How do you deal with grief during Thanksgiving and Christmas? What are some of the common issues people face? How do you grieve properly and still get through the holidays? Talking with the experts, there are some clear and deliberate steps that you can take while grieving to still have a fruitful holiday season.

“Dealing with grief especially at this time of year can be emotionally and
physically draining” says Dena Cabrera, PsyD, staff psychologist at the Remuda Ranch. She recommends that “one takes on only as much as they believe they can handle.” Some parts of the holidays may be too much at first while others parts may bring relief for the griever. She also suggests that the griever “be around supportive family members or friends who understand the grief and can respect the need for simplicity, quietness, or space if necessary.” This is especially important if the griever is normally around people who are negative or urge him to get over it. She reminds us also to take care of our physical bodies by eating right, resting and exercising throughout the holiday season.

John Wilder, a marriage and relationship coach, recommends that a griever should, “do away with the holiday or at least celebrating the holiday. Instead, you must get out of the house and do some things that you would consider fun, especially traveling.” Many people I have talked to about this topic have echoed that travelling or simply having fun has helped them find healing.

Dr. Jennifer Howard, a psychotherapist, author and speaker, recommends that new grievers attend a grief group, and that they pick up one of Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’ books to understand grief. But, if the person grieving is in distress or has painful memories of childhood, she reminds them to begin seeing a psychotherapist to begin processing through their grief. She reminds people to “be kind to themselves and know that what ever happened, it takes time to get through.”

Remember that grieving while celebrating the holidays is difficult work. It can drain you physically and emotionally, but by following the suggestions of the professionals above, you can not only manage the holidays but have a positive experience while dealing with your grief.

Perhaps this year you might forget normal celebrations for a trip somewhere special. Or perhaps you can celebrate, but need to have someone else do the cooking. Maybe you will celebrate with all of the positive people in your life that understand what you are going through best. Listen to your heart for guidance into the right direction this year for you.

Additional resources:

For more information about Remuda Ranch, visit their website at www.remudaranch.com

For more information from Dr. Jennifer Howard, visit her website at www.drjenniferhoward.com

Contact John Wilder for a complementary ½ hour consultation at marriagecoach1@yahoo.com