3) We're watching you...

A few weeks ago I was at a bar, standing near a table of several young women. They were chatting about a couple of tall, studly guys they were checking out, sitting a few tables away.

 

“I hope the blonde one comes over.”

 

“He’s all yours; I like the one with the long, dark hair. Mmm.”

 

They giggled while intently watching their quarry. Abruptly, a couple of not-so-tall, not-so-studly guys interrupted their hunk watching. The two guys were obviously nervous but didn’t let that deter them from approaching the pretty young ladies.

 

“Hi, I’m David.”

 

“I’m Scott.”

 

“What are your names?”

 

The women looked at each other, disillusioned. One spoke for the group. “I’m sorry but you guys don’t have a chance. I mean, really? Did you really think you did?”

 

The young men, now disillusioned as well, excused themselves. “Sorry to bother you. Have good night.”

 

Frankly, I was impressed that the guys were that nice. I couldn’t help but chime in, simply because the women’s behavior was unbelievably pretentious. “Wow, did you ever blow it.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

I nodded my head toward the table of studly guys, who were standing, putting on their jackets.

 

“Dammit! The dorks scared them away.”

 

“No, you scared them away.”

 

“What?”

 

“You scared them away.” (I had now joined the women at their table.)

 

What the trixies failed to notice while they were busy doing their best to humiliate other people, was that their possible future-husbands were watching them interact with said people. When they chased the guys away immediately with scornful looks and a harsh remark, the table of studs shook their heads, waved the trixies off with their hands, and got up to leave.

 

I’ve witnessed women make this error, repeatedly. My favorite is when a woman maneuvers herself and her friends to stand by a guy she wants to meet. Another guy talks to them, they pretend to be listening, but all the while they are focused on the guy the woman really wants to meet. The guy casually suggests a possible date with one of the woman—“I love that restaurant. We should go sometime.”

 

She replies, “Yeah, sure.”

 

He smiles and they continue to talk. A few minutes later, he excuses himself for a potty break. As soon as he leaves, the women rip on him. “Oh my God, I can’t believe he asked you out.”

 

“I know, I didn’t know what to say.”

 

“Let’s move somewhere else before he comes back.”

 

They relocate to another part of the bar. The guy returns and scans for them. They hide and point, swallowing the object of his affection with their bodies when he notices them. She adds to the effect by spinning away from him and crouching down some. Embarrassed, he leaves. The women return, giggling. They spend twenty minutes discussing “the moron,” while hoping to catch the eye of the guy the one girl wanted to meet from the start. As the night wanes, she can’t wait any longer and she approaches him. “Hi, how are you? You’ve been here almost as long as us.”

 

He nods, “Yeah. Well, have a good night,” and turns away. She hurries away, embarrassed in front of her friends, who rally around her. They all then discuss what a jerk the guy is and talk about his cheap, ugly shoes.

 

Ladies, ladies, ladies. Come on! When you catch our eye, we watch you to see how you interact with others. What kind of person are you? When you treat someone unkind so quickly, it’s very obvious what is transpiring. And we just lost all interest in you. That guy who never came over, even though you gave him a dozen smiles and looks throughout the night, didn’t approach because he decided you were rude and not worth meeting; you would be a pain in the ass to date and just aren’t a nice person, even if you really are a nice person.

 

It’s the equivalent of when you watch a guy and become turned-off because he is obviously hitting on every woman in the joint. He has no class. Yup, and, when you dismiss or ridicule a guy without cause, you have no class. And your future-husband noticed. Always be pleasant and polite, even when rejecting someone. You never know who is watching. (I’ve seen many women turn down guys, politely; or, excuse themselves from the conversation with a smile. Guys still approach these women—guys they want to meet. I’ve been one myself on a number of occasions.)

 

So the next time you decide to just dismiss some geek or are having a bad day and can't deal with undesirables approaching you, take a deep breath, relax, and remember who might be watching before you do anything!