Ask Kelli: Religion Conflict
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My wife's a devout believer in God, and I'm an atheist. She thinks it's important that the family go to church every Sunday for both religious and family reasons. I don't mind that she wants to take our 12 and 15 year old kids, but I really don't want to go. Should I?
Religion is one of those really tricky things and it’s times like these I like to play the “Who is more emotionally invested?” game. In other words, you need to have a sit-down with your wife and come to an agreement about who feels stronger on this issue. Is it your wife because she’s religious or is it you because you want your freedom? In 99% of the cases I see (religion or otherwise) one person always feels a tad stronger on an issue. You just both have to be honest about it and learn to chose your battles wisely. If you can tell it’s your wife who is more emotionally invested then I would go to church. You can look at Sundays as a “family day” rather than “religious day.” No one is forcing you to pray or change your beliefs, it’s just time well spent with the family. But if it’s you who feels stronger, then don’t feel obligated to go to church, but maybe plan an additinal activity you can all do together afterward. I hear they have a great special at Chuck-E-Cheese now...











Comments
"No one is forcing you to pray or change your beliefs"
I would say that for atleast most churches it would look ridiculously odd if you didn't join in for hyms and prayers. Also it feels horribly disrespectful to go but not participate, it is akin to someone day dreaming through a guest leacture at a University. If you weren't going to show enough respect to the speaker to particpate why did you go? Incidentally this is the same question that will be asked of you, and not just by one congregant but by many. It is not as though you can make an announcment before hand about how you don't actually believe in prayer which is why you sit quietly. Also after the service, I had people ask me what I thought, an honest answer no matter how tactful is not well receieved. So you effectively have to pretend to participate and then give vague nonconsequential answers when asked how "moving it was when the reverend said X Y" which sounded to me like "poppycock'. Not a nice way to spend Sunday!
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