Photo by Ana Patricia Almeida

There appears to be no end of interesting and unique ways to connect with others in today's marketplace of ideas. For those of us seeking to meet “The One” or perhaps just a companion to share fun times with, "Speed Dating" offers us many interesting options as this recent CNN segment suggests: “Looking for Love: Speed Dating for the Rich and Beautiful” ...o

r view a more comedic version of the process.

Invented in 1998, by Rabbi Yaacov Deyo, speed dating was initially created to help marriage-minded young Jewish singles meet and mingle.  Today, however, it has become a popular venue for just about any and everyone seeking to date or find other marriage-minded people.

While some of us may have our own concept of speed dating, namely, dating many people over a relatively short period of time (say a week?), business organizations condense it to dating several people for four or five minutes. That’s all you get.

The gist of it is this: An equal number of men and women are typically seated across from one another; each person has between 4-5 minutes to chat with the person opposite them. When the time is up, they move on to the next person and begin the process again. At the end, each person selects who they would like to see again. If two people pick each other, it's a match.

Does it work?

It depends on who you ask. Some people argue that the people who show up to these events are 100% not in the category of what they are seeking at all and therefore, a waste of time.

Another cites the example of a close friend who has been dating for six months a man she met at a speed dating event.  "She enjoyed the process, plus met someone she would NEVER have hooked up with. He is from the south, she is a New Yorker. And he is 11 years YOUNGER!!! But it’s working.”

What are the advantages?

Overall, the general consensus is that speed dating is more fun and efficient than online dating. For example, one advantage is that you know, on the spot, what you’re getting, so “you don’t have to suffer through a full date if there is no connection.”

There are no awkward, first time meet-up surprises, no physical attributes that somehow one or the other party neglected to mention in their profile. There is no s/he is much taller, shorter, fatter, older, etc. than the profile and/or profile photo indicated. One reader, who has done both speed dating and online dating for several years says, “100% of the time, I have found that if a man doesn't think of himself as tall enough he will lie about his height in his profile - - 100% of the time!  He may not lie about anything else, but he will about his height.”

Another believes that it is the most efficient way of dating because you pretty much know, in 4–5 minutes, if you're interested in seeing someone again. He found it exciting. “In a group of 20 people, you just never know what the next table brings. You might meet someone with looks but no personality or someone who is not a looker but who is very interesting.”  For women, it's the same, “you can tell a lot about a person when you sit down face to face even if it's only for 5-6 minutes.” 

A common gripe for speed daters is that because you are working within a short time frame people tend to ask the same (boring) questions (i.e.,“what do you do?”).  This can be a huge turn off and doesn't really speak to what makes you unique. Sometimes it's just nervousness, but remember, you only have a short window of time; creativity can go a long way. 

What are the disadvantages?

While speed dating events have an even number of people, occasionally one person may not show, requiring that a participant sit alone for a shift. Sitting alone, however, can be a learning experience. In one instance, it proved to be quite eye opening:

“I sat for a shift or two alone and… you listen to what is going on around you. There was a woman sitting at the next table and I heard her tell three different stories to three different men; she told one that she was just recently separated (for only a few months), another that she had been divorced for three years and the third another story. She also gave different ages.”

Speed dating, like online dating or all dating has its drawbacks and its cautions.  Buyer Beware and remember a red flag is a red flag. Ostensibly, one can never really be sure of what’s so, whether you met someone at a club or bar, at a party, or through a friend or online (the workplace is a little different and another can of worms altogether).

What choices do you have in the fast lane? 

If you want to go for the traditional speed dating model, Professionals In The City offers a wide selection of “4 minute seated dating” events for just about every demographic imaginable. Other local venues include FastLife.com and Hurrydate.com. But if you want to accelerate things a bit and are feeling a little experimental there are a few new options available (for free).

The speed dating concept is rapidly morphing from the meet and greet wine tasting mixer and formal table-to-table combat venue. Technology also wants in on the market (or maybe it’s just the tech geeks venue for meeting people) and so a few new apps include:

Speed dating for your iPhone. SpeedDate.com has launched an iPhone app that allows singles to connect by live videos or via a three-minute instant message. Similarly, there is also a “FunkySexyCool” app where you can meet, flirt and/or date.  Apparently, Facebook, until a few weeks ago, also carried the SpeedDate app.

Speed dating does offer a nice alternative to going to clubs or bars (and it’s probably easier on the budget too).  It’s a far cry from the half-hour long 1960’s ABC television show, The Dating Game where a bachelorette or bachelor would ask three contestants--whom they could not see--a series of questions and based on their answers, one would be chosen as "the date."  Similarly, you are traveling in the fast lane and only have a short window of time to make that winning impression. Creativity can go a long way and could even be that make or break moment. Ready? On your mark, get set, GO!

For a quick view of up and coming speed dating events, check out the "Get Your Date ON!" list just to right of this article.

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