, on at least some level, is contributing to this looming crisis, Republicans believe that thousands of scientists, science academies, and science associations are wrong. Perhaps they stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

Not only do Republicans deny such a crazy idea as climate change, they also continue to sneer at conservation efforts (conservation...conservative...yet another disconnect) and brag about driving big American made gas guzzling SUVs. We're American, they say, and we like our cars big and inefficient and our bulbs incandescent...and inefficient! No mention, though, of Brazil no longer running their cars on oil, or the fact that Venezuela phased out inefficient incandescent bulbs almost five years ago. To heck with all that. Why do we need to build high speed rail, develop a smart energy grid, or harness solar and battery power when all we need to do is drill, baby, drill and lop off a few more mountain tops so we can burn some more harmless coal?

Republicans are old and tired. They are sorely lacking in vision, credibility, and solutions. They are a broken record in an iPod age. And on virtually every pressing topic facing the country, they are doing their best impersonation of an ostrich burying its head in the sand.

Oddly enough, if you are to believe evolution theory, the ostrich is a descendant of dinosaurs. However, I digress.